Morality and swinging.

[wolfmaiden]

I am curious if some of you had a moral issue when deciding to swing. If so how did you over come this?????

[NandTfromCA]

I'm not sure if it's something you "overcome". I think you either evolve into being sure that it is wrong (for you at least), or evolve into being sure that it is not.

That evolution depends on your personal philosophy on life as well as external influencers such as your friends, family, and this forum. And time.

[Paphian]

Originally Posted by wolfmaiden

I am curious if some of you had a moral issue when deciding to swing. If so how did you over come this?????

Considering that this is something that most of society frowns upon, people's reactions when starting to swing vary with how invested they are in conforming to the 'societal norm'. Some folks have lots of guilt, some none.

I'm down near the "none" end of the scale. As swinging is a consenting act between adults, and assuming that all parties enter into it freely, no one is harmed in the process. That meets my primary criterion for a permissible act, regardless whether society approves.

[havefuninsun]

Good question. If either Mr. Fun or I were being hurt in this process, I'd say it was morally wrong for us. What is interesting is that when we started talking about this process, what I personally perceived as a "moral" issue was not even in my thought process.

I find people who cheat on others as being morally wrong (someone is gonna get hurt). I think crimes against society are morally wrong (someone is gonna get hurt). I think drug trafficking is wrong (someone just might get hurt); I feel recreational use of drugs not immoral, although it is something I would never do.

For me, what is morally wrong completely stems on whether someone will be hurt in some choice another person makes. So for some, swinging is totally morally wrong for them.

[lovedoctor]

I've had some mmmmm oral issues but no moral issues! Sorry for the pun!

[NakedInSeattle]

It's as simple as this. If you can seperate sex (also spelled fun and pleasure) from love, you're half-way there. If you are playing together with your partner or at least with full knowledge of your partner, then there is no cheating and no one is harmed - that is the other half. Where does morality enter into it? For us, this is 'nuff said.

[JM153]

Isn't it like any other moral or ethical issue? In life issues arise that we as individuals have to decide whether they involve morals and if they do what is moral for us. Some decide this based upon what the community they are in believes and some based on their own thought processes and belief systems. As we know these systems are developed over our lifetime and change from time to time. I was raised in an environment in which swinging would be condemed as immoral. As I lived life and explored my own beliefs I came to the position that sex with others than my spouse was not immoral, but how I did it would make it moral or immoral. For example having an affair is lying and cheating on my spouse and would be immoral. However, swinging with her full participation is not immoral.

For some people the question is very easy to answer and doesn't require a second thought. On the other hand, many people will need some time to figure out what is right for them. This is an individual process that only you can do. Since you raise the question, you need to do it. And actually it is a process that both you and your partner need to do. If it is important to one then it is important to both. Talking out your beliefs with each other can be one of the most satisfying things you can do. You learn a great deal about yourself and your partner. Good Luck.
JM

[BiloxiCouple]

I have moral issues with alot of religions.

[fun4Ds]

we might have had a moral issue way before our swinging lives .


but not now. facelick

[intuition897]

I used to. Told Mr. intuition that I didn't want to do it because it felt dirty. It wasn't until I started exploring exactly WHY it made me feel dirty or like a whore, that I realized that it was a matter of miscommunication. Of misunderstanding of motives. After I looked at nothing more than the rightness or wrongness of it, and objectively asked what it is about it that was so terribly wrong, I could find nothing immoral about it.

I had a problem with the conflict it created with my religious beliefs, but after much meditation on this, and exploration of the definition of adultery from a biblical standpoint, I came to believe that God has got bigger things to worry about than the micromanagement of our bodily functions. As long as we can be sure that we are not harming ourselves or others in ANY way (emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally...) then I can't understand why God would have a problem with us engaging in something that has been such a positive experience for all involved?? And I just can't blindly follow something. My mind is a precious resource, and it would be irresponsible of me to dedicate it to anything without fully exploring the validity of that path. So bearing that reasoning in mind, I'm sure God wouldn't object to a little cross-examination. He's got truth on His side, right? What does He have to hide?

Although many believe that "successful" swingers are only deluding themselves and rationalizing to avoid the guilt of engaging in their abhorrent behaviour...but I really do not feel that I am! I truly, honestly believe that what we are doing is not harmful to anyone. And to those who would be offended by knowing about it, we would say nothing. It simply falls into the category of TMI: Too Much Information. We don't not tell people about our hobby because we are ashamed of it; frankly, we'd love to just be completely open about our preferences. We keep it to ourselves because we wish to avoid offending others or avoid making them uncomfortable.

Go to the menu at the top of the page, wolfmaiden, and click Search. Type in the word morality and see what you find. This topic has been discussed many many times here.

[DBL D]

I think the moral thing has to do with what you actually think as a human being. If it's a bad thing for you, then it probably is. No one can change your mind or try to disuade you from your beliefs, only YOU can....but if you are playing some game, then it becomes a hunter/adversarial kind of situation, and that's not a good thing.

M.D.

[singleagain]

Societal norms dictate that love is measured in terms of sex, or sex is a by-product of love. Neither is true. Intuition897 is right. Morality is largely a matter of (mis) communication. I, too, have studied the idea of adultery in light of the Bible and in light of society. The Bible dictates that adultery is an act of taking another’s spouse without consent. Society dictates that adultery is an act of sex between two people one or both of which is married to someone other that the one with whom they are copulating whether consent is given or not.

How does one then determine what is moral or immoral? Society will never give a perfect definition of these matters because of the imperfection of humans and our thought processes. Only a perfect person can dictate morality. Since God is the only perfect person then only He can set moral standards. These are his moral standards:

1 – Love God
2 – Love others
3 – Do nothing that would offend others.

Since, as a Christian, all things are lawful for me then I am not immoral when I have sex with another consenting adult. And if that adult is married and has the consent of their spouse, then they have done nothing immoral. If, however, my action offends anyone else, then I am committing an immoral act. Therefore I must always be careful to practice my free acts only with those who are in agreement. I must always refrain from imposing my acts of freedom on those who disagree. Adultery is immoral. Sex between and among consenting adults is not. As NakedInSeattle says, its “fun and pleasure.”