I'm excited, wife isn't

[Wildboar]

Any advice for a new member from SW Michigan? We've been happily married for years with great sex. I am interested in swinging, but she is not. How should I easy into the swinging idea ?

[VegasLee]

Welcome to the Swingers Board.

First off, until and IF she ever warms up to the idea you have no place to go at all, easy or otherwise.

When married swinging is about both of you. Something to remember is that MOST people do not want to swing and there is nothing wrong with that. Many men and women are perfectly happy being with the same sexual partner the rest of their life without every venturing outside of that relationship. Also, very, very few people have a relationship that can withstand the Swinging Lifestyle.

You can talk to her about it at times but if she continues to show no interest or says no, it is just that, NO. Nothing wrong with her, just how she is and since she is your wife you will have to happily live with it if you desire to keep her as your wife. Swinging is NOT worth wrecking your relationship for. The grass is not greener in this other world.

Don't dwell on it. Read the forums here, get the lay of the land. Talk to her about it, invite her to read the forums if she has the desire. If she does not want to, go on with life and enjoy something you two can do together that makes you BOTH happy.

[2insandiego4u]

VegasLee is giving you some very good advice. Do you know what your wife's fantasies are? A good way to approach it might be to find out what her fantasies are and plant a seed in her mind related to her fantasies. This might take a while to give results, but it can very powerful and might sway her. Good luck!

[tribbles]

Wildboar,

Is there any way she could ease you into the idea of you and another guy? I do mean gay sex. She gets to watch you be taken by another man.

Exactly how does a wife get a husband to go along with that?

If you are cringing, then you might have a clue.


Try to find a way to put yourself in her shoes and understand what you are asking of her.

[Wildboar]

Thank you for your advise. I'll be patient. She is a great women and I'd like to share her beauty.

[jjtrindc]

Agreed that VegasLee has given you great advice. One suggestion would be an "off-premise" club where nothing can happen. That is how we first started when we just weren't sure about the lifestyle. We found the off-premise club was just an upscale dance club with a really sexy vibe. It allowed us to really be into each other in a no-pressure atmosphere. We also discovered that the lifestyle really wasn't that "threatening". Everyone was nice, fun and for the most part respectful. We did that for some time before moving on to other things. Be honest with your wife about where you are going and if after that she still isn't interested then be happy that you have a great sex life and a good marriage!

[realcplub2]

Welcome,

I would suggest you spend a bit of time looking over the basic thread on the boards, and I am sure within the past month or two you will find the same sort of question with tons of replies to the question..

[herpob]

Originally Posted by realcplub2

Welcome,

I would suggest you spend a bit of time looking over the basic thread on the boards, and I am sure within the past month or two you will find the same sort of question with tons of replies to the question..

Good advice here follow it -

[herpob]

I must ask this - why?

Why exactly do you want to swing?

Is your wife not enough?


We didn’t swing for the longest time but when we did it was mutual timing.


Have you experienced all you can as a monogamous couple?


As I suggested above listen to the people here.


I am however going to give you another option.

Take a long slow loving caring and careful journey with your wife.

Pay attention to her responses and learn from her, keep it slow and be ready to retreat when necessary.

When I met my husband and we began dating we were completely monogamous and for quite some time. We have done most everything a couple could do without other people being involved. I highly recommend exploring everything you could possibly do in a monogamous relationship – FIRST! Explore, experiment, teach and learn from one another. Draw out her fantasies. My husband did a great job doing this and still does. We role played a ton, played out fantasies, even some kinky master/slave stuff where he got to have some serious fun making me do stuff I normally wouldn’t and vise versa (hee hee that is why I let him go first). I am much kinkier than him and I had him do stuff I always wanted to see him do that he would probably never had done without the role play.

Do all you can orally, with fingers and hands, with all the body parts you can. Add toys all sorts of toys, lots of these - dual toys, double toys, and walls toys, then slings, swings, padding, and wedges. Introduce nice life like dolls (yes it is quite an investment but sooooooo worth it). Step up to incredible machines that will pound the day lights out of her (and you if you are brave enough). Machines she can ride and rock till the cows come home.

My husband and I had many a role play with partners, laying over the guy doll in my V and my husband dual entering or doing me anally, we used toys for this as well, and of course strap ons, where my husband did me with his penis and a strap on, just like multiple partners. I’ve had him cum in me 5 times as quickly as manageable in different rooms, different clothes, etc. simulating different men; I’ve sucked him many different ways with the same idea in mind like many men. We did so much as couple it was fairly easy to make the transition to him watching me suck off several of our male friends in front of him. And I was so good at handling the machines in both holes an occasionally dual vaginal that it was not to hard to handle two men once we worked out the positioning and balance.

As I mentioned we played with each other A LOT exploring the boundaries of what WE could do. Then it was sort of a natural transition into swinging. But it didn’t happen over night it took a lot of time, work, effort, and energy. Even with our experience it was still strange the first time I saw him doing another woman, and for him it was when the first a man ate me out and also the first time one did me anally.

So take your time, take it sloooow, and realize it may never happen (swinging) but the journey will be a BLAST!