No today may be yes tomorrow then what?

[LICKADESPLIT]

My boyfriend and I decided a club was the way to go for us. We currently live on opposite coast so our next trip together we would like to explore this lifestyle. I've gotten some great advise from another post of mine. I shared a post that sounded like our personalities with my boyfriend. They suggested making a night of it dinner, wine to celebrate the start of a new chapter in our relationship and then on to the club. If we set a rule for our first visit of "no play" and decide to go back the next night and want to say "YES" to play what do we do? Do we explain that this is our first outing in the lifestle and this is a "no play" night for us? Do we explain anything or just say no thank you? I don't want "no thank you" to be a forever thing?

[sweet_tna]

Be honest. If you set a "no play" rule for the night, then be upfront with couples about your intentions. Most will be understanding that this is your first outing, and as a long-distance relationship couple, as well.

Have a great night out!

=)

[BiloxiCouple]

That's the right way to do it as with anything else. Just be honest. It's the best way and you'll get your story right the next time you talk to them.

[aster]

Sounds like you guys have a great plan in place and are thinking this through! Dinner would be a great time to bring it up to the other couple. At some point during the conversation, I'm sure you'll be asked "are you excited?" or some other question about your expectations. That would be a perfect time to chime in with "Yes! We can't wait to see what it's like! Of course, we've pinky sworn that tonight we'll just play with each other...and if all goes well we'll be back tomorrow from some exploration."

I'd bet they will be really cool with that...they probably remember their first time, and will want it to be a no pressure night. And they'll be encouraged that you're willing to head back so soon!

[jjtrindc]

We like Aster's response! Just remember, everyone in the lifestyle had a "first night out." From our experience, especially when meeting new couples, the topic of where each couple is in the lifestyle usually comes up. That's the perfect time to let them know you are brand new and want to just experience the club together that night. Expect that some couples are out looking to hook up and may move on. No worries. You want to be with couples who you click with and are respectful of your boundaries. Just be clear so that you aren't leading anyone on. If you do decide to play, make sure you are both on the same page of what 'playing' means. Kissing and dirty dancing? Getting naked and grinding. Oral sex. Full swap. Communication is key and it sounds like you two are off to a good start.

[JustAskJulie]

Just let folks know on your first time out that it's your first time and you don't feel you are ready to jump in head first just yet, but you'll see how it goes. There's no need to re-explain yourself the next night... hell it probably won't even be the same people there the next night.