Does she want to swing?

[Voyager1022]

I can’t tell for sure if my wife wants to have another male join us for a tryst. I hope I don’t bore you with the details, but I need to give you a little background first. My wife and I have been married for over 5 wonderful years, a second marriage for both of us. She’s 47 and I’m 51. She is a true knockout at 5’ 8”, 130#, hard body, shoulder length blond hair, and the longest sexiest legs you have ever seen. Our sex life is beyond description, but has been monogamous. Besides all of that, we are best friends and can spend hours talking. I will call her Sonya (primarily because that is what she wishes her parents had named her. Just a little more background here. Sonya grew up in a very strict religious environment, no television, no movies, etc., etc. She married into a situation that was much the same and then finally after 18 unhappy years of marriage, it ended. I’m the lucky guy that ended up with her and I am thankful for that everyday.

Okay, this is the situation. This all started a couple years ago when we saw a news documentary on television about swingers and we joked with each other about going to swingers club. It came up in conversation from time to time after that, sometimes when we were making love. She began buying more and more sexy clothes, including some leather jacket and leather skirt outfits. It got around to the point that we ended up going to a club party here in Michigan where she wore a red leather jacket and skirt outfit that was dynamite. The dance was just okay, but it was only about 20 couples, and although some guys hit on her, she wasn’t especially taken with anyone.

On several occasions after that, we would go out for the evening and we would joke about her flirting with guys which she did ……. and of course the response from other men was always fairly aggressive, which is a bit of a turn off for her. On one occasion, we agreed for her to take off her wedding rings. She went into a nightclub first without me and when I came in 10 minutes later, she was already deeply engaged with a guy at the bar. When I came in and sat down next to her, she introduced me to him as her “co-worker”. They continued their conversation with him continuing to make small advances like touching her arm, her bare thigh, admiring her clothes (she was wearing a shimmery medium blue satin suit with a very short skirt and very low cut top under her jacket). When she got up to use the ladies room, he rose too and he kissed her, first softly then more passionately. It made me so horny. She returned his kisses and they embraced. The conversation after that turned to him trying to get her to agree to go back to his place with him. Our discussion in advance of this didn’t get to the possibility that this would happen and so she turned him down. Finally, when he saw he wasn’t going to change her mind, he (and a couple of guys at the bar he was there with) started to say their goodbyes to “Sonya”, one admiring her outfit causing her to stand and remove jacket, pirouetting in her high heels so the three of them could get a good look. My wife and the guy kissed again, long passionate kissing.

That night, her and I had out of the world sex …… over and over. At one point, I pretended to be the guy at the bar and she loved it. Again the next morning, I was “George” and the sex was more intense than I could remember.

For months after when were making love, I would pretend to be “George” or some “tall dark stranger” and she would just go over the edge.

Then late last year, we took a trip out west, and we talked about meeting up with a stranger in a bar. The talk continued and she was sure to pack some of her sexiest outfits. The second night we were there, we went out to a hot nightclub and we sat at the bar. She wore a sexy powder blue leather skirt and jacket with a low cut sliver blouse and sexy blue high heels. It was crowded and the music was thundering loud. A guy at the bar engaged her in conversation and she began with her flirting routine, even telling him that her husband liked to see her flirt with men. Then he asked her to dance and off they went to do some of the most sensuous and hot “dirty dancing” I had ever seen. I could see them kissing on the dance floor and I sat at the bar getting hornier and hornier. When they got back, conversation continued and when I returned from the men’s room, they were at the bar passionately kissing each other. I stopped and watched from behind a pillar, and went on and on. They both seemed to enjoy it immensely. When I sat down, Sonya said that Brad offered to show us something at his office, a project he was working on, and she seemed eager to go and off we went. We followed him to his place and Sonya asked me, “Do you want me to fuck him?” I told her that it would really turn me on if she did, but she was the one that had to want it. She said that she thought it would go against her religious beliefs.

We picked Brad up at his place where he dropped off his car and then slid into the backseat behind Sonya to go to his office. They talked and laughed and I could tell there was a lot of chemistry going on. When we got to his office, I asked to use the restroom where I admittedly lingered to give them some additional time alone. When I came out, they were fully embracing each other and passionately kissing. When he saw me, he stopped. As he was showing us his project (which I won’t describe here but say that it was very intriguing) we put his arms around Sonya, brushed his cheek against hers, rubbed her back, all of which she seemed to respond positively.

