Are we Swingers? Trying to determine if we fit in?

[Chemistryamust]

We are a mid fortyish couple who enjoy meeting other couples, are open minded, like a sexually charged atmosphere and just like having a fun time. In a way we have a lot going for us as far as newbies, we are very comfortable and secure with each other, jealousy is not an issue with us. We have soft played with several other couples and have one swinging experience from several years ago, that although we probably broke most every newbie rule getting involved with, went very well and we both had a great time with it!

Although we've had a good time with most all the sexual experimentation we've tried were just not sure how we fit in? We really like to go out and have fun and certainly enjoy open minded people such as ourselves. The experiences we've had have all just started with being around fun people in fun places where one thing leads to another. In all honesty were probably not the type of people to make the first move in a situation (were pretty outgoing but not exactly what you'd call aggressive an can be a bit reserve)but if the chemistry with the others is good we're always anxious to jump in.
Herein lies the problem, we basically enjoy a good time and are open minded to lots of things but we just don't know how to classify ourselves, we would probably not post an ad on a swingers line for the sole purpose of finding others for sex yet in comfortable fun situations are certainly not opposed to having sex with others. We thought about going to clubs but here in South Florida, as we understand, everything happens pretty late with not a whole lot going on till after midnight, we're not opposed to going till after midnight but we are certainly not 4 and 5 AM people. Then we thought about private parties, someone had told us that many of them have listings available to you once you join swingers sites, is that the route to go? Guess our motto is fun first then we'll see about sex, does that make us swingers?

We have a zillion other questions to but won't try to address all of them in one thread, your thoughts and advice would be appreciated!

[jjtrindc]

First off, congrats. Sounds like you two have a great marriage and are fun people. Too bad you aren't in DC..lol. Don't worry so much about classifying yourselves as swingers or not, in the lifestyle or not. If you ask 10 people, you might get 5-8 different definitions. Key is to participate in activities that are fun and comfortable - for you! Now, putting an ad on a site like Swing Lifestyle doesn't make you swingers and doesn't mean that you are looking for sex with another couple. Yes, a majority of folks on the site are, but there are a lot of couples who aren't. Go ahead and post, but be clear as to what you are looking. You'll no doubt find like minded couples. Try out local parties and clubs and don't worry about what you've heard. Go and have fun as a couple. Nothing is more attractive in this lifestyle than seeing two people in love having fun. The more you participate in different activities the more likely you are to find couples you find interesting and fun. After that, you determine what you want to do. Don't worry about whether you are swingers or not...

[iapr]

Actually you sound completely squared away and self-actualized in this whole thing and I really don't see that you actually have any problem here.

If you were to be on a website and wrote on your profile what you just wrote on that post one of the first messages you would be receiving would be from us

Swinger is as swinger does and IMHO what you just described is exactly what swingers do. At least the ones that are happy and healthy and in it for the right reasons do and they are the ones that survive and flourish in the lifestyle while many others self destruct or just fall along the wayside.

You appear to be healthy and in it for the right reasons and letting your heart and conscience be your guide so whether you go to clubs or private parties or put up a profile on a website it really doesn't matter. Be yourselves, be responsible, don't do anything you don't feel right about and don't be afraid to ask for what you want and you will be fine.

[cplnuswing]

First off, , glad to have you here and look forward to seeing more of your posts. Reading your post was kinda like looking in the mirror for us, a lot of similarities with how we see ourselves.

The other replies are right on the money and say it all - y'all sound to be EXACTLY the type of couple who will get along great in the lifestyle, whatever label you choose to classify yourselves with.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Who needs a label? If you feel that you are swingers, then you are swingers. If you feel the name does not fit, then it does not have to be applied. Welcome, in any case, to the Swingersboard.

~Michael

[WesternSwing]

We would call you "opportunistic swingers", if the opportunity arises you'll take advantage of it, but you're not going out actively seeking it. The first couple we ever swung with are this way.

Mr. WS

[jdavisauto]

Sounds like you know what you guys want and know how to get it.

[LFM2]

to the board. You echo a lot of our thoughts. You really don't need a label, but just have fun, keep the communication open and keep life happy.

[JustAskJulie]

I think too often people get hung up on trying to put themselves in a box or to label themselves. There are as many types of swinging as there are swingers, so do you fit in? Yes. Will you fit in with every swinging couple you meet? No (but then they won't fit in with you either).

Each couple has to find what works for them and go with it. It sounds like you've figured out what works for you, so go with it.