Convincing my wife to dance and flirt with other guys. Perhaps more

[Buster333 15]

I have this fantasy of watching her be hit on in a bar. Maybe dancing and being felt up on the dance floor. Getting drunk and loose. Perhaps taken to a corner and being fondled or fingered. I think I could convince her to dance with others because she knows I don't dance. Does anyone have any ideas of how to make this happen. She is very hot an will have no problem getting the attention. Anyone got any experience of how to even bring this up with your partner? Going on a cruise soon that has many clubs and bars on ship. I think the whole cruise thing is perfect. We will never see the people again. I would like advice or thoughts from anyone.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

First of all, I would like to welcome you to The Swingersboard, as I see you are a new member.

 

I have always been in favor of the direct method: simply make the suggestion and if you receive an encouraging response, tell her you would be pleased. If you have never before made this suggestion to her, the time gap between now and the date you've booked a cruise seems pretty short so don't be too disappointed if it does not happen. Either your wife has a mind for doing such things or she hasn't. In either case, if she seems interested, let her do it for her own reasons, on her own terms and on her own time-line. You should not try to orchestrate the whole thing.

 

Anyway, you might be surprised. Men typically do not give women sufficient credit for what they think. There might be other naughty things stirring in her mind that she has not yet revealed to you. So be ready for that.

 

~Michael

[couplers 4,136]

Hi Buster333, this is Petra with a couple of thought from the woman's perspective:

 

Have you asked your wife what she would like? What are her fantasies?

Talk to her about what you've described above, but without trying to pressure her into it. Listen to what she says. Listen carefully.

Whatever you do, have you and her go into it sober. Getting your wife to do something that you want but she doesn't by impairing her judgment with alcohol is a recipe for disaster.

 

 

Let us know what she says, you may be pleasantly surprised.

[cplnuswing 4,711]

Welcome to the Swingers Board!

 

It's a difficult subject to bring up the first time, but the truth is, you won't know until you ask. When you bring it up, pose the question as "would you like to?" not "I would like you to." Do it in a way that 1) assures her this isn't some kind of "test" or loaded question, 2) determines if SHE has any interest independent of your interest, and 3) is an open-ended question that can lead to discussion of many different things, not just one specific scenario that you would like to see.

 

Assuming she is interested, the dancing and flirting with other guys isn't a bad way to dip your toe in. Keep in mind, involving a vanilla guy into a swinging situation isn't as easy as it sounds since most will tend to be very leery with the whole idea. I'm always a bit uncomfortable too with the whole you pretend like you don't know each other scenario where she picks up someone while he watches. I can live with it as being a mostly harmless deception if it's a short one and done sort of deal and all involved disappear into the night never to be seen again, but given the venue you are talking about, what happens when she does it and then you two keep running into him the rest of the cruise? I don't think it's fair to give some guy that "oh fuck, i didn't know! What if he finds out??" feeling just to have gotten your own jollies out of the something. Or, the flip side, "she obviously is ready to ditch him, so my turn to move in."

 

The alcohol is a bad idea. If you've got to be drunk to do it, then don't.

[Buster333 15]

Your advice is thoughtful and helpful. Thanks

[sunbuckus 3,565]

You've received some fantastic advice already so I will just welcome you to the forum. Welcome, Buster333!