Finally considering swinging in order to save my marriage

[Merric]

Firstly I want to thank all of you here for your depth of understanding. You especially Mr. and Mrs steyr for not blowing up, though admittedly from the initial post I didn’t have the information given that later showed me my error. So again I apologize for jumping to conclusions.

If any of you read my Swingers board intro you know after I got out of Vietnam I was still hungry for adventure. (War can do that to a man)

After my discharge in Vallejo I took to associating with bikers. Even was close buddy’s with one who was prospect for the Hell’s Angels. So in passing knew a couple of them as well.

Don’t get me wrong. Long as you don’t stupidly screw with them (bikers) they really are like anyone else. And I can’t emphasize that enough. Then too contrarily with the mythology surrounding bikers there is a constant genre of under the surface danger all the time. Something that is almost forced on them to live up to the outside worlds views of them. Rather ingrained by society you might say.

Perhaps part of my attraction. *L* in regards to all this as far as relationships I even once saw a guy sell his old lady to the man she’d cheated on him with for a pack of smokes. Marlboro’s. Course she had a black eye when he sold her but . . . Maybe that’s why I settled things as fast as I did when the women I was speaking of cheated on me. In such an environment sometimes violence in such a matter can be an expected thing. Anyway rest assured nothing more come of either of my gf’s infidelities than what I said. While my current wife was also a girlfriend of that era. Also a “biker babe” *L* So all that happened long, long ago some thirty years past since I’m fifty three now. Regardless of which about fifteen years ago she admitted having cheated with a man at her work.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m no angel. But somehow have simply found the strength to resist temptations when put in those situations. Anyway living in San Francisco probably the most expensive city in the US it takes our combined income to get by. However she is aware once I become financially solvent I will be leaving. And no not just for her infidelity but because of a lot of other things between us.

I have to say all these experiences including my own temptations is what made me start researching swinging. Because yes I have become more than aware we are sexual creatures and that unfaithfulness often has nothing to do with lack of love for a spouse but is just our nature to be attracted to other people. Maybe why the second gf tried so hard to talk to me after the fact, but what can I say the only world any of us knew was monogamy.

As for now take my word for it my mind is clear on this and my next wife or girlfriend will be made quite aware that the first priority between us must be honesty and communication and that she must never fear to let me know her feelings or desires. As most certainly I shall let her know mine.

And now that you folks have mentioned my cynicism perhaps your right and I do yet have that all stuck in the back of my mind. So I really want to thank you all for the help and understanding. I shall try and work on seeing all posts with a bit more of a positive attitude. Again thank you all a great deal.


*L* And I have to agree with Mike and Jan, as already stated your wife steyr is the very sort of honest and straight forwards kind of woman I will be looking for. So once more I wish you and Mrs steyr all the best

Hmm just having vented here I think has done me a world of good. Thanks again all for having helped take a load of my shoulders. *L* But seeing how this is steyr ‘s thread I now turn it back over to him.

[DBL D]

Whew!!! Pretty awesome thread. It's not often we get both sides presented and I thank the Steyr's for it.

I can understand the way the lady Steyr felt. We go through fazes where we just want to put the past behind us. Sometimes we can and sometimes we can't. You are to be congratulated for having true discussion about this subject and going from there.

What your lady is trying to tell you is that there are a whole butt-load of us that feel that sexual relationships with other people is a good thing for our marriages, even if it didn't look like it at first. Trust and Love of each other is the glue that you will be able to use to paste everything together.

Male D