My Boyfriend wants a threesome

My boyfriend of 7 years has been after me for a long time to have a threesome with another woman. I am not closed to the idea, as he knows I have kissed some girlfriends and even had other women touch my breast I have done the same. This is his biggest fantasy and I would really like to fill it for him but I am not sure if I could handle him penetrating another woman right in front of me. He told me that he would just really love to see me with another woman and he would join in maybe. I told him of my fears and he said that he loves me and is totally and fully attracted to me. That doing this would not make him love me less or feel less attracted to me. He told me that if we do it and I would not feel comfortable in doing it again we wouldn't do it. I have always viewed sex as a very personnal thing shared between two people. What can I do to make it a pleasurable experience for him but to not have my emotions go all over the place when it is over?

[VegasLee]

If you do if for HIM it is not going to be pleasurable for you and in the long run not for him, you will get even. Just how life is.

You should ONLY do this if it is something that YOU want to do for YOU with him there. If you are only comfortable with him watching, then that has to be told to him. You play, he watches, if he can not live with that then don't even think about doing it. You don't want to watch him with another women, you have made that clear. Don't back down or you both will regret it.

These are not kids games. You are playing in the adult world. Be sure all involved are acting like adults. It really is that simple.

By reading your post this is not really something you want to do, you are trying to make him happy. That NEVER works in the long run.

If he loves and respects you then he should listen to you and respect what you are telling him.

Good luck to you with the choices that YOU make.

[Chris&Amelia]

[iapr]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

What can I do to make it a pleasurable experience for him but to not have my emotions go all over the place when it is over?

I have news for ya. this type of experience makes the emotions go all over the place. Adding the dimension of other people into your bed IS a very emotional experience. There isn't anything you can do to make it a less emotional experience and if you really think about it, do you really want it to be a cold detached experience devoid of emotion?

For healthy and happy couples with a rock solid relationship and and a super strong foundation of trust and open communication that emotional charge can be a very benificial thing. For someone that is not on rock solid foundation it will cause things to come crumbling down very fast.

The fact that you have been together for 7 years but are still just boyfriend and girlfriend makes me question the strength and commitment of your relationship.

I agree with VegasLee in that if you are to go down this road it has to be something that both of you want and both of you are in on together. If you are just doing this to appease him you will end up very disappointed and bitter. The fact that you state your beliefs are that sex should be between only two people is not a good foundation to be looking into this type of situation.

[ownerspet]

I agree with Vegas Lee and Chris&Ameila

[fun4Ds]

I hope you register and add more to the conversation.

I couldn't imagine having this conversation with Mrs.fun and not having many things to talk about. There is no way of dealing with something personal like this without lots of talking. I think that is how we have dealt with emotions not going haywire after we have had any experiences.

What do you hope to get out of this for yourself ?

I understand about wanting to give your partner something like a fantasy of FMF, we do that also. But, its a give and receive thing. It just works for us when we feel like one partner isn't doing all the giving. I can imagine where that would go in a relationship not even involving sex with others.

Do you feel an attraction toward women, without it being a show for a man involved ?

Has the question been brought up about your partner giving you the freedom to explore any fantasy of yours ?

Do you have a woman that would be interested in doing this with both of you ?

I can understand you saying "I have always viewed sex as a very personnal thing shared between two people." Lets face it, this is about not only you two.. but you are involving a third person.

What are your personal feelings toward this possible extra woman ? She is going to have personal feelings also.

See what I mean, there is more to this than meets the fantasy eye.

I hope you do register and talk about this more. There are no answers to how to keep everything in check without communicating. The Swingers Board is a great place to work on communication. Please, Join us

[JustAskJulie]

Everyone else has given great advice to you already on making sure that you are doing this for you and not just for him.

I did want to add that you CAN have a 3some with another woman without him having sex with her. If you both agree that this is something you want to do, you just have to set the boundaries to what will make you both happy. If he wants to see yo with another woman and you are good with that, then go with that idea and if he decides he wants to join in that he can join in WITH YOU. There's no reason he ever has to do anything with her (if he is being honest that his main thing is seeing you with another woman). Present that idea to him and you will find out from his response whether or not he is really ok with it.