How much flirting or sexual comments are acceptable?

[lovinher]

We are swinging virgins who have been reading here for quite a while now. I feel I am prepared for any situation that could come up. We are both comfortable with the idea and talk about it quite a bit. The only thing I'm worried about is inadvertently saying or doing the wrong thing when meeting or playing with another couple. I mean how do you know just how much flirting or sexual comments are acceptable to the couple you are with. On the flip side what if it not enough? I'm no lump but I'm not much of a flirt either. I don't want to leave the impression I'm not enjoying myself, that I'm not interested or that I'm some crude asshole who just wants to get laid. To tell you the truth this is probably my biggest concern when it comes to swinging. The act of swinging I'm cool with but it's getting there that makes me nervous. I don't really have a question but maybe some of you could give your experience with this and how you overcame it.

[Tia Vampire]

Just be yourself and try to be as open -minded as possible because anything can happen. Just don't spit on the floor if you happen to get a mouth full of his or her cum. I made this mistake and have not gotton to be with this couple again. We I.M each other, but that is all.
Also follow the couple that you get with lead until you are more comfortable with making the first move.

[LOL_OMG]

Hi hun, I would say first of all you finding this board is one of the best steps in swinging. You have already learned a bunch and talked a bunch.

That being said, once you're in a situation it's kind of hard to pre-plan for it. You definately need to listen to your inner voices and roll with it. You may meet a couple who are very easy to get along with and all are on the same page...but then you might run into problems (many have been listed on this board).

As far as flirting, I always find it's a give little, take a little. When I give a bit more, I do the hubby check and make sure he's still smiling

In the end it's really up to you...there's no checklist or protocol. Make sure you are both having fun, and the more you experience the more you will learn about yourself and your partner.

Mrs

[charms123]

Go with your gut as they say. Be natural and ask some questions of the other couple to gauge what they want. Ask if they are full swap or soft swingers. If that is the first or one of the first questions, that will tell you want branch of questions you should follow.

The first is always the hardest. After 6 year at it we are still nervous sometimes when we meet new people or go to a new club.

Good luck and report back how you fair.

All our best,

M&N

[good times]

Just be yourself, they will either like you as you are or not. One thing I can guarantee though, if you try to be something you are not in order to impress them, it will backfire and they will be on to it in no time.

You are way over thinking this, just go do it. You can read about it, analyze it, and ask questions about it until you are blue in the face, but until you just be yourself and go do it you don't have the foggiest clue how it is going to go.

Other than something major like loudly passing gas while introducing yourself, their just isn't much that you can do wrong. The people you meet will either like you or not. If they like you, they aren't likely to be put off by your nervousness or a few missteps here and their. If they don't like you after a few minutes they will be frantically trying to figure the best way to tactfully dump you and move on, and nothing you can say or do will change their mind.

Good luck, and keep in mind, it really is easier than it seems.

[Spoomonkey]

What I have found is that I really want people to flirt... But then, when some people flirt - they go too far... Others don't seem to flirt at all - and make me feel unliked...

Like others have said - be yourself. That way, the friendship you develop is real - not forced - and based on a honest, mutual attraction. If you want to flirt - go ahead. If you want to lay back, go for that as well. It is far too tough to try to match what everyone else wants. As Bill Cosby said, and I paraphrase, "I don't know what the path to success is, but the path to failure is trying to please everyone."

If you are you - that will be the perfect experience for everyone involved

Spoomonkey

[lovinher]

Just don't spit on the floor if you happen to get a mouth full of his or her cum.

I don't think this would be a problem-unless it was "his"

You are way over thinking this, just go do it.

Wouldn't be the first time Iv'e been accused of this and of course you are right.

Other than something major like loudly passing gas while introducing yourself, their just isn't much that you can do wrong.

Great, just great! Something else to worry about!

Like others have said - be yourself. That way, the friendship you develop is real - not forced - and based on a honest, mutual attraction.

I'm not a very good actor anyway.

Thanks all

[iapr]

Ditto to what all the others have said and will also add that it is mostly art with a little science thrown in. Much of it is so complex and dynamic that you will drive yourself crazy if you try to analize it all and I speak from experience as I am very analytical and try to apply the scientific process to everything.

The big thing is have fun and enjoy yourself. People gravitate towards people that are having fun. Be yourself and be open and honest with people. If you give a heartfelt and honest compliment people will appreciate that and be flattered. If you try to make something up just to try and flirt, people will see that too and be put off.

[HotOwassoMILF]

Ditto what others said.

imo, if people don't like you for who you are, then I wouldn't want to be around those people anyway. Jut feel the people out (not up, lol) & see what vibes you get. But don't be someone else just to get to be able to play with them, kwim?