Swinging & Keeping thing fair

[racycat]

So, we haven't experienced it yet, but I have thoughts/ideas on how I would like things to "go down" for the first time and I would like your thoughts.

I'm a bi-curious female, and I really want to experience being with a woman as well as swap. How do those situations play out? Do the two women 69 each other and the men watch for awhile, and then play? How do the women have their experience with each other as well as make their hubbies/bf's happy?

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by racycat

How do those situations play out? Do the two women 69 each other and the men watch for awhile, and then play? How do the women have their experience with each other as well as make their hubbies/bf's happy?

That is impossible to answer since - like "real sex" - there isn't any recipe to it. I mean, Mrs Spoo and I will often fuck for a while before we move on to oral, which I think is fairly uncommon but works for us.

In a play situation, the girls might start - or not... The couples may start together - with their own spouses - or not... It depends on what you are looking for and what you are into. There are no rules to swinging, you make it fit you.

Not to sound confrontational, but rethink your last question:

Originally Posted by racycat

How do the women have their experience with each other as well as make their hubbies/bf's happy?

The way I read this is - "how do I do what I want and still throw hubby a bone?"

What is he comfortable with? Does he want to just sit back and watch or does he want to start off in a pile?

If he wants to sit back and watch, then you make him happy just by going on ahead and "having your experience". But, keep in mind, that for most couples swinging isn't "my experience" or "your experience" - it is OUR experience; something that a couple shares. There is nothing wrong with hubby watching - if that is how he wants the experience to play out - but if that isn't going to make him happy, nothing is.

Always start with "respect". Do nothing that is going to upset him, make him feel left out or ignored. Know what his interests and boundaries are - and play together to satisfy BOTH of your interests.

If you approach it that way, you don't need to borrow someone else's playbook

Spoomonkey

[dayhiker]

racycat,
Since you will probably swing more than one time. I'd say relax a little and not think you have to do it all the 1st time.
dayhiker

[VegasLee]

The biggest mistake I see new people make when entering the lifestyle or their first visit to a swing club/party is to over think all of this.

The human mind is something else, it can make up the way it thinks this all should go and then you will be greatly let down once it happens. There is no way in most cases that reality can live up to what you picture in your mind or create in a fantasy.

Know what your limits/rules are then just go and enjoy yourself. If you build it up to much or expect to much you will be sitting yourself up to be let down.

We never make plans so we are never let down. What happens, Happens and it works for us.

[des1re06]

No. 1 rule of ours is to be completely honest with each other and the couple we're playing with. Let her know exactly what you're comfortable with doing your first time, and what your fantasies are for next time.

My first time with a woman, I was very nervous. She took her time with me, while the husbands watched. It was a very enjoyable experience because she was so patient with me. Going down on her the first time was fantastic, as a result, since I felt no pressure.

After the ladies played, both oral and with toys (double dong), I gave her hubby oral while she rode my hubby in the same bed. We didn't separate.

I'm thankful to her for making my first experience one I'll never forget.

Mrs. D

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by racycat

How do the women have their experience with each other as well as make their hubbies/bf's happy?

This part of your post stood out to me as what I thought was a very fair question. Swinging isn't an only one choice thing. If the girls want to play together, quite often they do so and as they do the guys will join in as well (stroking, touching, licking, etc). If the girls ONLY want to play together, then it should probably be made clear up front that the guys will NOT participate so that they can then sit back an watch (if they agree that that is ok) until the girls are ready for them to join in (in whatever way is agreed).

It's becoming fairly common as female bisexuality has become "the thing to do" for couples to seek out other couples where the females are bi for the girls to play together while the guys watch or JUST play with their own partner... the latter becomes a foursome with only soft-swinging between the girls.

[Bama0468]

my wifes first time I was PLEANTY happy to sit out in the living room and chat and watch TV .... the thought of going into that first time event, or any event with her first partner that time is well... :: shudders:: ... just not a for me.