How do you get over the "Jiggles"

LoveUbye · 08-15-2008, 03:49 PM

Hi All,
Mr Love and I are new to the lifestyle and have not done anything yet. We are looking for same room sex only to start and then move from there. We have been discussing going to clubs and getting the feel for everything and then going to a private room. From there we will graduate to a "room with a view" until I am comfortable with having people watch.

My fear is that while we are doing the room with a view people will see things (butt and thighs) move to their own beat

and people will be repulsed by this. I am not a large woman (size 14 or 15 depending), but I have had 2 kids so things are not where they used to be. I know a lot of women in the lifestyle are built like me. So my question would be how did you get over it?

Thanks for the help!

***JustAskJulie*** · 08-15-2008, 04:07 PM

It's important to understand that not everyone is attracted to all things. Some will walk by a window with a certain body type playing inside and keep on walking, others will see that same body type and stop and watch and enjoy. That's what you have to remember, those who enjoy will stop and watch, those who don't will walk on by. If they don't like what they see, they don't have to look, touch, play. And there will be those who will enjoy what you have to offer.

**fun4Ds** · 08-15-2008, 04:21 PM

LoveUbye,

You know, you don't have to graduate to people watching. I know many of people who aren't into that.They prefer privacy.

At least its not in the brochure we got

Like us for instance. The only people who have seen us are either the people we are swapping with, each other, or someone who ran out of energy first in a group setting. I think thats our comfort level, its people we are more than strangers with, that we don't mind staring at us butt naked

.

Honestly, as far as watching someone els. The greatest, most awesome people we watched to this day. Is a couple that were so into each other..... they never even knew anyone was around.

Truly amazing. Actually, they were husband and wife......

Then we also know a few who really want to give one hell of show.

Is that why you think of this a a graduation or the next level ? Is it more on the lines of a personal accomplishment that you hope to overcome ?

**BiloxiCouple** · 08-15-2008, 04:36 PM

All those little things you are worried about with your body are the facts of life and sometimes what has kept us alive.

With recent open heart surgey I am learning how to deal with the scars of life. I use the therapy pool at my gym and it's funny to see the parents get their kids out of that pool pretty quick when I show up and take them to the pool that they should be in.

bbarnsworth · 08-15-2008, 04:38 PM

Echoing fun4Ds first; you don't have to graduate to others watching if you don't want to. It's whatever YOU want to do (and those you're swinging with agree to).

Ok, so you've had two kids. How come you haven't hired three personal trainers and a dietitian to put your body back in the shape it's supposed to be? I'll answer for you

Because you're like the rest of us; you've a life and a non-millionaire budget to blow. It's ok. Really.

My wife isn't 20 anymore. She doesn't have the body she used to have. So? She's still awesome

She's self conscious about her body too, and she's a size 8. It doesn't matter. You can't control what other people like and don't like. As another poster said, if someone is watching its because they like what they see. That should be an ego rush, not something you should feel self conscious about. Don't worry, be happy, and relax about your body

I'm sure there'll be plenty of people who find you hot as heck.

jjtrindc · 08-15-2008, 06:38 PM

I put this in another forum, but I think worth repeating...

My wife has a funny motto that she developed to help her overcome self-esteem issues. We call it the 50 percent rule. When we go to a club or a resort like Desire, she walks in saying, she'll be better looking than 50 percent of the women and the other 50 percent will be better looking than her. (Course I think she ranks much higher lol). Allows her to take a "who cares" attitude. We go and have fun for us.

We've been to Desire and plenty of clubs. The range of personalities and body types is what you will find at any mall (except with less clothes!). I think we love people watching almost as much as playing!

So how do you get over it? Meet people. As soon as we started meeting people and clicking it didn't take long for my wife to realize just how much others found her sexually desirable. You'll find the same.

And what's interesting is that the more confident you become the more attracted others will become to you. Now go have fun!

realcplub2 · 08-16-2008, 01:45 AM

Ok.. Let me first start off by saying... WAY TO GO, MRS jjtrindc!!

Now to respond directly to LoveUbye..

to the Human race..

But more importantly, When you go to your first club, the secret will be OUT..

