want to watch my wife with another guy

[c and k]

My wife and I are considering entering into the lifestyle (it sounds like your all having so much fun). My main fantisy is watching my wife with another man, is this unusal? I've talked to her about it during love making and she gets really turned on, she has issues to over come but is willing to check out a local club. Of course I would love to do a full swap but would be content with a three some or just watching. I wish I knew why I wanted to see her with another guy.

[TeamSoBe]

I am the poster child for this sort of thing, and I always try to reassure guys like you. There are plenty of guys that feel the way that we both do, and I personally think that it's perfectly healthy.

Here's how I think of it: my wife is my personal porn star. She turns me on and I love to see her get sexual. One of my biggest frustrations during normal one-on-one sex with her is that it's hard for me to see her getting freaky because I'm up so close to her that I can't see anything. Sometimes I really like to sit back and watch her while somebody else works her over. My absolute favorite porn flicks are the ones with little Asian girls that remind me of my wife, and I get off the hardest when I imagine that the little porno girl is my wife and that I'm watching her put on a show for me with some other guy.

So no, you aren't alone. We are especially fortunate in that there is an army of guys that are eager to jump in and satisfy our fantasies for us. If your wife likes sex at all then she will figure out soon enough that she's pretty lucky to have a guy that likes to sit back and watch her have fun.

Here's an irony: I love being with new girls as much as any guy, I'm not the impotent guy that is always sitting there and watching. A big problem for me though, is that if we get with a couple, a big part of what I get out of that is watching my wife with the other guy. Screwing the other girl can actually be sort of an irritating distraction for me because I enjoy watching so much. It's one of the reasons why we avoid swapping off and then going at it simultaneously, because then I miss out on watching and get all irritated afterward because I missed it.

Oh, and I have grumbled at least once or twice after spectacularly fun MFM threesomes because she and the other guy insisted on keeping the lights so low that I couldn't see them during the sex. Some straight guys just need that for their homophobia or whatever, but I just hate that. I am bisexual but it has nothing to do with wanting to watch him, I just want to be able to see her.

[sportync]

A woman never looks more beautiful than when in the throes of passion, and if you are the one providing that passion, it does indeed limit your view of the goings on. I have seen my wife while being pleasured by others, and it is a real turn on. Her favorite, though, seems to be having me and another guy pleasure her at the same time, which is a thrill for both of us. I find it almost as exciting as having two women pleasure me at the same time. Face it, there are things that two couples together can do to each other that is beyond the realm of what just two people can do together. To me, that is pretty much my reasoning for being attracted to swinging...it's an opportunity to explore things that go beyond what you can do as a couple. It isn't really about taggin' some strange, it's about sharing special joy and collective fantasies with your partner. Sportync

[TeamSoBe]

For me, what I seek in swinging is three different things in roughly equal parts: getting a charge out of watching my wife act slutty, exploring the fun stuff that a group can do that a couple can't, and tagging unexplored pussy. I'll be honest, tagging unexplored pussy is a factor for me, but I didn't get around much before I got married.

But yes, in the realm of watching your wife, it's exciting for at least two different reasons. One is that watching girls fuck is fun, there is a giant porn industry to prove that. When you're swinging though, you're not just watching some random stranger girl get freaky, you're watching somebody that you care about. You lust after her sexuality but you also empathize with the pleasure that she's getting. If you have a good communication level going on with your wife then she knows how much you enjoy watching her fuck and she puts on a show for you as much as she enjoys the situation, which is even more erotic. You're watching a live action porn show that features a girl that you love and empathize with who is acting out specifically to turn you on, and you know full well that you're going to get to fuck her afterward.

Jeesh, just thinking about this is making me all flustered. C&K, the answer to your question is a resounding "No, not unusual at all". Enjoy the thrill.

[c and k]

I was wondering what it would be like to swap wives and thought it might take away from watching my wife have sex. Do couples usually take turns or does everyone go at it at the same time? What happens to you. I would hate to affend the women by watching my wife while having sex.

[TeamSoBe]

Like I said, I have the same problem. I like tagging a new hottie as much as the next guy, but I really hate to miss seeing my wife have sex. There is no universal protocol for what you're 'supposed' to do, and half of the fun is flirting and figuring out what you're going to do. If you can communicate to everybody involved what you're looking for, then you can get it.

Here is something that works for me, when I'm flirting with a girl, I will tell her about how much I love watching my wife have fun. Girls are normally after my wife anyway, so the topic kind of naturally comes up. I can normally sell them on the idea of sitting back and sending her man after my wife and just enjoying the show together. It helps me to bond a little with the girl, and it's sexy. The really exciting parts for me are in the beginning anyway, the foreplay, the initial penetration, all of the early stuff. After watching a little of that I want to have a little fun myself, and I conveniently am sitting next to an unoccupied girl that I just watched a live action porn show with. It all works out well, and as long as she is in on the game and knows why I'm not attacking her she isn't offended.

