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Curious About Swinging? This forum is for QUESTIONS from those who are BRAND NEW to the scene with NO EXPERIENCE. If you've been there/done it then help the newbies get answers, but post your questions to the General Swingers forum.

Is it rude to.....

This is a discussion on Is it rude to..... within the Curious About Swinging? forums, part of the Swingers Topics category; I've seen this done over and over again. 1.) If you plan to hang out at an on premise ...

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Old 05-30-2007, 06:10 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Is it rude to.....

I've seen this done over and over again. 1.) If you plan to hang out at an on premise club a little longer, and have played, should you shower right after playing with another couple? 2.)Should you leave right after playing with a couple? and 3.) Should you play with more than one couple a night?
I ask these questions because we are guilty of doing one of these things ourselves and have been asked if we do them. I always say we love to party and love the atmosphere. If we are lucky enough to find two couples that we both like in one night to play with, you best bet we are going to go for it. Finding two couples in one night is rare around these parts.
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Old 05-30-2007, 06:49 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is it rude to.....

I think it depends on the situation. If you go as a couple to say a house party, its pretty much on. If you show up with a couple, in my own opinion it might be rude for you to go and play with a different couple. If you are just at the club as a couple, and you happen to hook up with 2 couples, I don't see anything wrong with it. As long as you condom up, I think you are okay. As far as showering after, thats a personal choice. If you used condoms you are still pretty clean, although smelling of latex LOL. I don't know those are pretty personal calls.
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Old 05-30-2007, 08:31 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is it rude to.....

..."As long as you condom up"...

That also should be a personal call. As long as you mention what you did and with whom, the condom issue is moot in my opinion.

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Old 05-30-2007, 08:38 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is it rude to.....

I agree that it's a personal call. You should do what you want to do (not all on-premise clubs have showers, unfortunately, so that isn't always an option). Others may ask what you do and that's fine, if they aren't ok with what you choose to do then they may not want to play with you, but it's not up to them to determine your comfort level.
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Old 05-30-2007, 11:38 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is it rude to.....

I agree with DBL D and Julie, and even though I have attended about five different on-premise clubs, I have yet to attend one that had showers. We do carry "Wet Wipes" though for a little quick clean up when those lucky nights happen.
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Old 05-31-2007, 09:00 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is it rude to.....

One of our clubs has showers and one doesn't. We would definately use it. I carry wipes just in case.

At our house parties, we leave out stacks of towels in each bathroom, so guests can shower.

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Old 05-31-2007, 10:51 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is it rude to.....

Quote:
I've seen this done over and over again. 1.) If you plan to hang out at an on premise club a little longer, and have played, should you shower right after playing with another couple?
If possible, most certainly. I don't know about you, but I don't want some strange people's yucky icky stuff all over me for too long! To me, things like that are just too...intimate is not quite the word, but it will have to do. Other couples might well object also (imagine a straight woman with somewhat conservative preferences (as the Lifestyle goes, anyway) preparing to perform oral sex on a man and being greeted by the smell of another woman...
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2.)Should you leave right after playing with a couple?
I don't see why, unless it ended Benny Hill style.

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and 3.) Should you play with more than one couple a night?
Sure, why not? I uh, would of course highly recommend the shower beforehand.
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Old 05-31-2007, 11:12 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is it rude to.....

We had played with this couple and right after we played i showered, refreshed, and then went back downstairs to the party. The same lady came and started asking me questions. Don't know if she was asking because they were newbie or beacuse she was offended that i showered right afterward.

We even have it in our profile that we do not like sloppy seconds and would not do it to who ever that we are with. If they wanted to go a second round, someone should have said something.
After we had finished, they said they were leaving and i said i was going to shower. So we said our good-byes and hoped to see each other again and i thought it was a done deal.

Was we suppose to leave just because they were leaving? We did not agree to leave together, or come together for that matter, so why the questioning?

We seen this as a red flag and do not plan to play with this couple again. Are we wrong for red flagging them?

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Old 05-31-2007, 12:21 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is it rude to.....

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Originally Posted by Tia Vampire
We had played with this couple and right after we played i showered, refreshed, and then went back downstairs to the party. The same lady came and started asking me questions. Don't know if she was asking because they were newbie or beacuse she was offended that i showered right afterward.

We even have it in our profile that we do not like sloppy seconds and would not do it to who ever that we are with. If they wanted to go a second round, someone should have said something.
After we had finished, they said they were leaving and i said i was going to shower. So we said our good-byes and hoped to see each other again and i thought it was a done deal.

Was we suppose to leave just because they were leaving? We did not agree to leave together, or come together for that matter, so why the questioning?

We seen this as a red flag and do not plan to play with this couple again. Are we wrong for red flagging them?
I wouldn't think too much of the shower question. I can't imagine someone being offended that other people shower afterwards. I would assume that either they wanted a second round and had thought you did too, or that she was just curious. Most likely no harm done there--I would ask them next time you see them, "Hey, did you guys want to go again last time? If so, sorry--we didn't know." Something like that. That way, if they were somehow offended, you can at least smooth things over, even if you decide not to play with them again.

I don't think there's any pressure to leave because your play partners did, either. There's no reason for anyone to assume that another couple isn't going to sleep at the club (for those clubs that allow this--ours does), and get mad when they stay. At least, I hope it wouldn't offend people, because our club is 2.5 hours away from us. It's very worth the drive, I must say, but I don't feel like driving back home the same night. By the end of the night, I'm exhausted...the kind of exhaustion that does a body good. facelick
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Old 05-31-2007, 04:39 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is it rude to.....

What were the questions she was asking?
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Old 05-31-2007, 05:42 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is it rude to.....

Where we leaving too or where we going to hang out somemore? When we said that we was going to hang out a little longer, her body language was that of a child disappointed with a christmas gift. You know that body shutter. They stood around for about 20min to 30min. before they left. She kind of made me feel that she was watching to see if we wanted to be with another couple. There were other people waiting to go in the rooms upstairs and there was about four couple and some singles left downstairs.
We finished our drinks and headed for home about 4am. By that time only the people that were staying were still there.
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Old 05-31-2007, 06:58 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is it rude to.....

Well, my take on her reaction may have been that they might have wanted to play more, but maybe she wasn't comfortable or wanting to be direct enough to ask you to leave with them? If you were leaving at the same time, then as your're walking out it would be easier to ask if you wanted to go home with them (or to get a room or whatever)?

If that were it, maybe you would want to smooth things over a bit the next time you see them at the club (a good one was mentioned in a reply above).

Just for us, if we plan on actually meeting and playing with a specific couple, then we aren't really going to the club to play with any one but them...sure we socialize with others while we are there (conversation, jokes, ect.)...if we are just going on a night to see what we can get up to with no preset plans...well, I would have no problem playing with multiple couples in a night, as long as my sweetie was on board.

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Old 06-01-2007, 06:37 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is it rude to.....

Yes, sounds like they really wanted to continue with you and were hoping you'd invite them.

Wouldn't it be nice to be a mind reader?

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