Distracted on first try with couple - should we try it again?

[nice_cpl_n_bama]

Hi Everybody,
Laurie and I were invited to a couples home for the evening this weekend.
After some nice conversation our hostess "accidentally" spilled her drink on her breasts and asked me to help clean it up. Needless to say things were going well.
As we moved along Laurie and the gentleman decided the bedroom was a little too crowded because they only had a full sized bed and Laurie and I are used to a king.
The spare bedroom was upstairs. This was a brand new couple we didn't really know very well and Laurie was out of earshot. I was constantly listening hard to make sure everything was going well upstairs. It was so distracting that... ummmm.... well... lets just say it wasn't my best performance. She was sweet about it though and insisted that I'd taken care of her nicely by other means. facelick
Laurie and I talked about it on the way home and she assured me that he was a perfect gentleman. Here's the question, I feel more comfortable with our new friends now and I think the nervousness was just because I couldn't monitor the mans behavior. Should we try it again and see if I'm more comfortable or just put our foot down and say "same room only?"
Thanks
Jeff

[GotBatteries?]

You could try asking same room only. Or the husband and your wife could try another room (livingroom? Hallway sex is awesome and you cant really go wrong bent over the kitchen sink! ) on the same floor level and leave the door open. We've also done same room one coupling on the bed one on the floor...its almost like seperate room in the sense that you can't really see eachother but you get the sound effects.

Have fun

[SuAndBud]

If you're comfortable with the other couple, it really is up to you. You don't always have to "do it" in the same room in fact either or both of you might be inclined to let your hair down more and enjoy the sex better without the watchful presence of your/their partner.

We would only ever agree to seperate rooms if we had built up a trusting relationship with the other partners.

Your lady has expressed her enjoyment with the other guy on this occasion which you might find a major turn on next time you have his lady to yourself. Imagine how good it could be with her, safe in the knowledge that your partner is having a ball in the next room, too.

I don't think we'd be inclined to make this a regular thing, but for some it might add just a little more spice occasionally.

[gatorvol64]

Have you always done same room? If you are not nervous about how he will treat her now I think you should be ok to see them again. If we were ever to do different rooms, I know my husband would have to have same room the first time we were with a couple. He worries about me and is very protective. Seems that you are too. Good luck and I would be interested in knowing what you decide.

Vol

[nice_cpl_n_bama]

Originally Posted by gatorvol64

Have you always done same room? If you are not nervous about how he will treat her now I think you should be ok to see them again. If we were ever to do different rooms, I know my husband would have to have same room the first time we were with a couple. He worries about me and is very protective. Seems that you are too. Good luck and I would be interested in knowing what you decide.

Vol

In the past we've done hotel dates with all of us rolling around on the same king sized bed. I have to admit is WAS sexy to have the lady all to myself. I was just worried about my sweetie. It isn't a jealousy thing. Laurie had a rough childhood and when we were engaged I promised her that I'd never let anyone take advantage of her again. It just really creeped me out that she was off, out of earshot with a man I didn't really know that well. If it was the couple we've spent more time with it wouldn't bother me a bit.

At least, I don't think it would.

[ShellyM]

Definately!! Don't give up just because of one experience. We women understand that your penis has a mind of it's own lol, and sometimes doesn't cooperate like its supposed to . Anyways, I am the same way...only with women you can't tell. Last night we went to the club, and always end up in the lounge doing our thing. I can't have an orgasm there. It feels GREAT! But with me, I have to concentrate lol, and I just can't in that environment....so, we had a great time playing, came home and had a mind blowing orgasm...........I'm thinking I had better sound proof the bedroom lol.
The kiddos were at grandmas, so we could actuall make NOISE!

[JTcamp05]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

Definately!! Don't give up just because of one experience. We women understand that your penis has a mind of it's own lol, and sometimes doesn't cooperate like its supposed to . Anyways, I am the same way...only with women you can't tell. Last night we went to the club, and always end up in the lounge doing our thing. I can't have an orgasm there. It feels GREAT! But with me, I have to concentrate lol, and I just can't in that environment....so, we had a great time playing, came home and had a mind blowing orgasm...........I'm thinking I had better sound proof the bedroom lol.
The kiddos were at grandmas, so we could actuall make NOISE!

helly you are right on this one, my wife said the same thing it's just too hard to concentrate and come close to an orgasm with too many people around. Sure its fun a time or two but we much prefer to let things move forward and seperate.

As for your "problem" I don't think its a big deal, relax enjoy and now that your more comfortable with the other copule I am sure you wont have any problems whatsoever.

[Dooode]

Jeff:

Honestly. I don't know why you're asking us. You know your comfort level. You know your wife. You know your new playfriends (enough).

What do you think? Are you comfortable enough to let it be?

Maybe I'm missing something. But this is like one of those Playboy Forum questions "Do you think I should let my girlfriend jack me off to completion?"

[gatorvol64]

Originally Posted by nice_cpl_n_bama

In the past we've done hotel dates with all of us rolling around on the same king sized bed. I have to admit is WAS sexy to have the lady all to myself. I was just worried about my sweetie. It isn't a jealousy thing. Laurie had a rough childhood and when we were engaged I promised her that I'd never let anyone take advantage of her again. It just really creeped me out that she was off, out of earshot with a man I didn't really know that well. If it was the couple we've spent more time with it wouldn't bother me a bit.

