No sure if there is a place for me

[panchovilla]

I have never been to a swingers party or club but the idea really excites me. The only problem is that I am mostly a gay single male but I do enjoy women sometimes. I would say that I am a gay bisexual. I do enjoy watching men and woman together.

I am worried a person with my sexual tastes would not be welcomed. I'm I correct in this feeling or am I just being paranoid?

[rickmccool]

Well, I'm not the expert but based on my experiences I would say bi guys are not too welcome at the typical swinger party or especially at clubs. Even straight single guys seem to be discouraged at clubs. I've only been to a club once so like I said I'm not the expert. Seems to me swinging is a couples sport but if you are really bi there are quite a few mf couples out there with a bi male that are interested in another guy. I've had relationships with several couples like that, but I'm more poly than swinger.

Just so you know, I'm predominately hetero but I'll have to admit that when they passed out sexuality, I went through both lines.

[fun4Ds]

Welcome to the Swingers Board panchovilla,

I'll be the first to say, you are correct. Swinger parties and clubs are exciting. Your not the first bi male to encounter the lifestyle. However, most couples (not all ) but most we have encountered are out to swap partners with male/female couples. The female bisexuality is common but even then, not all females are bi. I would think the best thing to do in a swinger house party invitation is just be honest with the hosts at least, about your bisexuality first before attending. Its only fair to the hosts.

At a club you may want to talk openly with couples about the subject but I doubt its a plus for most couples. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I would rather you hear it before hand than to hear you complain its not fair later. It may not be fair, as I don't judge. I just think its fair to give my honest observation and opinion.

[VegasLee]

I would suggest that you either go to house parties that are known for bi males being there or be sure you go to a club that allows single men.

Over the years we have found hosting at a club that has lots of couples and some single there are a lot of couples that have bi men in them. It is not something they announce or make very public but believe me, they are there.

It is not just at our club either. We found many bi males at the "couples only" conventions in the last few years. It seems to be more and more as time goes on. Still not a real public thing and many people that go to clubs want to believe it is not happening but behind closed doors it is.

Best bet is to always be upfront with any couple or male you are talking to. Don't have to wear a flashing sign but don't wait until things get to a private room and surprise people, that is a good way to cause drama.

There are a couple clubs in AZ that allow singles. I would ease into them and check things out. Go with no expectations and that way you should have a good time.

[tribbles]

Sign up on Swing Lifestyle and look for openly bi males in a couple.....ASK them where it's safe to go and what the unspoken rules are.

There are a couple of parties in SoCal that openly accept bimales and for the rest it's hidden or banned.

[Dynamar]

Originally Posted by tribbles

Sign up on Swing Lifestyle and look for openly bi males in a couple...

If you sign up on one or two of the most popular sites in your area, and list yourself as bi-sexual, I can pretty much guarantee you that interested couples will find you! There's a lot more bi- or bi-curious guys out there than a lot of people think, but as VegasLee points out, most of them are in the closet.

Welcome to the board, and good luck to you.

[ncmd_couple]

Poncho,

As the other's have said, be open and honest. That is the key to this. Some won't be interested, some will. Good luck!!

S

[sweet_tna]

Hello, Panchovilla! While finding your place in the lifestyle may be a bit of a challenge, you're welcome here on the board.

http://bestsmileys.com/welcome/1.gif

=)

[JustAskJulie]

Poncho - to the board! As others have already pointed out, clubs are probably NOT the best route for you to go. Most are very NOT ok with bisexuality among males, let alone an mostly GAY single male. For that reason, most couples with bi-males stay in the closet unless they KNOW that those they are dealing with are ok with the male/male play.

The advice Tribbles gave you of signing up for Swing Lifestyle or a similar site as an openly BI male and seeking out couples with bi-men is probably the best route. Even if they aren't interested in you (or you them) they may be able to help direct you to house parties or events where you would be accepted.

[SnowwwWhite]

I think that given the fact that non-monogamous gay males are in the high-risk group for HIV, it's the honorable thing to alert any potential partner to your sexual identity and lifestyle choice in advance of any activity. Some people do not want to take the risk of sex with a gay male and you should be completely open from the beginning, otherwise it could be perceived as an intentional deception.... call it a lie of omission if you will.

If I was in your situation I'd go with craigslist or a personal ad as opposed to a party. That way you can spell it all out in writing and find the couples who are interested in what you specifically have to offer. Just swooping in to a swingers club or house party where your play partners probably have no idea you're gay really does not seem fair.

One of my personal fears in the lifestyle is a "deceptive" gay man finding a ticket so he can play with women in an effort to get access to straight men. But that's just me. Maybe there's a lot of male swingers out there who don't mind the idea of a gay man in the mix.