Puzzled Help!

[Tinydancer]

I am not sure either ,that is why I am asking advice from all of you .
Until he asked I didn't have any reason to do this. He told me I was insecure in our relationship if I couldn't try this for him. And I can't help it I am one of those people who really read the instructions first. He has done a 360 not me . And I don't want anyone to get hurt . That is why I am taking this so slow.
I have liked what I have read here and think I am ready. But again I wanted a secure couple not a just a single girl. i think that was fare for me to ask .

[lovinher]

You mentioned that you told him you would post here so I'm assuming he is reading the thread. A couple of this stick out here that really have me puzzled.

Why on earth would you bring this up to a bunch of strangers in a classroom?

Then this:

my last lover was very well hung and un afraid to expore with me . My guy is slow and I have to work hard . I say it's from jacking off so much on his own .

Twice you felt the need to tell us he 4 years older than you. For what purpose?

No wonder the guy is having second thoughts. Maybe I'm way off base here but just maybe his confidence is shot. Just maybe he is worried you will like a guy not "slow" as him, not afraid to "explore" you, more "hung" than him and you won't have to "work" so damn hard.

Like I said there is more going on here than we are being told.

[Tinydancer]

Ok let me fill you in better . In the class , we had the topic of Fenales at the 40 range are at thier prime and start to be more free with themseleves. So We also touched on 3somes. Did I tell them about me & him , no I used the question of 3somes in general and got a reply that this means something is missing .
Ok again I am new at this and last nite I did feel like I went on cause I was upset. Sorry.
So us in general : He has had a very active past sex life and is older than I . He made me feel that because I had only had 3 lovers in my life I was not I guess the word is experiencecd enough. I got pretty beat up when he asked this the first time. I didn't mean he was too old , I meant it as more experience than I . Sorry , new at this and I am talking to you all as I get the feed back from him. I want to make sure that this is what he wants and not just a game . So I thought if I put this out here you guys would know more than me. Other than this issue we are a great couple together , raised 2 great girls , pretty much in tune with each other except for this . And as far as his confidence goes , he thinks he is the greatest and no question in his mind at all. He tells me where I fail and wanting a couple instead of just a single women is a bad thing for us.

[lovinher]

You want a couple, he doesn't.
He wants a female only, you don't.
Right now it seems obvious you should do neither until you both agree on something on your own terms, not just to please the other. It would be much better for nothing to happen than for something to happen and regret it later.
Has he or would he read this site? I think that should be the first step before you go any farther. If he is as you say he is maybe reading here will open his eyes a bit.

[Happypair]

He thinks he is the greatest; he tells you where you fail; and he tells you wanting a couple rather than a single woman would be bad for you... So in addition to being jealous and insecure, he is conceited and controlling. If you go his way, you are bowing to a bully. If you try it your way right now, either he will grow up in a hurry or you'll be in divorce court. The problem there is the innocent victims you'll be maiming in your train wreck.
You two are NOT ready.

[Tinydancer]

Originally Posted by Happypair

He thinks he is the greatest; he tells you where you fail; and he tells you wanting a couple rather than a single woman would be bad for you... So in addition to being jealous and insecure, he is conceited and controlling. If you go his way, you are bowing to a bully. If you try it your way right now, either he will grow up in a hurry or you'll be in divorce court. The problem there is the innocent victims you'll be maiming in your train wreck.
You two are NOT ready.

I think the two of you are right. The first right thing I did was come on this site. I don't want anyone to get hurt. I am sorry if I upset all of you , but I thought this was the place to learn . And again this was his wish and it took me 2yrs to come around to this point. I wasn't going to jump in the pool quite yet . I will keep learning and talking to him and grow with all of you in this lifestyle . Maybe one day we will laugh at these threads of mine over a great cup of coffee!

[lovinher]

TinyDancer...Thank you for the clarification. I am sorry I took some comments the wrong way. From what I now now all I can say is you are an incredibly amazing woman and I hope everything goes well for you.

[lovinher]

...and you didn't upset anybody.

[Tinydancer]

Nothing amazing here, I am a very passionate person . Everything I do has to come with some sort of passion , dance , cooking, my daughter . That is the stuff that helps me get up every day . And if now my guy doesn't see that and needs more , then I guess it's time to let him follow a new path . " For evry action there is a reaction " . You guys are the best . I will still be here learning ok ? Just think of me as the dum dum of this lifestlye ! lol