We got back into the car and the two of them held hands all the was back to his place, the conversation including how his ex girlfriend had always wanted to have a another guy make love to her while he watched. When we got his place, he invited us in for a drink, which Sonya eagerly responded affirmatively. She sat at one end of the sofa and I at the other end engaged in conversation for awhile before I was again feigned needing the men’s room. I stayed in there an inordinate amount of time to allow them opportunity to be alone. When I emerged close to 15 minutes later, they were making out very passionately, but once again he stopped when he knew I was there. I said, “Please don’t stop on my account ….. this turns me on. They resumed the deep French kissing for a bit then he finally sat back. We chatted a bit more but it was getting very late and Sonya said, “We should call it a night”. The 3 of made plans to meet the following evening for dinner and Sonya promised Brad to wear a pink leather outfit. They embraced again and kissed for a very long time before we finally left.

Once in the car, the conversation began pouring out. She told me that while I was in the bathroom and they were kissing, he said to her that she should leave before he ripped her clothes off. She told me that she told him she was a happily married woman. He asked her to see how hard he was and she rubbed his cock, telling me he was huge. More conversation, and she told me she was hesitant because of her values, but she admitted she wondered how it would feel to have him kiss her pussy the way he was kissing her lips. (She told me he was a fantastic kisser) She said she also wondered about and didn’t know if he had condoms available. We went back to our hotel and made incredible love together, me pretending to be Brad and her screaming his name as we made love. The next morning, she asked me how I would feel if she developed an emotional bond with him, and when I asked her what she meant …… friendship kind of bond or a more loving bond …..or what. She said she didn’t know how far it could escalate, but she said she wouldn’t fuck someone if there was some kind of bond. I told her, I understood that, but our love had to come first with no close seconds to which she agreed.

Then believe it or not, Brad called and cancelled our meeting for that evening, but insisted he wanted to see us again. I think the fact of the matter was that he was falling in love with Sonya. We were unable to arrange another meeting before we left, but Sonay and I talked to him by phone and he told her too that he wants to see us again if we come back.

Since that time, Sonya and I have fantasized about him making love to her and it always seems to turn her on. Though we have his phone number, we only attempted to call him once while we were making love, but ended up in his voice mail and obviously didn’t leave any moans or screams in his mailbox.

So …… I apologize for the length of this, but I wanted to give enough information to ask for input on my question.

Does she really want a guy to join us for a tryst?

I don’t know for sure, but we have talked again about going out to clubs to flirt and she seems excited at the idea, telling me she can’t wait to dress up in something sexy.

Any input would be welcome.

[NandTfromCA]

From what you have written, you both really want to.

But, whether you two SHOULD really go through with it is another question:

Are you willing to let one/both of them feel some heartbreak because they fall for eachother (she said something about needing to have feelings for the person)? For us, we like to have some sort of feelings for people that we play with but it is certainly not romantic love...more like respect and fondness. Heartbreak (angst-filled emotional attachment or whatever you might call it) sucks!

The fantasy has sounded so good. Are you confident the reality will be as good?

Is she going to beat herself up over being a “slut” afterwards (“it would go against her religious beliefs”)?

You may have positive answers to all of those questions but make sure you explore them. I’m sure others on here will have other ideas for you as well.

Good luck! Have fun!

[intuition897]

Hi Voyaer, Welcome to the board!

You and your wife seem to have an awesome relationship, fully honest and loving, selfless...and a lot of fun. I think perhaps your wife simply needs to understand a couple of things: 1) How to separate love and sex, and 2) how to come to reconcile her religious beliefs with her real life.

There are many, many, MANY threads here on these subjects. All you have to do is look for them. Use the search feature in the top navigation menu (top of the page). You both have a good foundation to start from, but I would caution you both to refrain from involving anyone else further until your wife can be absolutely certain that she will not - cannot - allow any other emotional attachment to interfere with your relationship. What you suggested to her is more in line with polyamory, because you are not closed to the idea of her fostering other long-term emotional committments.

