disorganized thoughts on swinging

[lustylearning]

Originally Posted by socolais

I see swinging as a good opportunity to experience some new and fresh sensations in a highly charged erotic setting, all with the intended result of rejuvenating our emotional attachment to each other. If the process is fun too, well I guess I can handle that ;-)

Are you thinking now you have it wrong? That maybe there are more sinister motives at work? I think we all periodically question our reasoning. It's a healthy thing when you do something akin to playing with fire. Some are skilled at it, and some aren't. Is lifestyle really a worthwhile endeavor? If you can the enjoy the circus and go home content, probably.

Nice pun in the opening post.

[socolais]

I was so confused about swinging back then that I don't recognise those old thoughts as my own. I was way too hung up on the physical part of sex and not really considering the simple fun part of adult social interaction.

Swinging turned out to be much more fun than I originally imagined and on top of that, it's fun in a totally different way too. Yeah, the sex is fun and without the sex, I guess it wouldn't be swinging. But the real fun for me is the flirting and the sexually charged atmosphere. At least for me, flirting with a real possibility of a hook-up is really cool even when the actual hook-up never materializes. Before swinging, heavy flirting was fun but everyone "knew" it would never go beyond just words.

I was concerned about society's general disapproval of all things swinging. I figured there HAD to be a good reason things were the way they were. I'm glad we made the decision to explore the opportunities for ourselves. Swinging turned out to be the right choice for us. It's difficult to put into words, but swinging has clearly shown me what a lucky man I am (and she tells me every day how she feels lucky too). The sexual variety we both enjoy with our playmates has led to a more playful attitude toward sex between us. I got lazy in 30 years of monogamy, I knew her hot buttons well, and went straight for them almost every time we had sex. Now, we spend more time just playing and intentionally varying our touches. Exposure to variety made both of us better lovers.

It took me a long time to understand the concept of swinging as a hoby. Most of the time, we have no desire to swing - we're too busy enjoying each other. Every now and then, we'll get into an adventurous mood and start talking about the next house party we want to attend and who is signed up for it that we've thought about getting with. If we decided to completely stop swinging, it wouldn't bother me a bit. Swinging is just for fun. And yes, it's at the very top of Maslow's list of needs.

I really appreciate the thoughtful guidance everyone provided to help me find my way. It worked in spite of my overthinking.

[JustAskJulie]

I think threads like this are great as they allow us to see the progression of someone who started out unsure if this was the right choice for them, moving along through the years to discover what their own misconceptions were