What Do We Say to close the deal?

[JM153]

We have been lurking on the borad for awhile and have found the advice to be very thoughtful and helpful. Because of your excellent advice, we decided I should bring this question to the board for your help. My partner and I have attended a few on premisis clubs and find them erotic and a lot of fun. But we are having a problem closing the deal as they say in the sales world. We meet couples that we would like to play with and have good conversation, just as we would in the vanila world. But what we don't know is how to move it to the play room. We would welcome any guidance on how or what you do/say or would like done/said to move from the bar to the play room?
Thanks in advance.
JM

[curiousR]

not that im real experienced but no one has responded yet... so in the past i noticed that as clothing begins to shed there comes a moment that the bedroom is an obvious choice. also, the more touching that occurrs with the invited the more the message "i want to play" is received. i feel the female needs to be the one to initiate things because most men are ready all the time and are generally are ready at "hello". women on the other hand, usually need to warm up... i mean moisten up. but as sexual tension builds, the bedroom seems to have its own gravity. also, still if that does not work, becoming handsey and or oral... kissing, sucking different sexxxy parts (lips, neck, hands/fingers, wrists, schlongs...) is a definate turn on and again, there comes a point where the bedroom is the only alternative. happy hunting, bob

[JM153]

Thanks Bob for the response. We have talked about who should take the lead and have agreed she should be one who does so and that she should ask the other woman whether they are interested in playing. What I think you are saying is that we should become more aggessive in making our wishes known.
JM

[CuriousInOregon]

Why not try an Off Premesis club? You can go there wander the coridors meet some Great people and if you dont click no harm no foul, at least you met some nice people, And if you do click then you find a nice room, or go back to someones place.

[JM153]

We might give an off premises club a shot. We really like the erotic atmosphere of an on premises club, though. And we always have each other, so we never go home without getting layed. facelick Any other suggestions are welcome.
JM

[tribbles]

This is what happened to us once.

The male of the other couple told both of us they were going to the group room and did we want to come watch?

We did and then we played with each other so that everyone was playing and watching and it just naturally flowed into more playing, starting with a simple "can I touch your breasts"? question from one of the males on the bed.

S

[MsJM153]

Well, JM and I (MsJM) attended our favorite on-premises club last night armed with SwingersBoard information and encouragement and successfully navigated our way into the world of FMF! We left our hesitancy and shyness at the door and entered bravely. I approached people rather than waiting for them to approach me, and JM used his "charm." Our experience was pleasant (to say the least) and we are doing "post-play analysis" to understand what we did right and what we can do additionally next time--because we are already looking forward to a next time. Thanks for your advice: curious R, CuriousinOregon, and tribbles. MsJM

[lovedoctor]

I find humor works well, after you have flirted and touched enough that you know you want to play with the couple.

"Let's go back and see what they're doing on the other side of the fence..."

"Ready to watch some action? I know ya'all have inspired us ::wink:: We're ready if you are..."

"Let's take this party to the other side if you are ready. We can sit over there and watch, or go directly past go -Do not collect $200 ::laugh and wink::"

Just be light and easy. Realize that the other couple is as nervous as you are. Humor helps. Don't be afraid to be told no... and you will probably hear yes more than you think!

[WesternSwing]

Whatever you say don't use "So are you interested or what?" That line was used on us Saturday night. It didn't work and now he has blocked us on the swingers site he contacted us on and on IM.

Like others have said, keep it light. If everyone is gellin' you won't have to say much more then "how'd you like to go in the next room?"

Mr. WS

[CoupleInLove]

I was just logging on to ask a simlar question. We visit on-premises clubs in Vegas. We have the great conversations but I think we talk too long and the others think we are stalling. We asked advise from a club host and were surprised to hear that we were very attractive and maybe we're intimidating. We are older and don't consider ourselves attractive, passible maybe, but not the OMG gorgeous couple.

My wife, who makes friends at the drop of a hat, is very self-conscious. She dosen't want to appear as though she is on the prowl. We usually get picked, and often by someone I would not have persued. Or, in a public play area, by the random couple we flop next to when we play by oursleves. We have had some goodtimes with couples we have not spoken a word to or exchanged names!

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by JM153

we are having a problem closing the deal as they say in the sales world.

The best thing I've ever heard was a woman who said - after we (the four of us) had chatted for awhile - "I like you. Want to play?"

It was bold - it was direct - and it worked like a charm. Now, two and a half years later, we don't like them very much, but what a memory. Now, we have pretty much simplified our approach to just tossing it out there. "We like you - and we'd love to take things further. We are going to dance so you guys can talk. If you're interested, come let us know."

Simple - direct - and gives them an out should they want one.

Spoomonkey

[MsJM153]

I think we sometimes "talk too long" also. As CoupleInLove mentioned about meeting people, I (MsJM) can (and have) carried on conversations with house plants! I have no problem striking up and carrying on conversations, but I'm not experienced enough in asking the all important question---All of your suggestions are helpful and I shall do my best to follow them. This forum is a wonderful place to learn the ropes without being worried about being laughed at or being embarrassed. Thanks, and I'm already working on my next question to the experts!

[cumhungrycouple]

Originally Posted by JM153

We have been lurking on the borad for awhile and have found the advice to be very thoughtful and helpful. Because of your excellent advice, we decided I should bring this question to the board for your help. My partner and I have attended a few on premisis clubs and find them erotic and a lot of fun. But we are having a problem closing the deal as they say in the sales world. We meet couples that we would like to play with and have good conversation, just as we would in the vanila world. But what we don't know is how to move it to the play room. We would welcome any guidance on how or what you do/say or would like done/said to move from the bar to the play room?
Thanks in advance.
JM

Hi, a hotel meeting is prob best IMHO if nervous. Then can relax and less "performance issues". Have fun!

[fun4Ds]

So what do you say ? How do you make "the move" to getting it on ?

[oncewere]

One suggestion is to find a couple you like, who you can talk to and just ask them. Tell them you are very new to this and ask them how you should move things from the bar to the room.They'll at least give you some ideas and might show you how to do it.

If you ask the host or hostess they would most probably help you out too.