Advice for larger couples on getting started

[jennandjamesinm]

You know this reminds me of something that was said to me at a party this weekend. We were in a group of people talking as the evening was winding down and a new friend that I had made looked at me and ran his hand down my side and said to me, "Please don't take offense to this, but to me, this is how a woman should be. It is very sexy to me." How could that be offensive? I am a big girl and you'll find people that appreciate you exactly the way you are and then those that won't, just like in Real Life. It all in how you feel about you.

Jenn

[deanncat]

Weight is always a issue with me i'm up and down with my weight, but don't let it interfere in my self image, not ever day is perfect, I do have my days I want to hide because I feel heavy then other days and i'm 5"5 and 213, but sex is fun and its fun with more people and I don't think people look at you imagine its all about personity and the sexual fun, just look at it like that

[maybeforus]

Thanks again Fuse your insight, I'm grateful for your wisdom

[maybeforus]

Originally Posted by jennandjamesinm

You know this reminds me of something that was said to me at a party this weekend. We were in a group of people talking as the evening was winding down and a new friend that I had made looked at me and ran his hand down my side and said to me, "Please don't take offense to this, but to me, this is how a woman should be. It is very sexy to me." How could that be offensive? I am a big girl and you'll find people that appreciate you exactly the way you are and then those that won't, just like in Real Life. It all in how you feel about you.

Jenn

Thanks Jenn, It's great to have your insight, and great to hear about so many positive experiences on this board

Thanks again

[nicerrtxcple]

hey me and my wife are also large.and we have meet some nice couple who are large also.just seems that there are not that many of us out there.

[crazi429]

Myself and Red are larger. Red has lost some weight and really trimmed up what she has and myself am 50 lbs less than this time last year and with the hip getting better I hope to get rid of another 50 by summer. I am comfortable with myself even though I want to loose weight and Red is very happy with herself but also wants to loose more. I feel our attitude means it all when meeting people. I have been with several very large women in the past and the ones that are happy with them selves are so much more fun. I hope to do our first club thing this weekend and that it all works out. Just waiting on red to give the go ahead. And be off work.

[twohots4u2]

Please don't hold back from swinging because of your weight. Just be selective about the swing clubs you attend and the couples or singles you meet with.

Bob is heavy while I am very fit. The first time we went to a swing club it was LaTrapeze in New York City. The first couple we played with was a guy who was fairly fit, but his wife was fairly heavy. We had fun with them but I was disappointed that the wife would not let me play with her. We had lots of fun there over a long period of visits because the folks were comfortable with Bob and we had lots of play. We found out that some of the other clubs there cater to younger, fit couples and singles, so we have avoided them.

We also have gone to swing clubs in LasVegas, where we found that Red Rooster to be very accepting of us. Also, we have gone to swing clubs in the Miami area, finding acceptance and having lots of fun at Club Hedo in Pompano Beach but avoiding Miami Velvet and Trapeze, who cater to the younger, fit group.

We notice on Swing Lifestyle that there a lots of couples who are heavy. We have had lots of positive responses on that site and have found folks there that we have meet the played with.

So, just be selective, open, and you will find folks who find you compatible.

[Spokaneman]

Originally Posted by twohots4u2

Please don't hold back from swinging because of your weight. Just be selective about the swing clubs you attend and the couples or singles you meet with.

Bob is heavy while I am very fit. The first time we went to a swing club it was LaTrapeze in New York City. The first couple we played with was a guy who was fairly fit, but his wife was fairly heavy. We had fun with them but I was disappointed that the wife would not let me play with her. We had lots of fun there over a long period of visits because the folks were comfortable with Bob and we had lots of play. We found out that some of the other clubs there cater to younger, fit couples and singles, so we have avoided them.

We also have gone to swing clubs in LasVegas, where we found that Red Rooster to be very accepting of us. Also, we have gone to swing clubs in the Miami area, finding acceptance and having lots of fun at Club Hedo in Pompano Beach but avoiding Miami Velvet and Trapeze, who cater to the younger, fit group.

We notice on Swing Lifestyle that there a lots of couples who are heavy. We have had lots of positive responses on that site and have found folks there that we have meet the played with.

So, just be selective, open, and you will find folks who find you compatible.

For now we are just hanging back, I (Him) do not care if people dont like how I look. she however is still very worried about such things lol. though she does want to become involved in this life style, she does not want to danger her ob or her family life, so we are being very careful for now =) we are interested in going to a swingers club near here, called The White Rose, but again come the worry of performing and people judgeing the looks. she does not want people snikering in the corners asking why the "FAT CHICK" is here =/ I think she is dam sexy and gets me hot whenever I am near her, but I am Biased =P

[ncmd_couple]

Spokane,

Going to the club might be a great option for the two of you. None of us are perfect, well, some are, but I don't expect to meet them at a club, they are in Hollywood making movies. Just be yourselves. As for your wife's job, we both have jobs that would suffer if someone learned about our play time. But if they learned about it from meeting us at a club, they would be in even deeper doodoo than we would be if they let it be known.

