Newbies: Who would you rather play with?

[lovinher]

Brain&mandy, I couldnt agree more. Wow!

[nmgrrrl]

I'm fortunate I guess, in that nmturfman has been in the lifestyle for a number of years, so I haven't really dealt with as many "newbie" issues. I do feel more comfortable with ppl who arent 'old hands' strictly because they tend to move slower and aren't as impatient. I'm not into endless chat & email like veterans complain about, but I'm damn sure not going to make a date with anyone I am not 100% comfy with.

nmturfman has no problem with newbies and enjoys meeting them and helping them to feel comfortable to explore. I was brand spankin new when he met me and with some patience he helped free the wild thing inside.

Do the lifestyle a favor-- adopt a newbie.

[wifes_sex_slave]

For MRS and I, we have been to our local club a small number of times and have met both new and experienced couples. (For those of you who have read us before know that we still are Swing Lifestyle virgins) We were stood up by a supposed experienced couple and at first kinda soured our taste a bit but quickly dismissed that as just rudeness and kept returning to the club.

Now saying that we have met all sorts of couples, we have noticed that for the most part it really has not much to do with how experienced you are in the lifestyle as it is your attitude towards others.

MRS and I are very easy going people, a little shy (likely the reason for our "virginity") but are not going to dismiss any opportunity just because "they" have never done it or "they" have been with everyone in the club. We are patient and will, in time, find our niche.

This subject (along with the other thread from the experienced side) have caused some hard feelings from both sides of the fence, which we find rather unnecessary as we all have our opinions on the matter.

For us, as long as the other couple is nice to talk to (not necessarily attractive - looks aren't all the person is) and patient enough to take the time to play with us, we will of course, be the same. Remember the old antic, "people will respond to how they are treated, equally" goes a long way. It's a mind set.

Whether experienced or not - if you are kind and are treated kind and have a fun conversation with another couple, chances are (unless they repulse you for some reason) you will consider getting to know them better and perhaps play fantastic together.

[Gladiola4u]

Good thread Julie.

For me personally it doesn't matter. Although we have not had our first experience yet, we have met some really nice couples at the club that are both newbies and experienced. We want to meet both couples well before we do swing with them and make sure that we actually click. I agree with nmgrrrls, that I also want to feel comfy with whomever we swing with and not regret the whole thing 5 minutes into the playing.
We have discussed with hubby that we are more into personality than with the looks or the years of "experience" of a couple. We have met this very new and young couple that we both really liked but also this older and a LOT of years of "experience" that we also like. They have both given us the chance to talk and to a possible meeting (short of inviting us) but we want to make sure that whomever we decide to go with at the end, is the couple that we are both okay with.

[Menage_a_Trois]

Ok - for the newbies - my question would be - why not an experienced couple with MORE experience? Why is this such a bad thing as some have made it sound? Maybe I'm just tired and not understanding lol.....please explain.

The Other Mrs. Menage

[Tia Vampire]

We chose someone who knows a little, but not alot because we did meet a couple who has people in and out of thier house and are experienced. This was a red flag for us. They love having sex without protection. The sex is good, don't get me wrong, but they have it too often and we think they are a ricky pick.

[LikeMinds321]

People starting out often write in their profile that they "want someone to show us the ropes" or, in contrast, "want to meet new swingers like us and take it slow."

When we started out, we didn't care if our first meet/play with a couple was with another newbie couple or experienced swingers. But for many, it seems they have a definite preference because they mention it in their profile.

For you newbies - and those curious about swinging - who would you prefer to meet when you first step into SwingWorld, newbies or experienced swingers? Explain why.

LM

[Tia Vampire]

When we first started out, we just wanted to be able to say that we tried it. After our first couple of couples he wanted to move slower. Now we want to really get to know who we play with unless it's just a one night stand. As long as we see that a couple is serious about playing, know how to have a good time when they are out, they don't have any hang ups, and the sex is good, these are the type of couples that we prefer. They are usually the more experienced swingers. We don't care who or how many others they've been with.

[Fantasy01]

We have no preferance either....but we do want to get to know the other couple first not just jump in bed naked with them... However, that being said if we meet a couple and there is a instant attraction then yes we would get naked and screw our brains out...

[sexcupid]

We first met up with another relatively new couple (altho, they did also both have singles profiles...so I'm thinking they hadn't been a couple very long).

The other folks we've met with have varying degrees of experience.

I guess the reason a preference is stated in an ad...since they are new, they want some one new as well because they are all kind of in the same boat (nerves, lack of experience, etc)...whereas they might think that meeting up with an experienced couple is more pressure to play, not wanting to be seen as 'flakes' or teases if they don't want to play, etc.

But the request for the experienced couple could be for some of the same reasons. They don't want to have another newbie couple that is just as nervous...maybe someone to take the lead in how the night progresses?

[Malachista]

I had three relationships before getting into swinging. All three guys where virgins. I did not care who I played with, I just don't want any more virgins in my pants .. thank you very much!

[JustAskJulie]

[bellsandwhistle]

We've had a couple play dates, so far, and we're still very new to the lifestyle.

It was nice to play with an experienced couple, as it didn't take all night for someone to make the first move. I'm sure if we were both newbies, it could have been the wee hours of the a.m. before anyone had the nerve.

I joked with them that we were glad they popped our cherry. The had been in the lifestyle for years and made us feel very comfortable and sexy.

Since we've had another play date, we're much more comfortable now and feel as though we can read the signs....for the most part. I'm comfortable as the initiator.

I don't know that we're ready to engage with total newbies yet, but maybe later on we will.

[Rhysis]

My wife and I have yet to have our first experience. We've talked about it some and we've come to the conclusion that, if we do decide to take that step, we would be a lot more comfortable with someone who was experienced. It would be way too wierd for us otherwise.

[Blue_eyes]

Since my husband and I have yet to play together, I think I'd like an experienced couple the first few times.