How do we get our wives to take their clothes off?

[HeymrDeeJay]

Hello all - this is my first post and I'm looking for some advice. My friend and I have been working our wives closer to a swinging encounter and am looking for some tips. We are all late 30's. Both girls are confortable as a foursome and when the wine is flowing they have been confortable with some ass grabbing and general swapped grinding and clothed rubbing/contact. How do we get the cloths off. My friend and are are both comforatble with us getting close to each other's wives and the girls getting a little handsier with us. Tips anyone?

[two4youinswva]

Sounds like you and your friend have had some good communication in regards to a swap.

Have you been communicating about swinging with your wife on the same level?

[jjtrindc]

We're in total agreement with 24u. Both husbands should be having an honest and open conversation with the wives. I think we all get "frisky" when the wine starts to flow, but it's a big leap to actually get naked with another couple - especially if you have never done it before. Sounds like everyone is potentially ready, but if not, you don't want a drama scene which could result in bad feelings between the spouses. Talk it out with your spouses and talk it out with the other couple.

[JustAskJulie]

Have you tried actually talking to your wives instead of just trying to get them drunk?

[JustMrJ]

All of the above...

The ladies need to be in this conversation with the guys... sans wine or any kind of alcohol.

Honestly, you want them sober when you start asking them these questions. Sure, mention the 'fun' everyone has had until now, but make sure you get their feedback on where you guys want this to go.

Make sure there is no jealousy, guilt, etc. Also, make sure they are not only okay with being with the other guy, but letting you be with the other lady.

If everyone is not willing and in agreement, then the show is off! ... Otherwise, you are looking to ruin what sounds like a VERY good friendship with this other couple.

Let us know how it goes...

[iapr]

I will stick to what I have said every time a, "should we swing with our friends?" question comes up and that is keep your friends out of your bedroom. All guys fantasize about swapping with their buddies wife but that does not make it the right thing to do.

What the core question needs to be here is do you and your wife want to introduce another person/person's into your bedroom and are you two ready for it as a couple? That is something that needs to be addressed and discussed between you and your wife and not between you and your drinking buddy.

If you and your wife can have a sober, mature and rational discussion about this then you can decide how you want to make it happen and how to go about it.

If you and your buddy want to spank it and fantasize about each others wives on your own personal and private time that is fine but a conspiracy between two horny guys trying to cop feels off of each others wives is a recipe for disaster in more ways than I can count at the moment.

You are risking your marriage, your friends marriage, your friendship and your reputations within your communities and circle of friends between all of you if you keep going down this road.

Stay sober and keep your hormones under control and if you are your wife are truly consenting adults interested in swinging then research the lifestyle together as a couple and if you decide to try it then seek out actual swingers and keep your vanilla friends and drinking buddies out of your bedroom.

[good times]

I agree with Iapr, what you describe is almost exactly how we originally got interested in swinging. Unlike our experience though, you are at a point to stop it before it goes bad.

In our case, my wife and I decided after much discussion that we wanted to take it farther with the other couple. Like your situation, the other guy was all for it. Unfortunately, when my wife brought up the subject with the other wife when she was sober, she didn't take it well at all. The result was that my wife lost her best friend at the time. We have not been included in their circle of friends since, that was about 8 years ago.

[2inSanDiego4u]

Originally Posted by good times

I agree with Iapr, what you describe is almost exactly how we originally got interested in swinging. Unlike our experience though, you are at a point to stop it before it goes bad.

In our case, my wife and I decided after much discussion that we wanted to take it farther with the other couple. Like your situation, the other guy was all for it. Unfortunately, when my wife brought up the subject with the other wife when she was sober, she didn't take it well at all. The result was that my wife lost her best friend at the time. We have not been included in their circle of friends since, that was about 8 years ago.

Wow, if that isn't a sign to not try to convert your vanilla friends, we don't know what is! Very sad that you could not patch things up with them. Maybe enough time has gone by that you could try to reconnect with them again. We were recently able to reconnect with an old friend that we had a serious falling out with almost 10 years ago (not lifestyle related). It's nice to finally bury the hatchet and start over again.

[mixtupcpl]

This reads like a "what not to do" tutorial.

To me, the "right way" is for each couple, on their own, to have the intimacy and trust required with each other to discuss if this is something they really want to try and if they think it is really who they are. If each marriage survives that little bit, then the two couples can meet each other on equal terms.

