SO many questions from Central FL...

[Veryfirsttime]

Hi everyone. First off, let me say how impressed I am with this message board. Not only is everyone so helpful and friendly (maybe the friendly part shouldn't be so surprising, ) but also very well spoken and articulate. You just don't see that on all message boards about any subject. You seem like a great bunch of people!

To give you a little history, we've been married for over 15 years. I'm 34, he's 35. We are attractive and fit. We have a great marriage and a wonderful sex life. We've shared a fantasy about being with another woman for many years and to be honest, I'm not sure why we haven't done more with the idea since it turns us both on so much. I guess life just gets in the way and I think it took a while to feel like there really wasn't something "bad" about wanting it. Oh, the baggage from our religious upbringing!

We were overseas a couple of weeks ago and went to a nightclub where some girls were dancing together and kissing. Oh my gosh, it drove us both crazy. That is what has finally spurred us on. I could kick myself now for not trying to be a little more outgoing that night even though I know it may not have lead to anything. We are determined to do something about our feelings this weekend because the timing works out well for us (kids at Grandma's) and we are too excited to think about anything else!

That leads me to our first question. If anyone is familiar with clubs in FL, we live in Central FL and can drive to Tampa, Orlando, and anywhere else around the center of the state. I've read a lot about clubs on the internet but it's hard to know what is hype and what is true. I would love to find a club (on or off premise I suppose) that has a large number of youngish (our age) people, in a classy atmosphere. It seems like Saturday is more popular, but we would love to find something on Friday too if there is something exciting going on. I don't want to seem like we are jumping in too fast and are too excited but like I said the kids are gone!

Next, I know from reading that single bi females are not exactly going to be lined up around the wall waiting for us. I would be open to a couple as long as intercourse wasn't involved with me and the other man. I would however, LOVE to see dh have sex with the other woman. I most definitely want to be involved with her too. Dh isn't sure how he feels about another guy being involved at all. Of course I would imagine that scenario might seem unfair to the other guy anyhow. Or is this a fairly common scenario? I realize that I'm probably jumping the gun with all of this anyhow since nothing at all has happened yet, but I want to make sure we have communicated and understand how the other one feels. Any thoughts or advice?

We would also love to meet a woman locally and I did put up an ad on SLS. I have to download a picture, though. As I read some of your posts, I'm amazed at how many of you have had experiences with people that you know or have known in the past. We've wanted to do this for so long and have never had a clue about how to find out if a friend or acquaintance was interested!

I certainly didn't think that you were all three-headed or anything, but it's really neat to read your posts and realize that you are all so normal and nice. It makes dh and I wonder who we know that swings!

Any other thoughts or advice is appreciated!

[two42lovers]

It is unrealistic to think you will find a solo female to play with this weekend - you might, but it's the longest of long shots.

You will have just as difficult a time finding a couple this weekend who is up for your husband having intercourse with their female-half, but the male-half doesn't get to have intercourse with you. Many couples would see that offer as selfish. Why should they?

You might find a couple willing to separate and let only the female-half play with the two of you, but since you are asking them to do something you would NOT do, you can see how it will be difficult. Most couples want to play together. Just asking is going to get you a lot of funny looks (to say the least.)

[SandJinVT]

My advice?

1. it isn't going to happen right away, so be prepared to be patient and wait it out. Don't let frustration show in your profile, or in your attitude. Remember, that what is the best in life is worth waiting for.

2. Most couples will turn down your idea of playing with the wife and excluding the husband. Search for couples who state in their profiles that they play separately also (there are some out there). Contact those couples first, keeping in mind that the other hubby may show up at the initial meeting.

3. When you DO find that single woman, or the female of a couple to play, make sure you talk at length about what you are expecting out of the encounter. More disappointments occur because the talk doesn't preceed the sex.

Good luck with your search!

[good times]

The other posters have covered the problems you will have finding someone pretty good.

The only thing I would ad is that, while you do in fact need to discuss it and set ground rules for what is acceptable for both of you, keep in mind that after your first club visit, and your first few encounter with others, you will have to revisit and revise them as you learn what you are comfortable with and what you are not.

As far as your expectations for your weekend away from the kids goes, I fear from what you have said here that you may be expecting to much. The general rule is, "always go to the club expecting nothing to happen, but be prepared to have fun, and open to something happening if the opportunity presents itself". If on the other hand you go to the club expecting something to happen, you are almost guaranteed to go home disappointed.

Their are a few reasons for that. First, at an average night at the club, less than half the people their will find someone they are compatible with and hook up for play. Second, it is obvious when someone shows up to the club bound and determined to hook up with someone, they appear to others as desperate, which is a major turn-off to most. We see this often because we are in a tourist town. A couple will show up at the club which has been planning their trip for months, they are so desperate to get someone to play with them because they will only be in town for a couple of days, that everyone avoids them like they have the plague.

The fact is, if you react like most folks do, your first time to a club will be such an exciting and possibly nerve racked experience, that you will be so busy taking it all in you probably won't get around to hooking up with anyone anyway. Don't be disappointed by this, just go, take it all in and have fun.

