first time MWM- looking for feedback

[mandcmv]

Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I am the male half of the couple writing and my wife wife is not aware I am writing this. I would like to tell you about our situation and get some honest feedback from all of you experienced (and even not so experienced) people. Basically, I'm looking for as much info as possible before jumping into this so we don't make any mistakes.
Neither of us has had sex with more than our partner (meaning no 3-ways or more in our pasts) but we both fantasize about it. I personally am game for anything, MFM or FMF however she is not at all into girls, and I would never want to force her to do something she wasn't comfortable with, hence we have settled our fantasy on the MFM scenario.
I first told her about 6 or 7 years ago that the thought of watching her give head to someone turned me on. She thought I was joking at first, but I insisted I was serious, and she proceeded to get so horny we ended up having sex 3 times that night and once more in the a.m. She was noticably turned on by the idea. So that was the start.
Over the years the fantasy has arisen from time to time, and has evolved from that opening admission to including watching MFM porn, playing with dildo's and vibrators, etc. She loves it. However, the line between fantasy and reality was always blurred until this last weekend.
See, in the past when we play she always is turned on, but I get the feeling she is just playing fantasy, and not interested in making it reality. For instance, she will be on all fours giving me head, and I'll be doing her from behind with a dildo, and she'll take my cock out of her mouth and say things like "I wish there was really someone behind me right now" etc etc. Things like this happen repeatedly but I've never thought she was really serious.
This past weekend we had a babysitter, and we went out to a party and had some drinks. We came home knowing we were going to have hot sex, but I had no idea (maybe she didn't either) know how hot it would be.
While she was in the bathroom and I put out a little plaid schoolgirl skirt I like her to wear and some black F-me pumps she wears when we play fantasy. She came out of the bathroom in her skirt, pumps, and a lacy little top that looked so hot. She looked amazing. I had lit some candles and had a porno on showing a blonde girl sucking 2 guys cocks.
She pretended to do a little strip for me, then swung over me (I was laying on bed on my back) reverse doggy style and started playing with her pussy. I won't give the blow by blow but suffice to say we talked dirtier that night then ever before, but more importantly, we talked seriously.
As the girl on the TV was getting double teamed by the 2 guys I asked her if she'd like to do that and without hesitation she said "MMM yes let's do it." she'd never actually said lets do it before. I asked her "Hey are you serious about this, because I really would like to do it?" and she said "Yeah I'd do it.....". I also told her that I've played a little fantasy in my mind where we're on vacation somewhere and we meet a guy and he fucks her and I watch and join in and she said "yeah like somewhere where we wouldn't see him again right?" Seems she'd been thinking about it too! I asked her if she would be mad at me if I set something up with a guy without her knowing when it woukd happen, and would she go through with it, and was she just talking dirty...she said "No I wouldn't be mad, that would be great....". She also said "like in Las Vegas, we meet some guy in the bar and go back to our hotel room and you guys fuck me..." .....on and on talk like this. Needless to say our sex that night was mindblowing and it ended with her riding my cock as I fucked her ass with a vibrator- our little version of DP and she loved it!
I was blown away and the next day we didn't really speak of the content of the previous nights conversation, but we did acknowledge that we had a lot of fun and that it was very sexy.
Later that week I was looking at my calendar and I had to plan 2 days out of town on business, and I said "hey what are you you doing on so and so date?" You know what she said? "why, are you planning a trip to Las Vegas?" and gave me a little smile! Wow. This was 4 days after our big night and it was obviously still on her mind. Iasked her if that was what she was reffering to and she smiled and said "I'm just teasing you...."
So here lies the dilemma. You know that saying "be careful what you wish for, it may come true."? Well, here I am smack in the middle of, and I really want to do it if she is serious, and at the same time I'm nervous about seeing her with another man, and also nervous that it may have a bad effect on our great relationship afterwards. I have so many things on my mind but at the same time I feel like I have a dream staring me in the face.
So, I'm looking for advice. Does she really, really want to do it, or is it best left as fantasy? If we do go forward what is the best approach? How do I handle any jealousy that may arise (I'm not a typical jealous person so the fact that this is even on my mind scares me a little."
Bottom line is I want to do this right way if we do it at all. Look forward to hearing any and all advice. Thanks again for reading my long post.

[InNY]

You better think long and hard before you allow another guy to fuck your wife. It's the point of no return.

[Mr. Truelove]

The poster above me has stated his opinion in the past on this topic. I suggest you look them up before putting too much weight into his comments.

Anyhow, it sounds to me like your wife is ready. But you should be sure, and you asking us shows that you aren't. Talk to her, in an open on honest fashion about it. Show her your post, let her read it. Open communication is essential.

