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kittycat43

Your experience your first time swinging?

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My husband and I are knew to the idea of swinging. We have had 2 FMF experiences with friends.

 

We don't know what to expect if we meet a couple for dinner/drinks or if we go to a club.

 

Can any of you describe your first dinner or your first time to a club? I am looking for the feelings each of you had, expectations that you had, any worries.

 

I'm not asking for sex details just what your experience was?

 

Thank you

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Feelings: excitement, nervousness, giddy

Expectations: only to have a good time with Mr. Sun, check out the atmosphere, and enjoy each others company

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From the very beginning, we have always made it clear that the first meeting (usually a dinner) was just for that and nothing more. We would meet a couple, have dinner, usually have some good, sexy conversation (sometimes however, the other couple seemed to avoid talking about sex at all...hummm) and then say goodnight. This way both couples got the chance to talk about the other after the meeting without any pressure. If things went well and both couples were interested, we would get together again. We always would discuss limits and expectations before hand and would never violate them. This takes most of the nervousness and pressure out of the equation and made everything more comfortable. There was always that sexy undertone, but without feeling pressured.

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Oh, and we started out as slow as possible...same room sex first (no inter-couple touching at all), then later to girl/girl, later on some limited guy/girl interaction, one slow step at a time as we didn't want to take any chance of damaging our relationship.

 

You set the rules, you set the boundaries and as long as they are communicated to everyone involved, I don't think you will have any problem. Almost everyone is very respectful of others.

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You've received some great advice above, but I'll share a little about my first club experience.

 

My then husband and I wanted to check out the local club and feel out if it was a place we were comfortable. We ran into a former booty call of mine and his wife and hung out with them for the evening - making out, swapping oral - then finally took it back to the hotel. In the morning, we parted ways and that was it pretty much. No real regret, just a lot of consensual fun!

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Our first dinner was with another couple who had offered to meet with us just to offer advice, no strings attached. We just talked about different things and they shared their perspective on getting started, what to do, what not to do, what to expect, and so on. It was very helpful, and especially so since we knew up front that is what it was to be, just a friendly mentoring session.

 

Our first club visit was actually at a Swingers Board meetup a few weeks later. We had been with everyone the night before at a vanilla club, so we were comfortable with our new friends and knew we were in good hands, so that helped a bunch on making the first club visit less stressful than it would have been had we just gone in solo and blind and not as part of an experienced group.

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The fear of the unknown is always greater than the actual event. Most of us don't bite (unless asked...lol).

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We are very new at this, only had one 'real' date with a couple yet. We first met for dinner at a hotel we already booked for ourselves, so when there wasn't a click, we could say goodbye to them and still have a wonderful time in the hotel, just the two of us. We did not have worries, but expectations were (too) high, but not on the emotional side of things, just 'technical'. All in all: the date itself was good, but a lot of emotions afterwards. But right from the start of the swinging, which of course started much earlier than that first date, we got much much closer, communication is better and our love is deeper than ever.

 

By the way, lots of experiences are written down in this board, e.g. here: First Swinging Experiences

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