Require the ultimate in discretion

[disturbed]

How discrete can you be while swinging??

We (me and better half) would not mind a bit of no-holds-barred fun once a month or so, but we must be 100% sure of preserving our identities. We are quite high in the corporate/entrepreneur ladder and are likely to become rather rich and powerful in future.


So i ask - what options do we have?? are there clubs that are totally secret - even to the extent of allowing members with face masks or similar?? do any of you know of such places?? is it possible to "hire" a "couple" - you know the way people hire hookers - only in this case a male and a female prostitute are both hired for a session, possibly from some reputed agency. that way the guy and the girl will be duty bound by the laws of the agency to keep this a secret and not sell the story to some cheap magazine or something.


If all these dont work, our last option is to find willing swingers/players from amongst our high class friends circle. or maybe go for a monetary contract with a couple or two.


Does anyone have any other options.

[disturbed]

Can someone please help?

[Concupiscence]

First of all, you might "learn" proper "punctuation" and "capitalization" rules. Then you should attempt to "refrain" from "insulting" the other "couples" here by insinuating that your "identity" and need for discretion is of greater value than those you interact with in this lifestyle.

[TNT]

My first thought is ...if you're that worried about being outed, then swinging may not be for you.

However, this may be your best bet...

Originally Posted by disturbed

our last option is to find willing swingers/players from amongst our high class friends circle.

I don't know of any clubs like you have described but, that's not saying that they aren't out there.

One thing that you will find is that there are people of all financial classes that swing...even the "rich and powerful".

Teresa

[intuition897]

Forget the monetary thing! If it ever DID come to light, which do you suppose is worse: 1) You're a kinky couple of kids who were experimenting with a threesome (or whatever), or 2) You paid prostitutes to have group sex with you and your wife.

I would recommend doing some homework and looking up reputable, high-class clubs in a neighbouring state. The odds of running into someone you know are extremely small, and even if you do...well what the hell were they doing there?? Another option is a house party. The crowd is smaller, more intimate and more exclusive. Odds of running into familiar faces are even lower. And I think (although I'm not sure) that some house party hosts will make the guest list available to you before-hand, to ensure compatibility and avoid the kind of drama you're trying to avoid. The catch is that you need to make your profile/photo/info available to the other guests as well. Fair's fair.

The other option is simply posting an ad on a site like Swinglifestyle.com (SLS). You can include photos, but blur the faces/identifying features or shoot the photo in such a way that the face is obscured (using a hat, turning the head, etc). My avatar is an example of some creative cropping. If you absolutely do NOT want to post a photo, explain your need for absolute discretion in your ad, and that any emails that do not have a face picture attached will go unanswered. It cuts down the crowd somewhat, because many people search only profiles that include pictures. Including a picture of ANYthing is better than nothing, IMO. Except dick pics. Don't post those. Or the extreme close-up pussy pics. Yeesh.

Having to be discrete sucks big time. But unfortunately people have a real problem just living and letting live. You'll probably find that, while you'll certainly run into your share of jackasses who have no business swinging, most people in the lifestyle are fairly honest and decent. Treat them right, and they'll treat you right. And the paranoia about discretion will fade a bit. You'll be in a restaurant, meeting a potential play-couple, when in walks someone from work (we've had this happen). Under your breath, you ask the play-couple to just play along, then you greet your co-worker and his wife and introduce them to your friends from [the opposite side of the continent, out of town, etc.]. They could be your former neighbours, your cousin's brother-in-law, a childhood friend that you've lost touch with for years and you're just catching up... They only know what you tell them. If you blurt out, "These are...um...my...neighbour's cousin's brother-in-law and his wife. They absolutely are NOT swingers!" you're screwed. I actually met my boss and her husband while we were out one night!

Good luck to you! And welcome to the board.

[turnuptheheat]

Notice the location of the original post is Asia.
The punctuation, spelling, etc. may be due to that.
Also, culture could dictate the tone of the email.
Asia is a pretty er, big place.
I would imagine being outed in Singapore would have different consequences than in Phuket.
As some others have said, there is a diverse crowd enjoying swinging, so go slow, be careful and see what develops.
I would imagine you will be surprised by the availability and discretion that you will encounter.
If that is still a concern, consider traveling to places like Hedonism or some other swing oriented locale.
I imagine there are some in Thailand or some other sexually uninhibited place like that.
I would think that a contractual arrangement would not fulfill your desires if swinging is really what you want.
If all you crave is sex, paid participants may do the trick (pun intended) since that is a different story altogether.

[disturbed]

Originally Posted by Concupiscence

First of all, you might "learn" proper "punctuation" and "capitalization" rules. Then you should attempt to "refrain" from "insulting" the other "couples" here by insinuating that your "identity" and need for discretion is of greater value than those you interact with in this lifestyle.

i insinuated no such thing. just pointed out that a lot more is at stake here. for example, if somone else gets found out that couple may lose their job. for me, the stock prices of my company may come down. totally different scales. please try to empathise - if you were in my position, worth many millions and with a company to your name, you would feel similarly scared at the posibility of exposure. yet, rich or not, me and my wife are no less or more human in our emotions and physical needs.

[disturbed]

Originally Posted by TNT

One thing that you will find is that there are people of all financial classes that swing...even the "rich and powerful".

Teresa

Thank you for your thoughts.

