Advice for larger couples on getting started

[Spokaneman]

So me and my wife are new to this, very new, in fact we have not acted yet really. we have a personal add on Swing Lifestyle but have not paid for the service yet. we have talked about geting into swinging for a few years now, we want to start making steps into the life style slowly but not really sure how. one of the biggest problems for us, is that we are a bigger couple. he is 6' 0" 300 and she is 5' 9" 240. seems like all we see is fit people and we feel out of place due to that. we are attending YMCA 2x a week to start getting more fit, but that may take a while. so I guess what I am asking is.... any advice on getting into this life style for a larger couple ? if any advice at all hehe

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by Spokaneman

So me and my wife are new to this, very new, in fact we have not acted yet really. we have a personal add on Swing Lifestyle but have not paid for the service yet.

Hey there and to the board!!

Posting a profile online isn't a bad idea, but some people are turned off by "free" profiles. Sometimes, people can't really afford to pay for an online profile, and that's OK, too. It makes one wonder if you're serious about the lifestyle or if your just a picture hunter or some other type of perv. Just be honest in your search. Never lie about anything, but you don't have to reveal everything. Don't lie about your height/weight or age or what you're looking for. It's not a big deal to most people, but it can be lifestyle death if someone in the swinging world knows you lied.

we have talked about geting into swinging for a few years now, we want to start making steps into the life style slowly but not really sure how. one of the biggest problems for us, is that we are a bigger couple. he is 6' 0" 300 and she is 5' 9" 240. seems like all we see is fit people and we feel out of place due to that. we are attending YMCA 2x a week to start getting more fit, but that may take a while. so I guess what I am asking is.... any advice on getting into this life style for a larger couple ? if any advice at all hehe

Baby steps. Go only as slow as you're comfortable. Don't worry about size, because, believe me, there are people out there of every size, shape and color that are into swinging and we love the diversity.

What you could do is go to a club. That way, you're in the atmosphere, but not forced to play if you don't want to. You can "feel out" the area and if that might be something you're interested in doing. My husband and I don't live anywhere next to a club, so we started out by contacting someone online. That isn't for everyone. In fact, I've read here that it's easier to go to a club, talk to the owners, talk to other patrons and see how the swinging lifestyle might fit into your life.

Good luck.

[BiloxiCouple]

When you see advertisements of clubs, remember they tend to put a "certain look" on their advertisements. That's what sells. In reality their clientile is more Wal-Mart moms than super-models. Same goes for alot of online advertising.

Take it easy and have fun. The most important thing is, that this is about YOU! You have to make yourselves happy first.

[Spokaneman]

Originally Posted by BiloxiCouple

When you see advertisements of clubs, remember they tend to put a "certain look" on their advertisements. That's what sells. In reality their clientile is more Wal-Mart moms than super-models. Same goes for alot of online advertising.

Take it easy and have fun. The most important thing is, that this is about YOU! You have to make yourselves happy first.

I agree about the advertisements. but when I do a search for people in my area I see people who are pretty fit lol I guess thats just compared to me =P anyways this is more the concern of my wife, as I dont care what anyone thinks of me lol. there are some clubs near here that we could attend, however my wife is not ready for that and the main reason is, she is worried that she will be the only big girl and she does not want to be shuned I guess. so I am just trying to find ammo to use that will show or convince her that she is not that bad and that a club really is an ok place to attend.

[Spokaneman]

Originally Posted by LFM2

we started out by contacting someone online. That isn't for everyone.

we have thought about that as well. we look at Craigslist everyday lol and wonder if there is a good couple on there or not.

[fun4Ds]

Welcome to the Swingers Board

I am just wondering. Have you had a chance to check out Swing Lifestyle ?

Swingers Board - Swingers Personal Ads

There seems to be many from your area there.

I agree with others, people aren't as judgmental as you might think at most clubs. After all, we go in with our minds open and our clothes on.

[ncmd_couple]

Spokane,

None of us are perfect. Ok, maybe Julie. But the reality is that in the clubs we attend you can find people of just about every description. The main thing is for the two of you to go and have a great time with each other. It doesn't really matter at this stage whether you play or not. Actually, after a couple of years of doing this, it never matters. We have a great sexy time with each other! I also agree with Fun4Ds. You can post your profile on the personal ads review and get our opinions. The key is for the two of you to have fun together, and play time will come when the stars align!

S

(Hey Julie, did you like that suck-up!)