If it's too much of a complication though, screw it, just do a threesome with a guy friend. It's ridiculously simple to set up a threesome with a guy friend if that's what you want to do as a couple.

[darling]

You say your wife gets hot during sex when you mention wanting to see her with another man. Keep in mind that sometimes the dirty talk during sex is a turnon, but the woman may have no intention of actually doing it. You need to sit down and talk to her when you are NOT in the middle of passionate lovemaking.

My husband will say outragous things during sex and it really turns me on, but some of it, I wouldn't consider actually doing.

[studyingthestyle]

I'm so glad I found this thread. The emotion you guys are talking about with watching your wives is one of the biggest reasons my wife and I are exploring these possibilities. I am not sure if Mrs Sparky believes me when I tell her that part of the reason I want to start swinging is to see her be pleasured. Yes part is for me wanting to tag a new piece, but MY fantasies are more of her getting tagged.

I'm glad to see I'm not the only "sicko" out there. Like Teamsobe said it is my love for my wife and my desire to see her experience pleasure to its fullest extent that draws me in.

Mr Sparky

[RnKin Fla]

I just have to throw my 2 cents in here. It is not just guys getting turned on watching their wives.

I, personally, LOVE to see R get freaky with another girl. It is a HUGE turn on for me. And I like to watch her reactions to him as well. It just so incredibly erotic.

[Alura]

I met my wife almost twenty-three years ago. My fantasies since that time have always included her. There are often other people involved but she is always the main attraction. I, like TeamSoBe, would like to cuddle with another man's wife while we watch her husband and my wife drive each other up the wall. Most of the time we've played at the same time and a lot has been missed.

Mr. Alura

[houstonhubby]

We've been married 35 years. After the first year of marriage, on our first anny, we swapped with a couple we worked with. While I really liked fucking his wife, especially in front of her husband and my wife, I liked watching them do it more. Often times his wife would get pissed at me because I wanted to wait for our spouses to finish before we got started other than petting.

Not long after that he, David, started coming by the house without his wife to have some of mine. I was always there, but not in the same room. One day he came by and Betty was not there, so he said if I did not mind he could come in and have a drink or three while we waited fo her.

Long story short, he and I wound up with each other. Betty walked into the bedroom and caught us in a 69. Just as she came in he filled my mouth with his cum and I did not miss a drop. Instead of gettng mad she got naked and we've been doing threesomes with other men since then.

There is no quesiton I enjoy watching her with another man or woman than I enjoy fucking itself. I don't kwow why we are the way we are, but it if good clean fun and no body gets hurt.

I am oral bi only in the threesome setting.

Bill

[HondaXL350]

Well, I would have to say I like watching my wife with other guys too. Even much more than watching her with girls. We have been swinging for about 5-6 yrs. & our first experiences were with friends of mine. I guess it's cuz I like seeing her pleased sexually. I don't mind sharing with another guy either. We don't swing often, but we enjoy it when we do.... couples or singles. If we hook up with a female that she likes, I can forget about any action cuz my wife keeps her to herself, LOL. There's a story behind that, but you'll have to ask her :-)

Steve
(AKA: Mr Julie)

[JS12]

Were new to the lifestyle, but this is one of the many reason why we chose to pursue it. I know I would love to see my wife getting hammed by another guy. My God, what a turn on!! So, she and have talked in detail about this. She had said for her first time, she would like to be alone with him. Is this a normal thing?
JS

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by JS12
Were new to the lifestyle, but this is one of the many reason why we chose to pursue it. I know I would love to see my wife getting hammed by another guy. My God, what a turn on!! So, she and have talked in detail about this. She had said for her first time, she would like to be alone with him. Is this a normal thing?
JS

Yes this is a normal thing. After all the talking we did about it and as neat as it all sounded, I (Lori) was actually afraid of how I would react and how my husband would react on the first time. Although we were with a couple, I think the emotions are the same. We did end up all together the first time and it was pretty cool. We learned that we enjoyed watching each other, neither of us was jealous and we had a good time.

I think what she has is first time jitters, I highly recommend though that you stay together the first time. There are many reasons for this as you will learn how each of you feel about the experience and for safety measures, especially if it isn't someone you know. You can't have that experience if she goes at it alone and since you are new to swinging, knowing how you both feel about it is a very important part of the learning experience that should not be skipped.

Lori

[b smith]

For me, this fantasy has come true in a mmf threesome. The thought of doing it again and remembering the experience still turns my wife on. Since the encounter the other male and us have moved to different towns, due to the distance it would be almost impossible to hook up again. We are currently discussing finding someone else but haven't talked through all of it yet.

My recommendation is to take it slow and don't push her into it. Also ask yourself why does this idea arouse you (note: there is absolutely nothing wrong with the fantasy. I believe it is a very common fantasy among men in relationships). There are many reasons but only you can understand what motivates you. Once you do understand then it will make it easier for you to discuss with her your feelings on the subject and hopefully make her comfortable talking about her feelings to you. Communication is the key for a successful encounter.