What the hell is Vanilla?

[northindycpl]

Originally Posted by adventureUS2

So if we were to convert our vanilla freinds to swingers would that be considered a vanilla extract

That is pretty cute!

[funtoplay]

mmmmmmmmmmmmm....mocha....although i prefer mocha fudge lmao

[adventureUS2]

On a seriouse note

My wife and I have always wondered if my mother and step father were swingers( yes my first though is EEEWWWW MOM!!!!!!!!!!!) We have seen a few things that leed us to believe they do. Although we are curiouse as hell I don't think I really want to know We were over their house a few days a go and the subject of marriage and monogamy came up. My step father must have used the term vanilla a half dozen times. You could only imagine the looks on the Mrs and my faces. As soon as we left we both concluded that the unimaginable was most likely true.

Well they do say the apple does not fall far from the tree.

[JennyMac]

Well, does that mean since we are probably going to join the lifestyle but haven't yet, that we are a Vanilla Swirl?

With whip cream on top!

Jenn
____________________________________________
I like your pants around your feet..... and I like that dirt that's on your knees... and I like the way you still say please.... while you're looking up at me... You're like my favorite damn disease....

[kenora_guy]

I know this thread is aged but I found it so others likely will to..

To the general populace "Vanilla" in regards to sex means normal and boring sex (i.e. basic missionary position... Used by more sexually adventurous people kinked to describe the dull sex had by the unimaginative... This can be used to refer to both heterosexual sex and bi/homosexual... Generally swingers are NOT vanilla

[EvilMJ]

I found this at Wikipedia..thought it was interesting:

Vanilla sex is sometimes used as a derogative term that refers to what a society regards as standard or conventional sexual behavior. Different cultures, subcultures, and individuals have different ideas about what constitutes vanilla sex. Often it is interpreted as sex that does not involve such elements as BDSM, kink, or fetish activities.

Among homosexual men it sometimes implies that the activity is non-insertive (i.e. intercrural intercourse, manual sex, frottage etc.).

Among heterosexual couples in the Western world, vanilla sex often refers to the missionary position.

The term "vanilla" derives from the use of vanilla extract as the basic flavoring for ice cream, and by extension meaning "plain" or "conventional". Thus, the term "vanilla" is sometimes used as an insult to describe someone who is overly conventional or unwilling to take risks, in both sexual and non-sexual contexts.

“Vanilla sex” may also be intended by the user to indicate "Caucasian" in the stereotypical but unfounded belief that such cultures are less sexually adventurous and promiscuous than others. Generally speaking, there is a much broader variance of sexual behavior within individual cultures than between them, and no such stereotype holds up under scrutiny.

The term could also be used to refer to vaginal intercourse, which does have perhaps a backwards folk etymology. Vanilla in English comes from the dimunitive form of the Spanish word vaina, which means "scabbard" or "sheath" — the original meaning of the Latin word vagina.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by JennyMac

Okay, quick question and then I swear I'll leave you guys alone for alittle while... What in the HELL does "Vanilla" mean? I have seen that word a dozen times in the last five minutes just reading posts? Would someone please care to
explain?

Is a Vanilla friend different from a Cholcoate or strawberry friend?

Jenn

LOL, I had to have it interpreted to me too, so don't feel bad. I thought they were talking about ice cream or something.

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

“Vanilla sex” may also be intended by the user to indicate "Caucasian" in the stereotypical but unfounded belief that such cultures are less sexually adventurous and promiscuous than others. Generally speaking, there is a much broader variance of sexual behavior within individual cultures than between them, and no such stereotype holds up under scrutiny.

This reminds me of something that happened to us...we were on a "first date" with a black couple who had been swinging for several years. We made a reference to our vanilla friends... got a blank stare and then "What's vanilla?" That could have been awkward, but we quickly said it means our non-swinging friends, and that vanilla doesn't refer to them being white . Luckily they have a sense of humor. Two play dates later, we're still enjoying each other's company.

[marksgirl2]

wow! lots of variations in what it could mean situationally. Thanks for asking this - I had an idea but wanted to be sure (lest I make the wrong move with the wrong person).

[BBVixen23]

Originally Posted by adventureUS2

So if we were to convert our vanilla freinds to swingers would that be considered a vanilla extract

Love the sense of humor there.

[turnuptheheat]

Main Entry: 1va·nil·la
Pronunciation: v&-'ni-l&, -'ne-
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin, from Spanish vainilla vanilla (plant and fruit), diminutive of vaina sheath, from Latin vagina sheath, vagina facelick
1 a : VANILLA BEAN b : a commercially important extract of the vanilla bean that is used especially as a flavoring
2 : any of a genus (Vanilla) of tropical American climbing epiphytic orchids

[Swingercast]

Just remember...The best Vanillas have a cherry on top. (or is it bottom? I forget.)

John

[Tybee Swing]

In my experience, "vanilla" is anyone who isn't sexually into the degree or range of sex that you're into.

I used to hang out on other sexually-oriented boards, particularly on iVillage. Regular monogamous people, those we would call vanilla, classified others as vanilla but not themselves. If they sometimes used sex toys or watched porn with their spouse, had sex someplace outside of the bed from time to time, had at least tried anal sex (or wanted to), tried different positions...they considered themselves not vanilla (even those who would never consider swinging). In their world, vanilla people keep the lights off, don't talk much about sex, don't vary their positions, don't give or receive much oral, if any (just dull, routine, occasional sex).

We swingers, of course, use the term vanilla to describe people who don't swing.

BDSM people call swingers vanilla, and everybody else who isn't into BDSM.

I wonder who calls BDSM people vanilla?

[Chip_n_Muffy]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

In my experience, "vanilla" is anyone who isn't sexually into the degree or range of sex that you're into.


I wonder who calls BDSM people vanilla?

Jeffery Dahmer???

[sereneiders]

I believe the flavor analogy fits like a glove here: vanilla is that non-so-strong flavor able to fit evryone's taste. The mos conservative choice for icecream should you have guests at home. And as a guest, a flavor you'd be ok with, even if you have stronger preferences.

Now, this is a subjective measure, and when refering to a (sexual) lifestyle, it applies to everything conservative an "tasteless" for the lifestyle "standards". For swinges, a monogamous sexuality would be vanilla, for the BDSM community, a sexuality without a SM component would be vanilla, thus most swingers are vanilla for them... even if hey were monogamous, making them vanilla for us as well.