Mr. Truelove

[mandcmv]

Thanks for your reply Mr TL. Noted that you think my wife is ready, but then you say that you think I need to be sure.....my question is: be sure about what? Me being ready or my wife being ready? I truthfully am not sure if either of us are ready, the only thing I know is that we are both turned on by the idea of a MFM. Maybe it is best sometimes to leave fantasy as just that: fantasy. I'm not sure. I do know that I wouldn't want her to become so into it that she wanted MFM's all the time. I guess I would like to have one crazy wild night, or maybe a wild night every now and again. So much to think about but I do know that I'm not rushing it, and I'm not forcing the issue.

[Mr. Truelove]

Originally Posted by mandcmv

Thanks for your reply Mr TL. Noted that you think my wife is ready, but then you say that you think I need to be sure.....my question is: be sure about what? Me being ready or my wife being ready? I truthfully am not sure if either of us are ready, the only thing I know is that we are both turned on by the idea of a MFM. Maybe it is best sometimes to leave fantasy as just that: fantasy. I'm not sure. I do know that I wouldn't want her to become so into it that she wanted MFM's all the time. I guess I would like to have one crazy wild night, or maybe a wild night every now and again. So much to think about but I do know that I'm not rushing it, and I'm not forcing the issue.

What I meant was...

It doesn't matter what I think. I can think that she is ready all day long. But you need to know . Your marriage depends on it. The only way you are ever going to be sure is to ask. In a serious conversation, not hallway or bedroom chatter. Sit down, discuss it. Show her this thread. (Hello to her )

Mr. Truelove

[fun4Ds]

hi , mandcmv

this is a good place to find some answers, and sounds like you care enough to think things through... thats a good thing. me and mrs fun have talked about many such fantasy adventures. im the type to think about everything sometimes, from the worst to the best that can happen. just helps with feeling prepaird.

the thing we do and agree about, is that no matter what... we dont let even the worst, effect our marriage/relationship after the point of no return.thats our deal and we keep our word always.

with the mfm play we have encountered... so far no complaints , but we have been very selective.

we wish ya the best outcome. ours have been great with alot of hi fives.

added note:: about the mrs. not knowing about your post, mrs. fun reads all of my post and likes knowing what is on my mind. as mr truelove says ,by all means let her read your posts.

[BiloxiCouple]

Take the time that you put into your "long" post and use the same talents to talk to her. Talk to her when you are both sober and take baby steps that you are BOTH comfortable with. Use some of the suggested "rules" around here and use them as guidelines to getting started.

You know each other best. Talk to her and listen and she does the same.

We started with simple flirting and worked our way thru other things as our comfort level was recognized. And it didn't happen overnight. But it could!!!

Good luck.

[mandcmv]

Thanks a lot for all the responses. I appreciate the time you've taken and am taking evrything into consideration. One thing for sure; I would never move forward on this without talking with her openly, and let her reading my post and the subsequent responses.

[Lovethenights]

Your wife and you sound healthy and fun-loving. The lifestyle offers tremensoud opportunities for such a couple, assuming they are mature enough to deal with the issues that may arise. Having the discussion away from the bedroom or imminent sexual activity will bring it into a light where fantasy can indeed be seen for what it is, either merely fantasy or truly, desire. With open and honest discussion between you, rational and uncolored by concurrent intense sexual arousal, you guys have the best opportunity to understand exactly how the other feels. Once you find out it's merely fantasy, then leave it there. If you find out it's true desire, then start making plans to fulfill that desire. For a long time, I'd had a fantasy to watch my wife with another man and she'd been willing to use that fantsy in our love-making.
One day, due to some intersting circumstances, it suddenly became possible to be realized. We had a quick meeting of the minds where we reviewed our feelings and desires, and both decided "this was it." A few hours later, she was physically exhausted from orgasms and I was left with the most incredibly awesome and indelible memories of the most erotic scenes, sounds and images of my wife I can even imagine. I have felt closer and more in love with her since then than I could ever believe I could feel for any reason. Swinging doesn't dominate our lives, but it provides a current of arousal and intensity that we love to swim in from time to time.

[CuriousInOregon]

after Reading your Post I say one thing that has been said hundreds of times COMMUNICATE if she is serious great set it up. BUT talk to the M that your seting it up with and make it VERY clear to him that this is a First time event and if at ANYTIME she is uncomfortable he is to stop and talk to make sure things are OK and that it might not happen.

[des1re06]

From the wife's perspective, what made me feel comfortable was watching MFM in person. We found an on-premise club that was 2 hours away from home, and we watched in the MFM room. I had to separate the actual act from watching porno, and this did it for me. Then we were able to take it to the next level and try it at home or hotel room.

Picking up a guy in a "vanilla" bar worries me a bit, because they are less likely to understand this is a fantasy for you. Guys with experience in the lifestyle are more likely to understand your wishes and respect your marriage.

Keep reading and communicating with your wife. Remember that she sets the rules and the speed at which you proceed.

Mrs. D

[Fringeswinger]

Isn't it curious (but understandable) how we spend so much time trying to figure out "what it means" when he or she says this or does that? We waste all this time, get ourselves all worked up, guess wrong and make mistakes, etc. Why can't we just cut though all the B.S. and talk about it like adults? Am I oversimplifying?