Wife is not interested

[closeup65hotmal]

Well after 20+ yrs of marriage and still in love with each other we were chatting and I approaced tthe subject of light swinging , we we go to a club and observe. My wife listened and then told me that she was not interested and that she is very happy and that so felt insulted that I would even bring it up, so it looks like my fantasy of watching and being watched isnt going to happen but what can you do when you love someone so from now on im just going to login and read maybe post now and then and take what life gives me LOL

[LFM2]

to the board!!

If you read more postings, you'll find more often than not that a lot of us wives were insulted, hurt or whatever when the men brought up the idea of swinging. Your wife is feeling the normal feelings.

Please, feel free to ask questions if you have any.

[fun4Ds]

Welcome to the Swingers Board

You have talked to your wife about these things.

At least you talked and she listened, and in return you listened also.

These days, thats better than allot of vanilla couples do. Sorry nothing became of this.... at least for now. You more than welcome to hang around with us here. Your honest, we like that

[shy_tn_gal]

I am fairly new to the lifestyle - but will admit that when hubby brought it up, I was mortified!! Then angry!

I went through every emotion imaginable and he, with GREAT patience and understanding, listened, talked and explored my feelings.

He had been in this lifestyle before we met and it was an entirely new way of life for me.

I don't have a doubt in my mind that, had I insisted, he would have walked away and never brought it up again.

But we talked it out, bit by bit - and took it slowly - until I came, not only to peace with it - but to wanting it and enjoying it!

I think the most important thing is communication and patience. Take small steps as she deals with things.

If it is right for her she'll eventually come around. It just takes some time for some (like me) to overcome alot of very normal emotions.

Good luck to you both.

[jjtrindc]

We think you have a great attitude toward all of this. Maybe this will not be something you'll be able to experience, but now that you brought it up perhaps she will want to discuss it. Shows like "Real Sex" on HBO and "69 Sexy Things To Do Before You Die" on Playboy channel might help as they show real people taking part in fun, sexy activities. Hope to see you at a club sometime.

[applevenus]

For what it's worth, I have tried talking with my wife and she is simply not interested.
It's a pity but that's the way it is. I've been reading here for the last 4-5 years and have resigned myself to just being a reader.

[closeup65hotmal]

Thanks for all the replies its good to know that my wife reaction seem normal I will not broach the subject again with her but wait for her to bring it up hopefully LOL

[midnightplayer]

My wife is very comfortable with sex once a quarter and has no interest in swinging or any form of sex. She won't even consider watching light porn with me. I accepted this for 25 years, and now at 60 feel I have been cheated out of one of the greatest joys of life. Sex. Now I resent her for her controling my life and dictating my sexual activity, I did not get married to be jacking off in the bathroom late at night. Don't give up, you will be sorry later in life when you look back and see what has passed you by. Good Luck

[rpu3]

Check out the "Bringing the Topic Up" forum in the Getting Started Archive, and you'll see that your wife's response wasn't unusual.

Glad to see you here and glad to see you are checking things out and not just pressing on without your wife!