[cplnuswing]

I won't add to the other posters, since they have been right on the money with their advice.

Regarding your comment about wondering if you know somebody who swings, you probably do! But, since most are very discrete about it, you wouldn't know it.

You will probably have a lot more of those "hey, they're just like us!" moments as you meet more people. The swinging population is a reflection of the population as a whole, so obviously all aren't going to be exactly alike (how boring that would be!), but you will find that contrary to popular belief, most of us are just "normal" people that like to have fun.

If you haven't already, check the club reviews section of the board for reviews of clubs in your area, and once you settle on a club, search the board for old threads discussing that club or better yet start one of your own.

Good luck and have fun

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Veryfirsttime

Next, I know from reading that single bi females are not exactly going to be lined up around the wall waiting for us. I would be open to a couple as long as intercourse wasn't involved with me and the other man. I would however, LOVE to see dh have sex with the other woman. I most definitely want to be involved with her too. Dh isn't sure how he feels about another guy being involved at all. Of course I would imagine that scenario might seem unfair to the other guy anyhow. Or is this a fairly common scenario? I realize that I'm probably jumping the gun with all of this anyhow since nothing at all has happened yet, but I want to make sure we have communicated and understand how the other one feels. Any thoughts or advice?

You'll be more likely to find another couple who is also looking for the same thing you are. If you can approach it in a way where the only cross-couple play is girl/girl and the guys only play with their own wives you will probably have some success in finding couples to play with at the clubs you go to. Going in with the idea that you want both of you to play with a girl and the guy to just sit on the sidelines is very unfair to the other guy (put yourselves in his position and think about how you would feel about it). That said, there are couples out there where only the female plays and the guy just watches and if you can find a couple like that, all the better - but I wouldn't expect to do so. When you do go to the clubs, just be honest with those you meet about exactly what you are wanting to happen and what your limits are.

I would suggest that before you go to FL that you go onto SLS and change your zip code to show the zip code of the area you will be visiting and put a note in your profile about what club (and on what date) you will be visiting. This may invite some contact from couples in that area, as well as give you the opportunity to more easily contact couples in that area that might be good matches for you.

[Veryfirsttime]

Thanks so much for the replies!

I am totally with you guys. I know that it wouldn't be fair to ask for my guy to be able to play while the other only watches. Like JustAskJulie said, I would be very interested in the scenario that she is suggesting where the girls play and the guys only play with their wives. I'm suggesting to dh that he might want to be open minded about maybe doing something like that and hoping he will be. It might not be our absolute ideal thing but I think it would still be great and very exciting.

We already do live in Florida, Julie, but in a very small town so to get anywhere we have to drive about 2 hours. Once we decide where we are going, that would be a good idea to change our zip to that area. I'm worried about picking a bad place since I really don't know anything the clubs.

Thanks,

Jen

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Veryfirsttime

We already do live in Florida, Julie, but in a very small town so to get anywhere we have to drive about 2 hours. Once we decide where we are going, that would be a good idea to change our zip to that area. I'm worried about picking a bad place since I really don't know anything the clubs.

Thanks,

Jen

Check out the club reviews here and also do a search in the the clubs forums for Florida and you'll get some good feedback on some of the clubs you may come across.

http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...info-requests/
Swinging at Clubs/Parties/Resorts - The Swingers Board

[Trace Ekies]

Hello and welcome.

The Mrs. and I live in Central Florida and have frequented a couple of the clubs in the Orlando area and one in the Tampa area.

In Orlando you have The House which is just what it says. A nice house well out in the boonies that caters to swingers on Friday and Saturday nights. We've been there a number of times and had a great time every time. The other location is Club Tastebuds in South Orlando. Again, we've had a great time every time. Tastebuds in not an on-premise club but it is in a hotel so finding space to get freaky is easy.

Tampa offers several but the only one we've been to is not a swingers club but rather a nudist resort that has a population of swingers. I'd avoid this place for your initial visits to swinger clubs.

The key to any place of this sort is what you make of it. Go in with no expectations, make it a point to introduce yourselves to as many people as you can and have a blast. During your conversations be sure and tell people that you would like to have a MFF threesome but that you aren't ready to full swap with the husband. Be polite and have some regard for the other man's feelings and you'll do okay. I would not be a bit offended if I were asked this question...I may say no, but I wouldn't be upset.

Another good way to meet people is to go to Aahz Parties...we go regularly and have enjoyed ourselves a great deal. The next one in Orlando is on August 16th I believe. Go to playfulswingersdotcom for more info. We've needed days afterwards to recover.

Also, there's a party in Sanford this weekend hosted by a friend and his wife. The info can be found at the site I mentioned in the previous paragraph.

With all of that said, just remember that patience is a virtue. Sometimes these things work out like clockwork and sometimes there's a bit of dating involved. Either way, the realization of a fantasy or fantasies lies at the end of each new relationship that develops. And you may, like us, find some friends that you'll be spending time with for years to come.

Good luck and feel free to contact me for more detailed info via Julie's private messenging system if you like.

Trace