Any calming advise?

[MN hotdish]

So we met this couple on SLS. We've hung out several times now & all 4 enjoy each other. They've been full swap for a couple of years & we've only experienced a couple FMF encounters. The other couple seems very understanding of our "newness" we've all discussed boundaries (we are only willing to do same room) They have said repetedly that they are comfortable with how fast or slow we take things...All good, right?
We are planning on spending the evening with them on Saturday & I'm really excited!...BUT I'm also afraid that I'll loose my nerve.
Anyone have any advise for calming the "1st play date jitters"? I know that if I "chicken out" I'll regret it. These 2 are definately the perfect "starter" couple for us.

[bryanlee]

Unless you have some specific reason to be concerned that you did not mention, just relax and don't over think the whole thing. It is very easy to get caught up in the "what if" line of thinking. This can quickly overtake any rational thinking.

If you find yourself being overcome by these feelings just take a step back, take some breaths and just enjoy yourself. Things will happen as they happen. The mind can have a way of thinking the worst at times if you allow it to run wild.

Just concentrate on having a good time and enjoying the moment. There is nothing wrong with saying you aren't comfortable, but don't needlessly worry yourself out of what might have been a great and memorable night.

Hope that helps.

Bryan & Sharon

[JustAskJulie]

Just remember that you don't HAVE to do anything. As long as you keep that in mind there is really nothing to worry about. If you don't "go all the way" this weekend, is there really a loss? If they are likely to walk away if you don't then you really didn't lose anything at all. Your best bet is to just relax and plan on getting together with them with a whatever happens happens attitude.

[2insandiego4u]

Just take it slow and go with the flow. Maybe let the ladies make out first while the men watch. Just don't force it, we have in the past and regretted it! Good luck.

[realcplub2]

If you want to do it... Start out by doing something fun.. Party games, or get your nerve up with some strip poker/black jack

Besides ya never know, they might be lousy at either game..lol

[socolais]

I think I know how you feel, I recognise your thoughts and it took me several encounters before I could relax and truely enjoy myself. If I had known then what I know now, I'd have started the first encounter with a comfortable massage session and just let things happen as everyone felt comfortable with it.

[Alura]

Socolais is right, in my opinion. A massage done with soft music should calm the nerves. If only one person is nervous, the other three can all massage at the same time.

We once had a couple calm us down with a game they called "Rain." The massagee laid on her stomach, nude, and the other three touched her lightly while she imagined the touches to be soft warm rain. The other husband did a narration to stimulate her imagination of the rain. Then it was my turn. It worked!

Good luck! Sounds like fun!

Mr. Alura

[fun4Ds]

Everyone has some really good advice, wouldn't ya say. I know being around any of the posters above would certainly settle my nerves

I think back to some of the thoughts I had, and I just knew that no matter what happened. I promised myself, I would take a few days to think about anything I experienced or felt.

I new I was ready to take the next step or two or three as they came along. But I just comforted myself with the fact that I could..... look back at those steps.

I didn't put so much into looking at things except in an enjoyable way, while the evening progressed. Things turned out needing looked back on though. Because I missed many of the good things. But like I say, I had already given myself the right to look back.

Probably doesn't make allot of sence..... But thats kinda what I had going.

I hope you find your comfort, Its there

[tittietwister]

In the better living through chemistry department, two capsules of lemon balm and one capsule of L-Theanine will reduce anxiety. Both are available in quality health stores.

Eating and drinking lightly will also help. You don't want all your blood going to your stomach ;>

The couple you describe sounds perfect for where you are right now. Everything will be fine.

[MN hotdish]

Thanks so much! You all have great ideas & advise, reading your posts has put me back on the "this is going to be great!" train!

[funcpl4life]

MN,
Keep that positive self-talk going! When you start to have the golly-wobbles and what-ifs, don't figure out if it's something you should worry about or not. Just cut it off and think of 3 or 4 really good things. "Boy they're fun to hang out with." "I can't wait to see so and so's fuck-face." (or whatever blows your dress up) "Man will I be ready to bang hubby when this is all over."
I find that I am usually my own worst enemy and by cutting negative self-talk off, I am much more able to have a good time.
Your mileage may vary.
Mr FC4L (aka Cognitive Models R Us)

[arvcpl]

Well? How did it turn out?

[MN hotdish]

ARGH!!
I was all calmed down & ready to go... Then my husband got sick!
I still went over to their house & hung out for a while, & they were really cool & understanding. The good news is that this is still supposed to happen & I feel good about it. The bad news is that now I have "X" number of days to get all nervous again! OH well I'll just re-read all the helpful advise from you kind people!

[sweet_tna]

Originally Posted by MN hotdish

ARGH!!
I was all calmed down & ready to go... Then my husband got sick!
I still went over to their house & hung out for a while, & they were really cool & understanding. The good news is that this is still supposed to happen & I feel good about it. The bad news is that now I have "X" number of days to get all nervous again! OH well I'll just re-read all the helpful advise from you kind people!

Aw man! While that stinks, it's great that they're understanding and hopefully "X number of days" is enough time for your hubby to recuperate. In the meantime, just remember the things you like about them, and that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. And if you're feeling nervous that night, tell them. I'm sure they'll be more than willing to help you relax . . .

=)

[ktimephoenix]

Originally Posted by MN hotdish

ARGH!!
I was all calmed down & ready to go... Then my husband got sick!
I still went over to their house & hung out for a while, & they were really cool & understanding. The good news is that this is still supposed to happen & I feel good about it. The bad news is that now I have "X" number of days to get all nervous again! OH well I'll just re-read all the helpful advise from you kind people!

man i feel your pain. we were meeting up with a couple we met at a party a few weeks ago this weekend. it was our first "make a play date" situation. unfortunately, the F of the other couple... couldn't play for a good reason...

anyway, we had a ball hanging out with them, but i just know the anticipation next time'll kill me all over again