We of this lifestyle are of ALL SHAPES and SIZES!! So, lets just say this, Where ever you go, whatever you do.. be concerned with the more important thing...

HAVING FUN!!

Pepper & Drew · 08-16-2008, 07:01 AM

I'll agree that you don't have to ever get comfortable with people watching you. I'm not, and have never been. I always say that I don't do free, live, nude shows. I'd have to charge $2.99 per minute, or $39.99 per month for that kinda thing.

Go, and do what you're comfortable with. This isn't a test. You don't have to practice.

Pepper

**lustylearning** · 08-16-2008, 08:05 AM

loveubye (cute name, btw), when you go to the club, you will have the opportunity, at least at some point, to be a watcher yourself and examine your own internal reactions to others. will you find yourself saying, "damn, she's jiggly," or "oh my god, she's sexy"? it's easier to feel good about the beauty in you, when you can see the beauty in others.

jdavisauto · 08-16-2008, 08:22 AM

Sounds like you are a real woman to me. Hell I'm 46 and things are not where they used to be but they still work (some what). Don't worry about what people will think. This lifestyle don't judge anyone. Hell if you get off by standing in a bucket of chocolate pudding singing I'm a little tea pot pulling on your tits in tune with the song. We will still accept you and hell will even join you in the chocolate pudding for a bite! LOL. Don't worry about it. Just come on out to a club of your choice, have a few drinks and have fun.

PS. Don't tell anyone but if you do like standing in chocolate pudding singing. Can I join you? It will be our little secret.

tribbles · 08-16-2008, 01:42 PM

If you go to a club and people act like it's not ok....get the heck out of there and don't support that club. (We just did that at one!)

Find one that is good with normal people out to have a good time and accept all our body differences. There are more of the kind with acceptance than not so go have fun!

**cplnuswing** · 08-16-2008, 04:36 PM

Just to add to the chorus, everyone is different and has their own preferences. Too, it is quite possible to swing and nobody ever see anything other than your playmates. Just do what's comfortable - if you don't want an audience, then don't. If that turns you on and you do want an audience, the one's who become part of the audience certainly like what they see or they wouldn't be watching.

Swingers come in all ages, shapes, sizes, colors, etc, etc. If there is one constant though, most are very nonjudgmental. If you end up not being their type, they won't think less of you just because you weren't their type. It's really no different than if you're brunette and they prefer blonds, you're short and they like tall, or whatever.

Just get out there and have fun. It won't take long to put your mind at ease when you see there are plenty who will want to get to know you better

bbarnsworth · 08-18-2008, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jdavisauto

Hell if you get off by standing in a bucket of chocolate pudding singing I'm a little tea pot pulling on your tits in tune with the song.

That's an hysterical visual!!!

Thrax · 08-18-2008, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pepper & Drew

I'll agree that you don't have to ever get comfortable with people watching you. I'm not, and have never been. I always say that I don't do free, live, nude shows. I'd have to charge $2.99 per minute, or $39.99 per month for that kinda thing.

Pepper

Please send me subscription information.

Thrax

LoveUbye · 08-18-2008, 01:30 PM

Thanks for the input. The reason I want to go to a "room with a view" is so that I will get over my fear of having people watch. I don't want to bring another couple into the room with us first and freeze like a popsicle and not be able to move. Guess it is time to take the plunge and just go to a club. I wonder how long it will take me to get the courage to walk in the door once we are in the parking lot???? HMMMM

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08-15-2008, 03:49 PM	#1 (permalink)
LoveUbye Here to Stay Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 10 Location: Here and Now Status: M.Female	How do you get over the "Jiggles" Hi All, Mr Love and I are new to the lifestyle and have not done anything yet. We are looking for same room sex only to start and then move from there. We have been discussing going to clubs and getting the feel for everything and then going to a private room. From there we will graduate to a "room with a view" until I am comfortable with having people watch. My fear is that while we are doing the room with a view people will see things (butt and thighs) move to their own beat and people will be repulsed by this. I am not a large woman (size 14 or 15 depending), but I have had 2 kids so things are not where they used to be. I know a lot of women in the lifestyle are built like me. So my question would be how did you get over it? Thanks for the help!