Pls understsnd that I am not trying to pull rank here. Just so happens that in the next 5-10 years I am likely to be inducted into the board of directors of many companies. Maybe be nominated for some government body as well.

[disturbed]

Originally Posted by intuition897

Forget the monetary thing! If it ever DID come to light, which do you suppose is worse: 1) You're a kinky couple of kids who were experimenting with a threesome (or whatever), or 2) You paid prostitutes to have group sex with you and your wife.

I would recommend doing some homework and looking up reputable, high-class clubs in a neighbouring state. The odds of running into someone you know are extremely small, and even if you do...well what the hell were they doing there?? Another option is a house party. The crowd is smaller, more intimate and more exclusive. Odds of running into familiar faces are even lower. And I think (although I'm not sure) that some house party hosts will make the guest list available to you before-hand, to ensure compatibility and avoid the kind of drama you're trying to avoid. The catch is that you need to make your profile/photo/info available to the other guests as well. Fair's fair.

The other option is simply posting an ad on a site like Swinglifestyle.com (SLS). You can include photos, but blur the faces/identifying features or shoot the photo in such a way that the face is obscured (using a hat, turning the head, etc). My avatar is an example of some creative cropping. If you absolutely do NOT want to post a photo, explain your need for absolute discretion in your ad, and that any emails that do not have a face picture attached will go unanswered. It cuts down the crowd somewhat, because many people search only profiles that include pictures. Including a picture of ANYthing is better than nothing, IMO. Except dick pics. Don't post those. Or the extreme close-up pussy pics. Yeesh.

Having to be discrete sucks big time. But unfortunately people have a real problem just living and letting live. You'll probably find that, while you'll certainly run into your share of jackasses who have no business swinging, most people in the lifestyle are fairly honest and decent. Treat them right, and they'll treat you right. And the paranoia about discretion will fade a bit. You'll be in a restaurant, meeting a potential play-couple, when in walks someone from work (we've had this happen). Under your breath, you ask the play-couple to just play along, then you greet your co-worker and his wife and introduce them to your friends from [the opposite side of the continent, out of town, etc.]. They could be your former neighbours, your cousin's brother-in-law, a childhood friend that you've lost touch with for years and you're just catching up... They only know what you tell them. If you blurt out, "These are...um...my...neighbour's cousin's brother-in-law and his wife. They absolutely are NOT swingers!" you're screwed. I actually met my boss and her husband while we were out one night!

Good luck to you! And welcome to the board.

Thanks very much for the welcome and the well thought of reply. You have made a lot of valid points - I wont reply to your post just yet, maybe after giving them some thought. The house party idea is good though. We dont want to become swingers really who would go to clubs and pick up a different set of people for every session. more like have a group of 6 (ie. 3 couples) trusted people - preferrably with similar reputation as us at stake (that way they would have as much at stake as us and would never think of "leaking" to some news paper or something). We are also trying to contact very high profile clubs - I am sure they have received queries from people in similar predicament as ourselves - and maybe could hook us up. But thanks again for the reply.

[disturbed]

Originally Posted by turnuptheheat

I would imagine you will be surprised by the availability and discretion that you will encounter..

I certainly do not doubt the level of discretion and the desire to remain secret amongst swingers. But please understand that others have a chance to "sell the story" or "leak the pictures" to some newspaper in our case and make a few hundred thousand USD, if not more. We can gladly pay that kind of money - as long as they are legally bound to keep shut. What we cant afford is being "outed".

[Concupiscence]

There are some things that simply do not ring true. Despite my reservations there is no requirement for you to prove anything. Feel free to ignore my distrust of your intentions for coming to this board. There are many wonderful people here who are incredibly helpful and generous with their time.

[disturbed]

Originally Posted by Concupiscence

Despite my reservations there is no requirement for you to prove anything.

there certainly isnt. thank you.

[Mike and Jan]

You just need to find folks who have the same risk of exposure as yourselves. (As much to lose)

But, also, keep in mind that that same risk factor could change with a divorce or other variables.

We all know that there are high profile couples who swing. And sometimes, like the congressman who was married to the gal from Star Trek, even they get exposed.

I think it's being extremely cautious and very honest with your partners before hand that makes you safe. For examplel,I'm almost certain that Hillary and Bill Clinton are swingers. Ever wonder about that exclusive New Year's thing at Hilton Head each year? And, I'll bet they never get exposed either. Now Bill isn't a fair swinging partner for Hillary but that's his bad. Hillary is cool! I'd love to swing with them and I absolutely would never tell under any circumstances!

[disturbed]

Thanks for the opinion.

I just wish some enterprising person would cash in on this niche' market and start a swing club exclusively to cater to the needs of "big risk/fear of exposure" types. Only people who themselves have a lot to lose reputation wise as well as financially, can participate lol. Or maybe there alreasy are such clubs and socities like that "split wide open" type, whcih we dont know of.

As a last ditch effort, we were thinking of swinging in lifelike masks or joining some kind of masked sex-party. I guess everything in life, even money and a bit of reputation, comes for a price.

[Charger500]

I work at one of those places that suck out porta potties. So being at the rock bottom of the totem pole does have it's advantages!


Actually, my real advice is if your worried about your career then swinging isn't worth it, just take up golf or somthing with your wife. Ask your self, (if what you say about being rich is correct) is a night of sex really worth $5 million or so? If you think it IS then I'd say something is seriously wrong and you need counseling.

Not being mean, just to the point

Good luck!