S

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by ncmd_couple

Spokane,

Going to the club might be a great option for the two of you. None of us are perfect, well, some are, but I don't expect to meet them at a club, they are in Hollywood making movies. Just be yourselves. As for your wife's job, we both have jobs that would suffer if someone learned about our play time. But if they learned about it from meeting us at a club, they would be in even deeper doodoo than we would be if they let it be known.

S

The Hollywood people aren't perfect either, they just have better lighting, make-up, airbrushing, and editing

[ncmd_couple]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

The Hollywood people aren't perfect either, they just have better lighting, make-up, airbrushing, and editing

Haha, yeah, isn't that the truth! I've seen some pics of the "stars" that aren't made up and I wouldn't know who they are if they didn't mention it in the caption!

[funfun31]

She shouldn't worry, she's ADORABLE! My wife said "Don't worry! There are plenty of us everywhere. Us big girls see a lot of action and have the luxury of being as picky as anybody, so get out there and have fun! It's all in the attitude." As for us, I can say that we've been to quite a few clubs and we see people of all ages, shapes, and sizes. There is a fit for everyone. We aren't exactly skinny folks ourselves (I was 6'1 and a less-than-shapely 225 when we got into this and my wife is 5'1 and is well over 200 lbs herself). That being said, since we got into this about two years ago, her self-confidence is through the roof- I guess now because there are more guys than me telling her how sexy she is, lol. She has found that when she walks into a club and feels like she looks great (remember, sexy is not a clothing size, it's an attitude) she gets plenty of attention and that makes her feel even better. Go for it! With a few positive experiences under your belt, you'll both laugh at how nervous you were when you got into this.

Hope this helps,
Swing Lifestyle ID funfun31 from Lancaster, PA

[tp0121]

Originally Posted by Spokaneman

For now we are just hanging back, I (Him) do not care if people dont like how I look. she however is still very worried about such things lol. though she does want to become involved in this life style, she does not want to danger her ob or her family life, so we are being very careful for now =) we are interested in going to a swingers club near here, called The White Rose, but again come the worry of performing and people judgeing the looks. she does not want people snikering in the corners asking why the "FAT CHICK" is here =/ I think she is dam sexy and gets me hot whenever I am near her, but I am Biased =P

When I was first introduced to the lifestyle I was 130lbs on a 5'91/2' frame. Today I am 230lbs and the same height. Believe me I understand how she feels but I will not allow that to prevent me from going to the clubs once in awhile. I am not going to say that I am 100% comfortable with my body because I am not, but I do know what I have to offer and it's sensational (if I may say so myself). Go to the club and sit in the corner and watch everyone. Then take her in a room and make love to her. She will want to go back again and again.

Just my late 2 cents

Shellie

[crazinred]

I will have Red respond also but as stated above we are both above the normal weights that society says is what we should weigh. We both are working at loosing weight and toning up our bodies. We are doing this because we want to not because society says we should.
Our first visit to a club was a week ago. All we can say is it turned out great. We went with no expectations and just took it all in. And apparently we where interesting enough that people wanted to talk to us. This is so different then bars and night clubs. Everyone is there for the same thing and know that. Since our first visit we have been to another club twice and a house party. They have all worked out very well. The more we go the more Red feels better about herself. There are people of all sizes and shapes at the clubs and there others that desire people of all sizes and shapes. Just Making the first step is the hardest. I strongly recommend doing a tour at the club if possible it helps relieve some tension to know whats going on where. And according to what your looking for she don't have to have sex with anyone but you so then the safety it there. Once she gets comfortable then go from there. By your picture she is a very attractive woman so hopefully she can get past the nervousness the first time and start having fun.

Originally Posted by Spokaneman

For now we are just hanging back, I (Him) do not care if people dont like how I look. she however is still very worried about such things lol. though she does want to become involved in this life style, she does not want to danger her ob or her family life, so we are being very careful for now =) we are interested in going to a swingers club near here, called The White Rose, but again come the worry of performing and people judgeing the looks. she does not want people snikering in the corners asking why the "FAT CHICK" is here =/ I think she is dam sexy and gets me hot whenever I am near her, but I am Biased =P

[MrkLin]

What they said^^^!

Please, go to the club, watch, mingle, dance, and have fun. You don't have to participate in any way, shape, manner or form. Just be friendly. I think you'll be surprised at the way you're greeted. I'll also add that I agree that just by looking at your avatar, I can tell that she's a real cutie. I don't think she'll have any problem at all in turning heads - and I mean that in a good way.

You're going to see people there who are smaller than you are, and you'll see people there who are bigger than you are - just as you'll see people who are taller or shorter than you. A club is attended by a cross section of real people. The difference is they're all interested in a common thing.

I do hope you go. And to "SpokaneWoman," you have nothing to worry about. Just in looking at your avatar, I can assure you that nobody is going to look at you and say, "Who's the fat chick?" In fact, I'd be willing to bet you that you're asked to dance a few times, and you'll definitely have more than a couple of guys very interested in inviting you into a playroom.

I'd like to invite you to check out my blog, and read my entry titled, 'What Happens at a Swing Club?' I think it'll answer a lot of the questions you have, and maybe a few you didn't know you had. Above all, just relax and have fun. Remember that everyone at the club had a first time too...