Are we right for a threesome?

[TheAlbinoRaven]

Hi! I am in a long term relationship with my partner. Everything is great, we both love each other greatly. However, I have always had a fetish/fantasy about group sex or sex between her and another woman. When we initially got together she told me that she was bi-curious and interested in other women and that she did want to test that in the future to be sure, which turned me on. Recently I brought my fetishes/fantasies to her attention and she met a woman at the bar that she made out with(this turned me on so much!) and she said she enjoyed the experience. We both are questioning together whether a threesome with another woman is the experience we both want. I relish hearing her bisexual experiences and picturing her with another woman turns me on(nevertheless joining in), and she enjoys the few encounters she has. Should we pursue it? I am comfortable(I don't fear her pulling away from me, except with jealousy with another man involved, which she is not interested in) and I am not sure about her, though she seems comfortable. Am I just pushing for my fantasy or are we both just hesitant to live out the coinciding fantasy? Hearing her with another woman is SUCH A TURN ON! IT"S AMAZING! I get hard instantly from hearing her describe it and we both want to get with her friend and helped each other masturbate and had amazing sex to the fantasy. I just don't want to push her, she means the world to me. With another man, I would allow, though I would get jealous and feel extremely territorial, but another woman is just such a turn-on. I usually feel like there is something quite broken with me in this line of though/conversation, and that I am unfairly pushing her like some dumb jock that just wants two women. What do you think?

Raven

[The Fuse]

TheAlbinoRaven,

First of all, welcome to the Board. I notice this is your first post. You're definitely in the right place.

Second, I know it's difficult, but being a little calmer might help your thought process! You do sound like you're on the right track though. From what you write, you are just as interested in your girlfriend's happiness as your own. That's the important thing. If you both want to do something, and neither has anything holding them back, and you're not hurting anyone else, then it sounds like a good thing.

You sound a little conflicted about the possibility of another man. If your girlfriend isn't interested in that, then it's not a factor. But please make sure she's not just saying that to please you. If you get your threesome and then she decides she wants to be with another man, then you have some things to talk about. Probably best to talk about that possibility beforehand and see what her feelings are. There are lots of threads on here about jealousy -- lots of great information.

In general, please do talk to your girlfriend a great deal before doing anything, and just make sure everyone is comforable. Got to run. Good luck!

[BiloxiCouple]

The fantasy is amazing, the reality may be different.

Ya'll have some talking to do and slow the horse down some. Figure out what ya'll want, set some rules, follow them and have fun.

All us guys want the two woman fantasy.

[screaminggood]

Another suggestion: Instead of going for the threesome, why don't you (and the other man if there is one) just watch the ladies? Most women are comfortable with the idea, and I've not yet a man who didn't like the show. It allows her to explore her bi-side with you getting the pleasure of watching and the hot sex afterward, without y'all having to worry about reciprocating a threesome, etc. We started this way and it was easy to find other women into the same encounter.

[slevin]

Originally Posted by screaminggood

Another suggestion: Instead of going for the threesome, why don't you (and the other man if there is one) just watch the ladies? Most women are comfortable with the idea, and I've not yet a man who didn't like the show.

The show is great, but I have to say that if I didn't get to join in and participate I'd be far too frustrated (sexual frustration) to really enjoy it. It is exciting to watch and it makes me want to jump in and participate! Not too much fun for me to sit back and watch her have fun while I just sit there.

[graygo98]

To answer your question directly: no, you are not. Your comment about not fearing her pulling away, unless another man is involved, tells me that your relationship lacks the level of trust and confidence that should be there before you even think of inviting someone else into your bed. Regardless of the shape of their genitals.

Also, got to agree with Slevin. GoG with the guys watching is a fun appetizer, but its a pretty unsatisfying meal, IMO.

[TheAlbinoRaven]

Oh, those statements were not involved. I was saying that I do not fear her pulling away for another man, but I do get a little jealous(and I'm not normally jealous) something I realized I can easily work through if she ever wanted to experiment with another man(I've told her this). But one emotion that gets me is I feel with another man in the room and her in a "compromising" state like any sexual activity, I feel really defensive and feel I should jump in and stop him from hurting her in any way, that emotion is much stronger than the little jealousy I have. Sorry if that was misleading, it was really late at night. I was just on the subject of jealousy I feel and put two statements next to each other.

I really like the watching idea, but would find it creepy to sit next to another guy enjoying it, but it is still possible. I'm not sure, I really want to think it out before going for it, which is why I am here. We are also really worried about STD's with the wrong people, so finding them would be difficult. There was a girl she made out with at the bar who was interested in us, but she is afraid of STD's since we barely know the girl. So I'm not afraid of sitting on this for a while, discussing and thinking and looking at possibilities, good things come to those who wait.

[TheAlbinoRaven]

she said she wasn't interested in any other guys to be involved, but I offer anyways.

[fun4Ds]

Being ready or not, is really between both of you. Its great that you have found a way like this to put your feelings out in the open. Even though this is an anonymous post. It shows you being sincere to the subjects, thoughts and emotional feelings.

For us, we went over everything up until we found ourselves at the door to our first friends playroom. At that point, we still excused ourselves before getting our clothes off and asked each other again... " are you ready for this "

Fortunately, we said outside, in the cold of winter " Lets do this "

It was minus 2 degrees outside

[iapr]

I'd say if she is swapping spit with another woman and you are getting hot and bothered when she comes home and tells you about it, that means you are already knee-deep in it. Whether you are ready or not is somewhat academic at this point as it is already happening to a degree.

Where were you during this barroom exchange?

If you are both in agreement that each of you are ok with an FMF type scenario and you have already come this far then I guess I don't see the harm in continuing down this road.

My questions and concerns are more about hitting on chicks in bars than whether you are ready for it or not. What does this other chick think of it? Does she know you exist or does she think she is getting a new lesbian girlfriend?

Does this other gal have a husband at home getting a boner too, thinking this other gal is going to be bringing your wife home to him so he can have an FMF with your wife? Or is he going to go ballistic when he finds out his little honey is down at the watering hole tongue tickling with your wife so you can spank it while hearing the story unfold when she gets home?

How much does your wife want you involved or is she just getting off on getting some female action for herself?

At this point I think these are more pertinent questions you should be asking yourself.

As a general rule I advocate people swing with swingers and keep their vanilla friends (or in your case, your drinking buddies) out of your bedroom. Once you have established that you aren't going to be dismembered and/or killed then I think you can start making some strides into making this happen.