Hello...learning about the lifestyle!

[charsey]

My husband and I are very happily married and love each other dearly. We have a great sex life and enjoy pleasuring each other. In the past, we have kind of joked and discussed being with another couple, etc. But, recently we have really begun considering this lifestyle for us.

Can anyone give us advice, where to's, etc. on this lifestyle?

We both agreed that whatever we do, we will do this as a couple (be it making friends via internet, encounters, etc.) and that if either of us feels uncomfortable then it's not for us. The ideas and thoughts are in our heads and we enjoy talking about our fantasies with each other. We are very open to each other and easy to talk to.

This is all about pleasing each other and enhancing what we already have together.

Anyway, we're up to all the advice anyone can give and it would be greatly appreciated!

[realcplub2]

First off.

Now then the best advice we can give is what you are already doing, TALK TO EACH OTHER

The next best advice would be to figure out what your personal target package is.. What would you like to try/ do first..

Fantasies are a great way to figure out what you might like, but remember, much like anything else, the fantasy is never as good as reality.

[charsey]

Thank you for the comment. Looking forward to hearing from others and learning.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by charsey

My husband and I are very happily married and love each other dearly. We have a great sex life and enjoy pleasuring each other. In the past, we have kind of joked and discussed being with another couple, etc. But, recently we have really begun considering this lifestyle for us.

Welcome to the Swingers Board There are a lot of threads from a lot of people just like you guys.

Can anyone give us advice, where to's, etc. on this lifestyle?

Sure we can. We post here because we are swingers. We like talking about it also when we are not swinging. You would be surprised how we can live our normal lives, have incredible sex, Work at our jobs, go to church, visit our family members, visit our vanilla friends, hide all this from everyone..... And still have time to post about it

Some like you, are just beginning and some have had much experience. This is a great community where we share what we have learned. Some things are simple some are not so simple. But we can assure you of honesty. Many before you have began their lifestyle journey here, by discussing lots of situations. How they feel, and how to listen. Well, we sorta did One thing stands out though,.. Diversity. And that is also one thing you will see in other couples and singles in the lifestyle.

We both agreed that whatever we do, we will do this as a couple (be it making friends via internet, encounters, etc.) and that if either of us feels uncomfortable then it's not for us. The ideas and thoughts are in our heads and we enjoy talking about our fantasies with each other. We are very open to each other and easy to talk to.

Well, There might be things you learn about each other in this lifestyle that might feel slightly uncomfortable. I mean, there is allot to understand. About yourselves as a couple. Each other as individuals. And even freaks like us

I know some things come natural, but meeting people on dates and at the clubs can be a little strange at first. At least it was for us. Thinking dang, lets go have sex with these people. Thinking and doing are two different things.

This is all about pleasing each other and enhancing what we already have together.

Welcome to the Lifestyle then

Anyway, we're up to all the advice anyone can give and it would be greatly appreciated

Have a look around the forums like Curious about swinging. Check the archives as well, about getting started. Talk about what you think would be a good beginning and ask anything you like here.

Thanks for introducing yourselves.

[jjtrindc]

You are already off to a great start! Good communication is the fundamental aspect of any solid lifestyle relationship. We are like a broken record on this topic if you read our other posts...but talk, talk, talk...and talk some more. Explore all those thoughts, fantasies, concerns, etc.

When you are ready to get started, set some ground rules about what you will and will not do and stick to them. If things start to progress with another couple, be clear with them what your limits are. Remember, if a couple really likes you they'll respect your rules and be around when you are ready to progress. By sticking to your rules you'll make sure that you have no awkward moments.

As for going out, everyone has different comfort levels. We enjoyed going to an "off-premise" club (meaning no sex can happen on premise) and just dancing and enjoying the sexy vibe and meeting like minded couples. On-premise clubs or house parties are a lot of fun too and can let you be more adventurous even if you don't play. Others prefer simple meet-and-greets which tend to just be a gathering at a local bar.

From there you'll discover what your comfort level is in meeting couples. We like doing it online given our busy vanilla lifestlye as it gives us time to meet the couple via email, etc, before getting together for drinks or dinner. Others are good at "picking up" couples at parties.

Whatever you choose we suggest sticking to two basic rules...communicate and stick to what makes you comfortable...oh, and HAVE FUN!

[JustAskJulie]

It sounds like you guys are on a good road already. You are talking with each other and you understand how important it is that you do this together with both of you in agreement. Keep up the communication.

You'll have lots of questions as you go. Right now things are so new that your questions are almost "how do I walk?". Take some time and read through some of these forums (I'd start in the Getting Started archive forum) and if you have questions as you go don't hesitate to post them. Reading those and asking more questions will help you communicate even more and get your heads wrapped around exactly what you do and don't want.

Or you can just jump in, post an ad on Swing Lifestyle or another site, or visit a swinger club or party, find a couple and go at it and then see what questions you have after the fact.

[charsey]

Thank you all for the the advice that you have given. Everyone seems so friendly and willing to help us along, and that is great. Enjoying reading everyones comments and advice that is given. The one thing that stands out is COMMUNICATION!...and luckily for us, we are able to talk freely to each other without judgement of what one may feel or say...That is a good thing. I know we will face awkard moments, especially getting started and figuring out what it is we want. But, as long as we have people to go to for questions/answers then I think we will figure that out quiet easily. Again, thank you for your time!