At least, I don't think it would.

I completely understand. I had a rough childhood and I know that is one of the reasons my husband is so protective. If I told him it was ok he'd believe me and then all would be well with different rooms. I would never lie to him. Actually, that isn't really the issue. After what I went through, I'd just never be able to say it was ok if it wasn't. Talk about this with her. You are the only two who can decide this.

Vol

[JP51]

hey, if you and the lady do not have the hair's on the back of your neck standing up tossing off warning signs...like other have said, keep doors open etc...and you know the lady understands all our guy issues...go with your comfort level and enjoy..

[nice_cpl_n_bama]

Originally Posted by Dooode

Jeff:

Honestly. I don't know why you're asking us. You know your comfort level. You know your wife. You know your new playfriends (enough).

What do you think? Are you comfortable enough to let it be?

Maybe I'm missing something. But this is like one of those Playboy Forum questions "Do you think I should let my girlfriend jack me off to completion?"

Well Dooode, The question you asked here ties directly into the whole single male issue. Laurie and I were 17 and 19 years old when we married and we've been married for 19 years now. This came from a place that you've never been. It isn't really a sex question as much as a relationship question.
It's a fine balancing act between giving Laurie the freedom she would want to play sexually and neglecting commitments I made to her that are the bedrock of our marriage.
Your posts have been MUCH better than the typical stuff seen from the single male, but the "Shut up and get to humping" attitude is showing here.
To clarify, I wasn't really worried too much about Laurie's safety. She was farm raised and grew up doing heavy farm chores. Her playmate was an older gentleman and frankly I think she could kick his ass easily.
In short, I want to give her the freedom to play but still be able to prevent any bad experiences that might damage her trust that I'll protect her or turn her off of the lifestyle. Any suggestions from the married folks would be much appreciated. Hope that clears up the confusion.
Jeff

[JustAskJulie]

Go with what you are comfortable with. If you feel like you are ok with seperate rooms, give it another shot. If you really prefer same room, then put your foot down.... maybe next time you can invite them to YOUR place and enjoy the comfort of the king size bed.

[Dooode]

Jeff:

Julie's "Go with what you are comfortable with." and my "Are you comfortable enough to let it be?" are not really all that different. Maybe it's a single person's view and not just a single man's.

I was married twice, the last time for 14 years (I'm hoping three times' the charm!) so it's not as tho I'm ignorant of relationships. Just ignorant enough not to make it 19 years.

But my point simply was, YOU know the people whereas we don't. So the whole question just struck me as a *shrug*.

Maybe this was one of those circumstances where I was better off just keeping my big mouth shut.

Sorry.

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by nice_cpl_n_bama

Hi Everybody,
Laurie and I were invited to a couples home for the evening this weekend.
After some nice conversation our hostess "accidentally" spilled her drink on her breasts and asked me to help clean it up. Needless to say things were going well.
As we moved along Laurie and the gentleman decided the bedroom was a little too crowded because they only had a full sized bed and Laurie and I are used to a king.
The spare bedroom was upstairs. This was a brand new couple we didn't really know very well and Laurie was out of earshot. I was constantly listening hard to make sure everything was going well upstairs. It was so distracting that... ummmm.... well... lets just say it wasn't my best performance. She was sweet about it though and insisted that I'd taken care of her nicely by other means. facelick
Laurie and I talked about it on the way home and she assured me that he was a perfect gentleman. Here's the question, I feel more comfortable with our new friends now and I think the nervousness was just because I couldn't monitor the mans behavior. Should we try it again and see if I'm more comfortable or just put our foot down and say "same room only?"
Thanks
Jeff

It took almost a couple of years before we started doing seperate rooms, and some never do. I know for me it was not fear of the other man (Mrs. WS served her time in the Army and is trained in hand-to-hand combat ) but it was more fear of what she was doing when I wasn't there. It was my insecurity, not her security.

It sounds to me like you were not really ready for seperate rooms, but this is just a hunch. From my place in the cheap seats section it seems you are using the other couple as a way to justify your anxiety about seperate rooms.

It's okay to do same room only. Many never ever do seperate rooms. Some are more comfortable with it. It is just personal preference and or comfort level. Everybody does it differently and there is no one or right way to swing. The way you do it is the right way for you. :rollseyes

So relax, stay in the same room for now and maybe down the road, with this couple or another you'll want to try seperate rooms again. If not, no big deal. This is supposed to be fun, not stressful.

Mr. WS

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by nice_cpl_n_bama

In short, I want to give her the freedom to play but still be able to prevent any bad experiences that might damage her trust that I'll protect her or turn her off of the lifestyle. Any suggestions from the married folks would be much appreciated. Hope that clears up the confusion.
Jeff

I think that you are not giving her the freedom to play. You are protecting you, not her. You are still there with her even if you aren't in the same room. Know what I mean? She can't have fun if she is constantly worried about you being worried about her. Let her make the decision, and trust her to make the right one.

Basically you can't be in two places at one time (you found that out, eh?), and if she feels comfortable enough to go away and play in another room without you then she is comfortable that nothing bad in going to happen to her. Your comment above tells me you are still protecting her out of your own fears, not hers. Now I don't know your particular situation, but this is something I've personally experienced and I am very intimate with the symptoms.

Mr. WS