Is it Easier When Out Of Town?

[hbmanandgigi]

Hello All.

Here's something for everyone to put their two cents in on.

I was just reading one of the threads talking about how someone looks at a couple differently now that they are considering the lifestyle. I have done that myself.
My girlfriend and I are going to Chicago soon to check out one of the swinger Clubs there. We've talked about maybe joining in with another couple. I would love to do that.
My question is this. Do you find it easier to try swinging out of town or in town? Out of town you meet people and may never see them again. You're a little less inhibited. In town, you might run into them at the grocery store or at a sporting event. Akward? How has it been for most of you?

btw, would love to meet some of you someday.

H

[BiloxiCouple]

Doesn't matter to us, in/out of town. And we do run into people at Wal-Mart that we know are swingers. Sometimes it's a conversation and sometimes just a nod of the head. And the conversations are just about life in general, weather, kids and so on.

People tend to lose some inhibitions when they are out of town. Just don't go on vacation and come back on probation

[realcplub2]

It depends on you, and where you are located. It also depends on the number of possiblities in your area, vs how "out" you want to be

For the longest time we put down the county we lived in rather than the town, which is really pointless because most sites ask for your zip code. But to us, it was more a matter of worry that the small town/small minds would pin point us.. And while it doesnt bother me in either case, we didnt want any possible blow back on the kids, which are still in school.

Our answer was to pick the next big town in our area.. In Ny, it was a town some 20 miles away that we ended up in usually anyway, be it for dinner or a movie or just simple shopping. Since moving south, its again the next big town over, St Augustine..

More to do, see, enjoy there than the po-dunk town we live in here.. besides, here, no no-tell motels, lol

Oh and Bille is absolutely right.. Wal Mart DOES have everything... including the local lifestyle folk.. except here, just no sure thats a good thing

[LOL_OMG]

It really depends on where you end up landing in the lifestyle. Just log on Swing Lifestyle or any site and you will see profiles that go from 'Friends first' to, ' We are in this for sex.' From our perspective, it's difficult to travel and 'have sex' because we do like to make a bond of some sorts with a couple before playing. Not mentioning names but we have friends on this board we have met with, wanted to play with but were not around them long enough to do so. Hopefully they know who they are because good times could be had when we meet again, we digress. The bottom line is what are you comfortable with. Just take your time and see what works for both of you, don't rush things and all should be good.

Mr. Omg

[CPL4XTCY]

Absolutely for us!

All depends on what you want from the lifestyle experience. We don't like the online swingers sites, we much prefer the clubs. So when we are out of town people know we aren't regulars and meeting up with us next time is a iffy venture.

Walking into an out of town club means we havent played with half the crowd, no one has any expectations, and there is really "no strings attached" with getting together in the future.

[fun4Ds]

I have to say, if this is the first time for you. It would still be about your comfort level.

I would think it is more about feeling comfortable with strangers or friends the first time and even there after.

How do you feel about that ?

Would you rather have the comfort of playing with someone you have started a friendship/connection with , or someone you would never see again most likely ?

[hbmanandgigi]

To fun4Ds:

Personally for me, I can't speak for my girlfriend, the thought of meeting a couple of out town on our first or second outing would make the experience more memorable. I would eventually, if it goes that far, like to meet couples whenever we went out of town. I could do either. It would always be better to play with someone you are friends with, but I think playing with someone I would never see again has it's benefits too.

[jjtrindc]

If you are going to reach out to locals when you travel, pay special attention to their profiles and don't be offended if they say no. While we may find a couple interesting, we pretty much avoid meeting any couples who are just passing through or visiting as we try to use our limited windows of time to develop ongoing friendships and relationships. The same goes if they live more than 30 minutes away, lol. We want to spend our time having fun, not driving.

Yet, when we travel we certainly do not hesitate to send out a few emails...though that is more to have someone local to go out with who may know a local club or two rather than specifically for sex as it usually takes us a date or two to feel comfortable to have the clothes come off.

That being said, resorts like Desire and are world upon themselves. You are so disconnected from the stresses of life, jobs, kids, etc, that we find ourselves much more likely to be uninhibited. Of course, you also have plenty of time to get to know and bond with a couple over the span of a day or two than you ever would at home when juggling schedules. Ahhhh, Desire...can't wait to go back!

[Cpl2share]

For us we prefer to stay away from home. The old adage Don't shit where you eat has been a god send. We do have friends who turned out to be in the lifestyle, and we see them on a regular basis. Right now they are the only people we play at all with. We also had one couple (in our podunk town) who Mrs. Cpl said no to as she had gone to school with him and did not like him then. Nothing was going to change that. I continued to chat with the female on occasion, but never revealed who we really are (both of us are rather well known in the area, so are very descrete). After about two months of chatting with the other Mrs., she started naming names of other swingers in the area. Most of them we knew, and a few we even knew were swingers. The problem was, she had no idea who we were and if we would out everyone that she was naming. Lesson: Small towns are very difficult to play in and be safe. We never play with locals (except the one couple) and we never play in our town. We always go out of town to play. We never entertain, a car over night can cause too many questions.

That is just us.

[lotsoffun201]

Since we live in Nevada, many of the couples we meet are from out of town so I guess it works in reverse here.

[cplnuswing]

We fit into the out of town faction. There are several reasons for that, one of which we live in a very small town in a small county where it seems like the best thing they can think of to do with their time is make sure they know everything there is to know about everyone else's business. Don't need that drama in our lives, just too risky.

Getting away from home, even if it is just a few hours away, helps us step outside our day to day persona and have a good time without worrying about what the neighbors might think, who might know who and be not so discrete about what they talk about, etc. Away from home, those worries for the most part disappear and we have a better time since we don't have to be on our guard nearly as much.

[hbmanandgigi]

Originally Posted by Cpl2share

For us we prefer to stay away from home. The old adage Don't shit where you eat has been a god send. We do have friends who turned out to be in the lifestyle, and we see them on a regular basis. Right now they are the only people we play at all with. We also had one couple (in our podunk town) who Mrs. Cpl said no to as she had gone to school with him and did not like him then. Nothing was going to change that. I continued to chat with the female on occasion, but never revealed who we really are (both of us are rather well known in the area, so are very descrete). After about two months of chatting with the other Mrs., she started naming names of other swingers in the area. Most of them we knew, and a few we even knew were swingers. The problem was, she had no idea who we were and if we would out everyone that she was naming. Lesson: Small towns are very difficult to play in and be safe. We never play with locals (except the one couple) and we never play in our town. We always go out of town to play. We never entertain, a car over night can cause too many questions.

That is just us.

I completely agree with the "don't shit where you eat" saying. I also don't agree with outing others who are in the lifestyle. On the one hand, it's kinda nice to know who else is open in town, but what if the Mrs. was saying that to someone else and your name was mentioned. Not cool. Maybe you should let the others know that Mrs. has loose lips so they don't get caught up in her bullshit.

[JustAskJulie]

It doesn't matter much to us. We'd actually like to meet more compatible couples closer to home but for the most part is seems that most of the couples we've met close to home haven't really been our cup of tea. Oddly, some of those we've met that were... we initially met out of town (and they were locals to us). Think of it this way, others are going out of town as well. Our favorite club is almost 2 hours away. It's our favorite because we have nothing like it locally, not because of the distance, but on a regular basis we run into people there from our town. So don't think that going away from home is going to prevent running into people you know.

Discretion is key to most swingers. We've run into people we've met in the lifestyle at the mall and we just treat them like we would anyone else we may have met anywhere.