Any Men Whose Wives Refuse to Even Consider Swinging?

[spectraschain]

Yeah, dude's a dick, but makes a valid point here:

and a few who must comment on every single thing that's posted because they like to see their name up there and like the sound of their own voice.

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by spectraschain

Yeah, dude's a dick, but makes a valid point here:

[tryit2?]

OK, very interesting thread. Have not been on board for a while, so just getting caught up. While I think this guys cheating is indefensible, he DOES have a few valid points that need discussing rationally. What DOESa person do when one spouse is more sex driven than the other by a large margin? What if cheating is out of the question by your choice? What if swinging or open marriage out by the spouses choice? And your partner is your life mate, friend and love, and just dumping them and starting over with not even on the distant radar? Maybe this should be a starter for another thread, instead of adding to this one, but really, what does a person do?

[Trellken]

Originally Posted by tryit2?

OK, very interesting thread. Have not been on board for a while, so just getting caught up. While I think this guys cheating is indefensible, he DOES have a few valid points that need discussing rationally. What DOESa person do when one spouse is more sex driven than the other by a large margin? What if cheating is out of the question by your choice? What if swinging or open marriage out by the spouses choice? And your partner is your life mate, friend and love, and just dumping them and starting over with not even on the distant radar? Maybe this should be a starter for another thread, instead of adding to this one, but really, what does a person do?

One finds these things out before getting married.

[rpu3]

What DOESa person do when one spouse is more sex driven than the other by a large margin? What if cheating is out of the question by your choice? What if swinging or open marriage out by the spouses choice? And your partner is your life mate, friend and love, and just dumping them and starting over with not even on the distant radar? Maybe this should be a starter for another thread, instead of adding to this one, but really, what does a person do?

Seriously, doesn't your question essentially just leave masterbation and marriage counseling as options? If by choice one isn't cheating or swinging, that pretty much leaves trying to resolve the issue with your spouse via counseling, with a side of masterbation. It's early, of course, but I don't see a ton of options out there besides trying to resolve the issue WITH the other spouse.

[HotMoCpl]

Go ahead an read some of my old threads. One night she actually walked out on me...a few weeks ago I handed her the keys. I sure hope that VagasLee is right!

[tryit2?]

Originally Posted by Trellkin

One finds these things out before getting married.

Sorry, grew up in a different time/different generation. Not applicable. Besides some mismatches just accumulate with time/age. Think this would be better as a new thread, anyone think so??

[knb2004]

Interesting thread, I don't think I've read this one before.

I can somewhat relate to the OP, as I was in a previous marriage that was sexually bland. That was not the only reason it broke up, as it should have even were the sex good, but it was high on the list. However, one thing I realized as I got older and wiser (early 30's) is that these ideas I had about sexual monogamy being undesirable was not something I had to hide. When I was younger I was convinced I was a total freak, and frankly did not even admit my proclivities even to myself. When I finally opened my eyes, I was fortunate that my marriage sucked outside the bedroom, and it was easy for me to end it and start anew.

Wonder how I might have felt were that not true?

[DE_BBC]

Originally Posted by Trellken

One finds these things out before getting married.

No doubt.

[rpu3]

Think this would be better as a new thread, anyone think so??

If you think it's better as a new thread, then by all means, please feel free to start a new thread.

[PortlandGuy]

I was always curious, but my wife wasn't interested. Finally after almost 16 years, she's ready to take things to the next level. My patience has finally paid off.

[DarkVoyuer]

Originally Posted by rpu3

Seriously, doesn't your question essentially just leave masterbation and marriage counseling as options? If by choice one isn't cheating or swinging, that pretty much leaves trying to resolve the issue with your spouse via counseling, with a side of masterbation. It's early, of course, but I don't see a ton of options out there besides trying to resolve the issue WITH the other spouse.

Although I find this guy a coward, I must say that I find it arrogant that large segments of the vanilla community would assert that he will just have to get over his desire to have sex more. If he divorces her, many of them will label him selfish.

[MasterHack2007]

My wife was totally against the entire idea of swinging when i first mentioned it to her. now after time and being very open with each other about our needs/wants we are moving toward it. My advice make sure that your wife is totally and completely satisfied with your non-swinging sex life(Im not saying she isnt) try to open her up to new sexual experiances that dont involve anyone else first. the second step in my relationship was webcam exhibition believe it or not. once she became comfortable enough with her own sexuality it was easier for her to consider a MFM threesome. this is important because a woman who has no bisexual tendancies(or with jelousy issues) will be more comfortable with this situation. this is as far as ive gotten but i can tell you it is something that if it is to happen at all it takes time. she will not change her mind overnight. its all about her comfort levels for some it will never happen and if thats the case you just have to accept her for who she is and be happy with the relationship that you have

[Sandyb]

Great to read all these posts, they seem really similar to my situation.

I have tried many times discussing with her while having foreplay or sex having another lady or couple with us in same room. Some times she gets hot by hearing that, many times she opposes this idea.

I realized she is not for lifestyle with her noncooperating reactions.

But one thing she says I am free to participate are pursue any swinger activity or relationship with other female. She has wholeheartidly given her permission and has no issues at all with it.

What you guys suggest shall I go ahead or be happy with her.

[Sandyb]

Kudos to your patience and perseverence. I admire it.