08-15-2008, 04:07 PM	#2 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 24,502 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 75	Re: How do you get over the "Jiggles" It's important to understand that not everyone is attracted to all things. Some will walk by a window with a certain body type playing inside and keep on walking, others will see that same body type and stop and watch and enjoy. That's what you have to remember, those who enjoy will stop and watch, those who don't will walk on by. If they don't like what they see, they don't have to look, touch, play. And there will be those who will enjoy what you have to offer.

08-15-2008, 04:21 PM	#3 (permalink)
fun4Ds Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 4,018 Location: Indiana. Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:mrmrsfun Blog Entries: 16	Re: How do you get over the "Jiggles" LoveUbye, You know, you don't have to graduate to people watching. I know many of people who aren't into that.They prefer privacy. At least its not in the brochure we got Like us for instance. The only people who have seen us are either the people we are swapping with, each other, or someone who ran out of energy first in a group setting. I think thats our comfort level, its people we are more than strangers with, that we don't mind staring at us butt naked . Honestly, as far as watching someone els. The greatest, most awesome people we watched to this day. Is a couple that were so into each other..... they never even knew anyone was around. Truly amazing. Actually, they were husband and wife...... Then we also know a few who really want to give one hell of show. Is that why you think of this a a graduation or the next level ? Is it more on the lines of a personal accomplishment that you hope to overcome ? __________________ well... at least we are normal pervs

08-15-2008, 04:36 PM	#4 (permalink)
BiloxiCouple I wish I may Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 3,302 Location: Biloxi, Mississippi Status: Couple with benefits Swing Lifestyle Name:graceful	Re: How do you get over the "Jiggles" All those little things you are worried about with your body are the facts of life and sometimes what has kept us alive. With recent open heart surgey I am learning how to deal with the scars of life. I use the therapy pool at my gym and it's funny to see the parents get their kids out of that pool pretty quick when I show up and take them to the pool that they should be in. __________________ A great pleasure in life is doing what others say you can't.

08-15-2008, 04:38 PM	#5 (permalink)
bbarnsworth Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 627 Location: South Central Indiana Status: Couple	Re: How do you get over the "Jiggles" Echoing fun4Ds first; you don't have to graduate to others watching if you don't want to. It's whatever YOU want to do (and those you're swinging with agree to). Ok, so you've had two kids. How come you haven't hired three personal trainers and a dietitian to put your body back in the shape it's supposed to be? I'll answer for you Because you're like the rest of us; you've a life and a non-millionaire budget to blow. It's ok. Really. My wife isn't 20 anymore. She doesn't have the body she used to have. So? She's still awesome She's self conscious about her body too, and she's a size 8. It doesn't matter. You can't control what other people like and don't like. As another poster said, if someone is watching its because they like what they see. That should be an ego rush, not something you should feel self conscious about. Don't worry, be happy, and relax about your body I'm sure there'll be plenty of people who find you hot as heck.

08-15-2008, 06:38 PM	#6 (permalink)
jjtrindc Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 215 Location: Washington DC/NoVA Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:jjtrindc Blog Entries: 1	Re: How do you get over the "Jiggles" I put this in another forum, but I think worth repeating... My wife has a funny motto that she developed to help her overcome self-esteem issues. We call it the 50 percent rule. When we go to a club or a resort like Desire, she walks in saying, she'll be better looking than 50 percent of the women and the other 50 percent will be better looking than her. (Course I think she ranks much higher lol). Allows her to take a "who cares" attitude. We go and have fun for us. We've been to Desire and plenty of clubs. The range of personalities and body types is what you will find at any mall (except with less clothes!). I think we love people watching almost as much as playing! So how do you get over it? Meet people. As soon as we started meeting people and clicking it didn't take long for my wife to realize just how much others found her sexually desirable. You'll find the same. And what's interesting is that the more confident you become the more attracted others will become to you. Now go have fun! __________________ Get nekkid with us at Desire Cancun May 9-16! In DC? We’re JJTRINDC on Swing Lifestyle and LL

08-16-2008, 01:45 AM	#7 (permalink)
realcplub2 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 521 Location: North Central Florida Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:putnamcocpl Blog Entries: 17	Re: How do you get over the "Jiggles" Ok.. Let me first start off by saying... WAY TO GO, MRS jjtrindc!! Now to respond directly to LoveUbye.. to the Human race.. But more importantly, When you go to your first club, the secret will be OUT.. We of this lifestyle are of ALL SHAPES and SIZES!! So, lets just say this, Where ever you go, whatever you do.. be concerned with the more important thing... HAVING FUN!!

