Wife brought up swinging; how do we get started?

[jonesda123]

My wife and I have been married for 3 yrs .We were over her friends house drinking we joked about it now months later my wife asked me if I would be interested in swinging with this couple .To know my wife this is way out there for here she is not very open sexually but i am (like most guys).She is very serious i find her friend whom is much older very sexual .So how do I know that in doing this it will not bust up there friendship I told her that to me its a womans agrrement that something they need to talk out!!!!! Never been in this place before kind of scary and kind of thrilling all at once ...help me people before i explode.lol/....

[Cpl2share]

Wrong: First you two need to talk about it. I would question wether or not a marriage as young as yours can handle all of the emotions that happen with swinging. Second: Her asking you about it does not mean that the friends are interested. Before anyone else gets involved: You two have to talk about it and decide what is right for you.

[XMonkey]

Superb advice Cpl2; after we discovered the lifestyle (watching tv documentary) we spent 18 months talking about it so that the boundaries were firmly in place and all the 'what if' questions were taken care of. Then we jumped on in...

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by jonesda123

My wife and I have been married for 3 yrs .

Originally Posted by Cpl2share

I would question wether or not a marriage as young as yours can handle all of the emotions that happen with swinging.

We're all individuals with different levels of communication and maturity... but I don't see why a 3-year marriage would be cause for alarm as being too short for swinging. Mr. Tybee and I just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary yesterday. We are going strong.

[Cpl2share]

Tybee:

I stand corrected. The comment was made after spending many (18) years together. We remember the first few (6 or 7) being a time of great trial and error in our relationship. You are right, not all relationships or people mature or develope at the same speed.

[sexychoclit]

If you are interested in getting with other people then you should let your wife know how you feel. I would spend some time on web sites such as this and maybe visit a club or two. I don't know if swinging with your friends is the best thing to do. Do you even know if they are swingers? For your wife to use the work "swinging" then I would think that either she knows for sure or that maybe she is attracted to the couple herself.

Study and research together. Be honest about what you are looking for and how far you would want to see her go. Allow her to express her feelings and don't be mad if you hear something that you don't like.

[iapr]

Trying to get regular friends in your bed is almost always a bad idea. It is typical that when a couple first starts thinking about swinging that they start thinking about which friends to hit up about it but it is always a bad idea.
It could damage their friendship, damage your friends marriage and could damage your marriage as well.

It is not uncommon for couples to discuss swinging and to research it together for several months if not even years before actually trying to do anything. There is no rush and no reason to hurry nor any reason to hit up your friends.

When you decide it is time to try and make it happen in the real world you are almost always better off trying to meet real swingers who are already in the lifestyle and make new friends from within the lifestyle. Trying to seduce your regular friends is often a recipe for drama and chaos.

[des1re06]

Just wanted to say welcome to the board!

Reading here together will help answer alot of your questions, and will stimulate conversation between the two of you about this important decision.

Good luck!

Mrs. D

[JustAskJulie]

First off to the board!

When she brought it up was it with the suggestion that it should be with this friend? How was it brought up? What was the actual suggestion she made?

Swinging with friends can be a very tricky thing, especially when you are both new to this and not sure what you are comfortable with.

[fun4Ds]

Welcome aboard jonesda123

How do you both feel, about what some of the folks have said or asked here so far ?

Are the older couple that you are referring to, swingers ?