Two guys agreeing behind their wives backs and then attempting to get them drunk enough to do it sounds like a bad script.

Seriously, if this is for real, slow it down and talk to your wife about what each of you want. The fact that you'd go about it backwards seems like a warning sign in and of itself when it comes to the communication side of things. Especially since you guys are mature couples and not just a bunch of horny kids.

[WildFire]

Assuming you aren't trying to hit it off with a full swap your first night getting naked, you may want to test the waters a bit more first. Wine can help, but you definately want to be sure that the girls WANT to go to the next step like everyone else said.
For us, we had many encounters (baby steps) with full nudity and very soft swap situations that worked well within our pace before an actual full swap took place with the other couple. Since all four of us were very good friends we weren't trying to push too fast and kept the communication lines open.
All of our experiences luckily went well, but there were some moments that had some bumps, especially early on.

Now we can talk openly about swinging any time of the day, but it wasn't the case at first. I think everyone goes through a period of personal discovery in regards to just having the fantasy vs. really doing it. Most people decide they don't want to go any farther when it is introduced and a few of us do want to proceed ahead.

Here are some icebreakers that had worked for us.
Hot tub, with a side of truth or dare (I know it sounds lame, but it works)
Strip Poker, (once someone runs out of chips)
Guitar Hero or Rock Band, (guys shed their shirts when they get hot, so sometimes so do the girls)

Good luck to you... take your time...

[sweet_tna]

How do you get your wives to lose the clothes? Try ASKING first . . . when you're all nice and sober, and alone with your own spouse.

It's one thing to play grabass when you've got a few glasses of wine in you. Heck, Mr. Sweet and I have a friend whose hubby gets kinda' friendly with me when he's drunk, but we ALL know his wife would NEVER allow anything more than that . . .

Which brings up another point. Most folks on here would point out that it's not a good idea to play with vanilla friends. It'd be hypocritical of me to say that, since our swinging cherry was popped by close friends of ours. I think it CAN work if ya'll all go into it with open communication between everyone and a better idea of what you're getting yourselves into.

When you talk with your wives and IF they seem interested, then this board would be a great next step. Ya'll can all learn more about the lifestyle, and the advice you're really looking for.

=)

[Chris&Amelia]

to what Sweet said.

[2inSanDiego4u]

Originally Posted by sweet_tna

Which brings up another point. Most folks on here would point out that it's not a good idea to play with vanilla friends. It'd be hypocritical of me to say that, since our swinging cherry was popped by close friends of ours. I think it CAN work if ya'll all go into it with open communication between everyone and a better idea of what you're getting yourselves into.

It probably can work, but it can also backfire just by talking about it, as stated by Good Times above. If in this position, the couple must decide if having sex with their vanilla friends is worth the risk of losing the friendship forever. If they are very good or best friends, probably not worth it at all. There are plenty of fish in the swinging sea!

[sweet_tna]

Originally Posted by 2insandiego4u

It probably can work, but it can also backfire just by talking about it, as stated by Good Times above. If in this position, the couple must decide if having sex with their vanilla friends is worth the risk of losing the friendship forever. If they are very good or best friends, probably not worth it at all. There are plenty of fish in the swinging sea!

I won't argue that point. But as I said, it would be hypocritical of ME to say, "Don't swing with vanilla friends."

And here's the thought process WE came to when considering whether or not to play with our friends. We'd known each other 3 years at that point, and were pretty good friends. Heck, Mr. Sweet and I were coaching their kids in youth sports, so it could have ended badly. But we were all adults. We trusted their judgement that if they were willing to take that risk then so were we.

And I guess that's what it all comes down to. Being aware that the friendship could be at risk, and all parties being willing to take that risk.

=)

[good times]

Originally Posted by 2insandiego4u

Maybe enough time has gone by that you could try to reconnect with them again. We were recently able to reconnect with an old friend that we had a serious falling out with almost 10 years ago (not lifestyle related). It's nice to finally bury the hatchet and start over again.

We actually do see these folks once in a while as we have a lot of mutual vanilla friends in common, so it is inevitable that we run into them from time to time, but we are what I would describe as no more than socially cordial with them. They have made it very clear to us that we will never be close friends with them again. In their words, "we are just too weird for them to hang out with any more".