How to test the waters?

[pinkmoose2]

My wife has indicated an opennes to swinging recently to spice up of sex lives. I have always been turned on by the thought of her with other men. More so than me with other women, but I'm flexible.

That said, she can be self-conscious and timid in social situations. She would never jump into a Swingers Club situation without better understaning and comfort level with how it all works.

Are there meet & greets around the Dallas area to visit/talk with active swingers and get a better feel for whether this is a lifestyle that would be a good fit for us? I'm imagining something in a relatively public venue - does such a thing exist?

Are there other introductory things we could or should do to better understand the culture of all this before we find ourself in an awkward situation?

[socolais]

Welcome to the board!! I remember reading about a year ago about some local vanilla type Meet & Greets. I'm sure they're happening all over the metroplex. We found notices of several that we thought were interesting, but never actually attended one.

We made a profile on Swing Lifestyle and started looking for local groups. There's a wide spectrum of Swing Lifestyle Groups to choose from and it's quite likely you could find something interesting within a few months. Some of the groups had a sign-up sheet for the M&G and you could preview profiles of other folks that intended on attending.

We got lucky when we found a house party with a reputation for being beginner friendly and it coincided with us being ready to explore.

[cplnuswing]

The best introductory thing you can do you have already done - found this board! Do a lot of reading in the Curious About Swinging forum and communicate with each other about how you feel about what you have read. Might want to check the archives too for topics that interest you.

There is also a Club Reviews section that will be helpful should you decide to go the club route. On-premise clubs worked really well for a lot of people, including us, to test the waters and see what we thought before jumping in. Go with no expectations other than to have a fun evening out together, and everything will go fine. Clubs are what you make of them and people will pick up pretty quick on what you are there for. If you want to just kick back and watch to get a feel for how things work, don't be worried about having to fend off descending hordes of swingers wanting to break-in a newbie. Most swingers "playdar" is pretty good and even across the room your body language will let them know that you aren't looking to hookup.

For Meet and Greets in the Dallas area, just sign up for a profile on Swing Lifestyle or one of the other sites and you can search for events in your area. There won't be any shortage of them and you can pick the one you think best suits what you are after.

No matter how much prep work you do, just remember it is always going to be nerve-wracking that first time walking into a club, M&G, etc. Honestly, for some of us, that never goes completely away but it becomes more of an nervous excitement about a new situation rather than a sick-to-your-stomach what the hell am I doing here nervous

Do your homework, talk and then talk some more, go at the pace of the slowest person, and everything will turn out fine

[CPL4XTCY]

Easiest way to ease in is just going to the club, we hummed and procrastinated and drove around the block 19-times. We paused at the door and walked away and chatted if we really wanted to do this.

Once inside, everyone was friendly, nobody was pushy, we had a few drinks and chatted. People knew we were new and came by and introduced themselves.

By 2am we were doing tequila shots off another couples body and were heading into the back-room for some soft swap (everything but intercourse).


Your best bet is to find the club that best suits you. Check out the reviews online of the various clubs and call up and speak to the hosts before going and ask a bunch of questions so you know what to expect.

Other tips to get your self-esteem up so you are ready to party is:
hair-cut
shave
new sexy outift
pedicure/manicure

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by pinkmoose2

My wife has indicated an opennes to swinging recently to spice up of sex lives. I have always been turned on by the thought of her with other men. More so than me with other women, but I'm flexible.

Welcome to the Swingers Board, Hopefully To the both of you I can see your interest about seeing your partner with another man,

And..... I'll raise you two. I felt the same way you did

The thing is, there is allot of difference between thinking this and actually doing it. Hopefully, you and the Mrs, can go over some of the topics regarding this lifestyle. You mentioned finding another male. I will have to say for me, I find playing with singles rather different than with couples. Let us know if you don't find answers to any questions either of you have.

That said, she can be self-conscious and timid in social situations. She would never jump into a Swingers Club situation without better understaning and comfort level with how it all works.

This is one of the best places to find a womans point of view. There are some really honest and sharing women of the Swingers Board. And their SEXY also .... You'll See.....

Are there meet & greets around the Dallas area to visit/talk with active swingers and get a better feel for whether this is a lifestyle that would be a good fit for us? I'm imagining something in a relatively public venue - does such a thing exist?

I'm not sure about your area personally, but the swinging community is definitely just a mouse click or two away. I think first you should know it seems public places for us were one of Two ways. First you have to be invited in by known members. Thats difficult in the beginning for some, but using the personals websites like Adult Swingers Personals Service and LifeStyle info. or the new Swinger Zone - Swingers Ads and Personals . They are quite useful. We get many invitations to parties on both.

It takes time to meet people in the community. Which in turn gives you both a really good chance to talk about things.

Then there are paid get togethers. These require you to be prepared. Not in a necessarily frightening way. But, we have seen many variances. Be prepared to do the research about anywhere you may go. Some are as light as meeting with actual name tags in the beginning to full blown hotel take overs.

Are there other introductory things we could or should do to better understand the culture of all this before we find ourself in an awkward situation?

Honestly, our guidelines go like this, We call them the three SSS's.. Safety, Sanity and Sex. And in that order

Go over some of the things like Rules (I hate to call them that) To me and Mrs.fun We consider only One a rule. NO MEANS NO The rest are guidelines for us. Not only about the lifestyle but also our relationship. The two go hand in hand.... Like is say, you'll see. If you pursue something like this together.

Let us know anytime, many here will share our ideas and thoughts

[jjtrindc]

I'm not sure there is much to add to the great advice already given. Hopefully, though, you'll find comfort in numbers of those giving the same advice. You guys have already started off in a great way - talking! We've found the biggest pitfall for new couples are going into the lifestyle without having open and direct communication. Keep it up. We still talk at length as our thoughts evolve based on the various experiences and people we've met.

This board is also great. Read it together and separately. Discuss what you've read. It may bring up questions, etc, that you hadn't thought of.

As for clubs, but if Dallas is anything like our area, you'll find a variety of clubs that range from on-premise (meaning sex can happen there) to off-premise (meaning no sex on-premise) to informal meet & greets. All have different advantages based on what makes how comfortable you are with what you'll find at these forums.

For us, we choose the off-premise club for our first couple of outings. They were great to experience the sexy vibe, meet people, chat, etc. We also held a firm rule that we wouldn't play until we had gone out a couple of times. That took a huge amount of pressure off. You'll find that 99% of the people in the lifestyle of super nice and very respectful of your boundaries. No absolutely means no.

Ultimately, we found our preferred method of meeting couples was through posting Ads. We aren't great at "picking up" couples at bar meets, etc. We like going out to dinner or drinks with couples we've met online and getting to know them over the course of an evening.

Again, pick your pace and stick to it. It's not a race...but a marathon. Enjoy the run!

[screaminggood]

Howdy! There are both on-premise and off-premise clubs in the Dallas area. My suggestion is to let your wife do the websearches for them....she can decide what she'd be most comfortable with the first time she walks in to one. Does she want to see suggestive dancing or watch it all? If y'all have any questions about the local scene, there are several of us on the board that will give you our honest opinons about the various options as the reviews can be old. Rest assured, y'all will get a warm welcome to any club.