The difficulty with religious issues is another difficult one, because it is so deeply ingrained. It is all the more difficult because, if she was raised in a strictly traditional Christian home, the rest of society here in North America is more or less aligned with these puritanical values, and there is very little support when it comes to questioning those values...except here, that is. It's really a simple matter of looking at the question of adultery, and taking it a step beyond by asking yourself - truly - WHY is adultery wrong. And no fair just saying, "Because the Bible says so." You have to define for yourself why the Bible would say it's wrong.

Another thing to consider (perhaps not now, but down the road) is the possibility that you may wish to have her reciprocate by including another woman in your play. It would be good to consider the potential repercussions, such as this, of opening Pandora's Box.

[Voyager1022]

Thank you NandTfromCA and Intuition,

On your question NandTfromCA if I am willing to let one/both of them feel some heartbreak because they fall for each other because she said something about needing to have feelings for the person. Yes, I am okay with that because I know the love we have is so deep and solid. I don’t feel any jealousy nor have I on those occasions when she was receiving so much attention from others. I truly want her to experience new feelings, mostly because of the sheltered life she had for so many years. I know she will most likely develop some feelings for someone she engages in lovemaking, and would be surprised if she did not. I think it may scare her a bit because our marriage is the first time in her life she has felt such an emotional bond, and she doesn’t want that threatened. I liked your characterization of it being more like respect and fondness. Perhaps if you read what I am writing next, it will make more sense.

Intuition, you said that another thing to consider (perhaps not now, but down the road) is the possibility that you may wish to have her reciprocate by including another woman in your play. It would be good to consider the potential repercussions, such as this, of opening Pandora's Box. We had several discussions about that early on, and although it was a consideration at one point, she has pretty much said that it would make her uncomfortable to see me with another woman. That fine with me because I am most interested in her life experiences and happiness. If she feels differently later on, then so be it. But I think this goes back to what I said earlier about emotional bonds. She may feel a bit threatened about me developing an emotional bond with another woman. If that concerns her, then I respect that although I know there is no one that could replace her.

Thank you both for the input and if you have something else, please share.

[intuition897]

Wow, things sound rock-solid from where I'm standing. I congratulate you both on the health of your relationship! They say some people are just not born for monogamy, and it seems to me that you fit that category (if you don't mind me categorizing you ). I've likened it to two different kinds of flowers. Some flowers do very well in a six-inch pot on the windowsill; they are content there and love that things remain the same from one year to the next. They like being sheltered from the elements and thrive there. Then there are other flowers who may very well start out healthily in their six-inch pot on the window sill, but being sunflowers, they can only grow so much there. These flowers do much better if they are outside where they can sink their roots in deep and stretch up as tall as they please...without the confinement of a pot that just doesn't fit. And they prefer to be exposed to the elements.

Maybe I should've picked a perennial rather than an annual for my analogy, but you get the idea.

If you are that confident in your relationship - and many swingers would be envious of such confidence! - and you are not afraid that your wife might make a poor decision to leave such an obviously loving mate for another, then I say you probably have a lot of fun in store for you both. What a great way to live life!

I encourage you to ask your wife to browse the board, too. We're a nice bunch and we're very pro-marriage/relationship. She's sure to find plenty of information, advice, answers, and thought-provoking posts. We're looking forward to meeting her.

[LOL_OMG]

Thank you for the post, I didn't find it boring at all. There have been some great comments made that I would agree to. I would only add that there is a level of trust to a tryst (please don't mind the pun...it's my way). Trust in your wife and the bond you two have is paramount. I definately would encourage her to read these boards as well, it's been so helpful to us.

Just an added note, I was impressed with all of the clothing you remembered your wife wearing. Heck I can't hardly remember what I wore yesterday, I almost thought this was a made-up story.

Mrs LOL

[BigDave]

Your initial post was erotic enough to get me hard while I was reading it.
Maybe to avoid your wife falling for another guy, you should limit your experiences to far away places and make sure to "change partners" often.
With my wife and I taking the same route as you two, we simply progressed very slowly and to her comfort level.
Maybe next time, she will allow the guy to take her top off, or rub his cock while you're there.
Have you ever thought of coming up behind her while she is kissing the guy and kissing her neck and pressing your body into her allowing her to feel the both of you together at the same time?
I did this the first time and she got so turned on! When I took her hand while she was kissing him and actually placed it on his cock it was all over and the three of us went into the bedroom for the best sex of our lives.... til that time.