08-16-2008, 07:01 AM	#8 (permalink)
Pepper & Drew Mmmmm...tasty! Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 1,035 Location: Hurricane Alley Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:alhedonists	Re: How do you get over the "Jiggles" I'll agree that you don't have to ever get comfortable with people watching you. I'm not, and have never been. I always say that I don't do free, live, nude shows. I'd have to charge $2.99 per minute, or $39.99 per month for that kinda thing. Go, and do what you're comfortable with. This isn't a test. You don't have to practice. Pepper __________________ "Swinging is a lot like riding a Harley, ...for those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those who don't, no explanation is possible." --Mr. Alura

08-16-2008, 08:05 AM	#9 (permalink)
lustylearning Julie's Helper Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 602 Location: Virginia Status: female half Blog Entries: 1	Re: How do you get over the "Jiggles" loveubye (cute name, btw), when you go to the club, you will have the opportunity, at least at some point, to be a watcher yourself and examine your own internal reactions to others. will you find yourself saying, "damn, she's jiggly," or "oh my god, she's sexy"? it's easier to feel good about the beauty in you, when you can see the beauty in others.

08-16-2008, 08:22 AM	#10 (permalink)
jdavisauto Together we are one Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 391 Location: Las Vegas Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:jdavisauto	Re: How do you get over the "Jiggles" Sounds like you are a real woman to me. Hell I'm 46 and things are not where they used to be but they still work (some what). Don't worry about what people will think. This lifestyle don't judge anyone. Hell if you get off by standing in a bucket of chocolate pudding singing I'm a little tea pot pulling on your tits in tune with the song. We will still accept you and hell will even join you in the chocolate pudding for a bite! LOL. Don't worry about it. Just come on out to a club of your choice, have a few drinks and have fun. PS. Don't tell anyone but if you do like standing in chocolate pudding singing. Can I join you? It will be our little secret. __________________ Stop laughing or I WILL put my clothes back on.

08-16-2008, 01:42 PM	#11 (permalink)
tribbles Fun and Pleasure Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 889 Location: SouthWest Status: Couple	Re: How do you get over the "Jiggles" If you go to a club and people act like it's not ok....get the heck out of there and don't support that club. (We just did that at one!) Find one that is good with normal people out to have a good time and accept all our body differences. There are more of the kind with acceptance than not so go have fun! __________________ Evel Knievel died of natural causes.

08-16-2008, 04:36 PM	#12 (permalink)
cplnuswing Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 757 Location: Georgia Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:gawildstreak Blog Entries: 1	Re: How do you get over the "Jiggles" Just to add to the chorus, everyone is different and has their own preferences. Too, it is quite possible to swing and nobody ever see anything other than your playmates. Just do what's comfortable - if you don't want an audience, then don't. If that turns you on and you do want an audience, the one's who become part of the audience certainly like what they see or they wouldn't be watching. Swingers come in all ages, shapes, sizes, colors, etc, etc. If there is one constant though, most are very nonjudgmental. If you end up not being their type, they won't think less of you just because you weren't their type. It's really no different than if you're brunette and they prefer blonds, you're short and they like tall, or whatever. Just get out there and have fun. It won't take long to put your mind at ease when you see there are plenty who will want to get to know you better

08-18-2008, 01:30 PM	#15 (permalink)
LoveUbye Here to Stay Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 10 Location: Here and Now Status: M.Female	Re: How do you get over the "Jiggles" Thanks for the input. The reason I want to go to a "room with a view" is so that I will get over my fear of having people watch. I don't want to bring another couple into the room with us first and freeze like a popsicle and not be able to move. Guess it is time to take the plunge and just go to a club. I wonder how long it will take me to get the courage to walk in the door once we are in the parking lot???? HMMMM

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