He opened the door...

[realcplub2]

Originally Posted by RedHeaded

Well, The reason I am here is mainly because my husband opened the door to swinging and I'm not sure how to take it.

We have been married for a few years and we were talking about our likes and dislikes as we try to learn more and more about each others desires and such, when he said that he has had a fantasy about me being with another man while he was there.

I'm not sure if he just wanted to watch or be active as we're still in the beginning stages of talking about it.

Anyway. he said he found this site and that it would probably be good for both of us to talk to people and see what is really out there.

So I made the account and we'll see what it's all about.

I've never really thought about anyone else but him since we've been together. He's been an amazing husband and lover. He's very supportive and has stood by me through thick and thin.

The only concern I have about this is more with his protective nature that is also a little possessive (as am I).

I found it odd considering that he was the one that mentioned swinging so it's put me in a unique position.

On the one hand there is that little bit of excitement and on the other there is the fear that it may backfire on our relationship.

I'm sure those fears are common. Anyone have any advice?

First allow me to Say Welcome.. And Praise you for your courage to post this, there are plenty ou there that find the boards, read them and never post a thing despite having a presice question burning within them.. so on that point CONGRATULATIONS..

Does the post LOVEOHIO sound like the fantasy your husband has or is it a true 3some?

Either way, Ambush him.. plan a quiet evening that starts when he gets home.. Make the evening wild.. greet him at the door with little or nothing on.... have a great dinner nude or nearly naked.. as a promise of whats to cum.. then once you head to the bedroom.. get him flat on his back, and tease him with his fantasy.. about doing this or that.. then pull out a plastic friend.. so you and he can expereince it together first..

And see how that goes..

Now then, if you have seen any of my posts, the biggest advice I ever give is to do the hardest things.. Go and TALK in a NON BED setting about this.. how you felt , how he feels..

Now one final point.. If this ISNT for you.. DON'T do ANYTHING .. Never allow yourself to be involved with ANYTHING just to please a partner..

[toycple]

Originally Posted by RedHeaded

Well, The reason I am here is mainly because my husband opened the door to swinging and I'm not sure how to take it.

We have been married for a few years and we were talking about our likes and dislikes as we try to learn more and more about each others desires and such, when he said that he has had a fantasy about me being with another man while he was there.
I'm not sure if he just wanted to watch or be active as we're still in the beginning stages of talking about it.
Anyway. he said he found this site and that it would probably be good for both of us to talk to people and see what is really out there.
So I made the account and we'll see what it's all about.

I've never really thought about anyone else but him since we've been together. He's been an amazing husband and lover. He's very supportive and has stood by me through thick and thin.
The only concern I have about this is more with his protective nature that is also a little possessive (as am I).
I found it odd considering that he was the one that mentioned swinging so it's put me in a unique position.
On the one hand there is that little bit of excitement and on the other there is the fear that it may backfire on our relationship.
I'm sure those fears are common. Anyone have any advice?

First let me say welcome. I agree with several others here that research is the key. If you know for sure that your relationship can stand up to anything no matter what, then you are probably strong enough to navigate swinging. Just remember this can be something pleasurable for both of you. If you decide this something you want to approach together I suggest you set some "rules". A list of things that is and isn't ok, it helps create a level of comfort when going into a new world of intimacy. If you approach it as a team, that this is something for both of you, then if can work. You have the potential to open yourselves up to a whole new level of experiences and pleasurable fun to sharre together.

[rudrjunk]

Hi,

First of all - Welcome to the board.

We have been members of this board for quite a long time. Well let me come out with the truth. I have been a member of the board for quite some time. Most of the time I spend is lurking and reading on the posts.

We have been married for close to 18 years with 4 years of dating. So all in all, we know each other for like 22 years and we are only 39 years old.

We have never, I repeat, never dated anyone else nor had any sexual encounters with anyone except each other. So I introduced her to swinging during my first married month. And that was my biggest mistake. I ended up having no sex for one month.

Then I never spoke of it till like 4 years ago. This time, she atleast listened to me and we spoke of it on and off. In fact we even ended up going for a date with another couple, but it never went beyond chatting. Mainly, because, we did not know what to expect.

That's when we figured out, that this lifestyle is not for everyone. So being the man that I am, I started reading up on the lifestyle and also brought books back home to understand the emotional and sentimental feelings that married couples go thru.

So RESEARCH is the key to enjoying any type of lifestyle, whether it is an erotic or non-erotic lifestyle.

Since the past 2 years, I keep telling her of my fantasies, and she joins me in my verbal fantasies, even playing the part sometimes, and man we rock. We even started visiting some clubs around our area. We sit and talk a bit with the other couples, but have not yet taken the step of even a soft swap. It takes a lot of courage to see your better half being touched by someone else and enjoy it without a tinge of negative feeling. And we are not up to it at present.

Based on my experience(s), I think that a lot of men fantasize similarly and as others have pointed out, the fantasy, may never turn into reality. The best way to approach the lifestyle is to research, talk to others (like this forum), create ground rules and most of all, be honest with each other.

Cheers!!!