[JustAskJulie]

You'll find that larger couples in the lifestyle are more common than you think. I'm sure it varies to some degree by location but we've been to a number of parties where you guys would be average among the crowd. The trick is to not judge everything by one party or one site. It seems like a lot of the websites are centered in different areas. So if you aren't finding couples that fit you on Swing Lifestyle try some of the other sites and see what you can find. Same thing with the clubs.

The most important thing though is that you each have to be ok with yourselves. More than size, self esteem will keep you from meeting/clicking with people. If you aren't happy/comfortable with who you are others won't be either.

[BiloxiCouple]

Dress nice one night. Go to the club and sit very quietly in the corner and have a couple of drinks. Then watch the people and talk about them and what is going on.

That's what we did. Best way to figure it out is to go. You just may be surprised.

[dnmnms]

I understand what you mean. I have been up in weight and down in weight....
When hubby and I look at profiles sometimes I look at the female and think....right...I just bet my tail would be comfortable beside her....That has been the most difficult part for me. While I am down at the moment in weight, I have had 3 kids so hence no firm tight smooth skin LOL. I know 90% of the issue is just in my head but it can cause a mental block.

Melody

[Spokaneman]

Originally Posted by dnmnms

I understand what you mean. I have been up in weight and down in weight....
When hubby and I look at profiles sometimes I look at the female and think....right...I just bet my tail would be comfortable beside her....That has been the most difficult part for me. While I am down at the moment in weight, I have had 3 kids so hence no firm tight smooth skin LOL. I know 90% of the issue is just in my head but it can cause a mental block.

Melody

ahh yes, you seem to feel the same way my wife does then =P her size and her being comfortable with it, is what is stopping us right now. she always says that if she was thinner, she would be a raging whore lol dunno if thats true but thats how she feels. I guess I am just trying to get some insight into her feelings and how others view it in the swinger comunity. you guys and gals are all very helpful =) I am gonna get her to read this tonight and see what her reaction is =)

[dnmnms]

That has been 1 of the hard things to accept in the LS for me. It helped me to get comfortable with the couple 1st before anything else happened. I will admit tho that when the time came to get nekkid I didnt worry bout any of those issues LOL.
My oldest son was 2FT 1/2" the day he was born so he did a number on my poor tummy LOL but ya know I have learned that I am me...if thats a problem then no hard feelings..
Things we females see about ourselves other dont see as much. We are very critical of ourselves. Another thing I have found....while looks are part of the initial attraction it definantly isnt all that matters. Personality and being comfortable with someone else definantly has more sides than looks.

Melody

[Spokaneman]

Originally Posted by dnmnms

That has been 1 of the hard things to accept in the LS for me. It helped me to get comfortable with the couple 1st before anything else happened. I will admit tho that when the time came to get nekkid I didnt worry bout any of those issues LOL.
My oldest son was 2FT 1/2" the day he was born so he did a number on my poor tummy LOL but ya know I have learned that I am me...if thats a problem then no hard feelings..
Things we females see about ourselves other dont see as much. We are very critical of ourselves. Another thing I have found....while looks are part of the initial attraction it definantly isnt all that matters. Personality and being comfortable with someone else definantly has more sides than looks.

Melody

well as the guy, I kinda like my woman with a little meat on her =) I love my wife, and I find myself attracted to short stout women for some reason lol. I am not nearly as concerned about looks as most guys are. I like the average woman, I think a woman looks best when she first gets up in the morning =) but that's just me. my wife however has much more stricked standards that needs be met. all in all I am ready to go and have a drink at a swingers club and maybe meet real swinger couples, its just getting my wife to not think she would be the ugly betty at the club lol. I think she looks great, but then she doesnt trust that, cause I am biased =P

[Mr.Essex]

It's all about positioning. Practice the "spoons" position and you're golden. And never underestimate the power of a superior endowment. I met a woman with a substantial stomach and a mouth-watering pair of 42 F's. After our first liasion, she timidly asked me to guess her weight. I guessed 90Kg (approximately 200 pounds). She smiled and dragged me to a scale, where I learned that my not very substantial waist had supported a 122Kg (approximately 275 pounds) woman to a multiple orgasm. And she was an exemplary cook!

[SecretAsianMan]

There are some groups and clubs which definately do discriminate and try to present this "Ken and Barbie" image - however, based on most of my nearly ten years in the lifestyle - 90% of the people are definately NOT in that image. Some of us are larger - and some of us are more physically fit... be confident and don't be afraid to look around at some clubs first before 'jumping in'

You'll probably find that in many instances - you won't be the largest people at any given club... and you won't be judged by your weight... but the weight of your spirit and attitude.