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new&Playful

What is a horny bi-curious husband to do?

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What is a horny bi curious husband to do? In a perfect world my wife and I would befriend another bi curious couple to explore and play with. Reality is she is opposed to swinging, and I am raging hard dreaming of sharing a hard cock with her. In Iowa it is hard pressed to meet the right couple to initiate us. One turns to the infamous Craigslist, but with little success. There just has to be a better way. I know that out there is a bi couple waiting to discover us as well.

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Did she know you were bi-curious before you got married? If so did you talk about how you could address your bi-couriousness without bringing someone else into the picture?

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She new that I explored, but was not aware of my bi curiousity. To find another bi couple for us both to explore our bi sides would be a dream cum true.

Thank you Chris and Suzanne

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new&Playful, if you don't mind me asking a couple of questions...you said your wife is opposed to swinging yet you speak about finding a bi couple for both of you to enjoy--is she on board with you looking for another couple or not? Does she know that you are looking?

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She does not know that I am looking. The part about us finding a bi couple is my fantasy. I would love to entertain the thought that if we did meet another couple she would feel comfortable enough to let down her guard and explore with me. is it pure craziness that I'm thinking of seducing my wife into bisex. I do know if she opened her self up she would enjoy it and see how I enjoy it.

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[Well what can I really say, first off I've sure enjoyed the adult discussion here on the swingers board. all questions and comments are handled in an adult way by adults. I am a highly sexed married man that has swung before, but my wife never has. I would love for her to open herself up and try it but discussing it with her would be extremely difficult. so I made the decision to run an ad for us to find another couple to help us along the way. I know this is highly risky but it is all I can fantasize about lately. I would love any comments or feedback on my decision on this. thank you hardHubby

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LOL, that's like "I know you think you understand what I said, but what I said wasn't what you understood it to be". Listen, you didn't hear me.. no really, it'll be more fun than you think.. honest, really! LOL

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Tread carefully.... I've seen this blow up many times. This has to be something for you two as a couple to discuss, she may feel ambushed by having another couple approach her with this.. I would suggest while y'all are having sex, why not ask her about her fantasies. That will open up a lot of discussions. It did in our venture into the lifestyle, but in our favor, I was always attracted to both women and men..

Just my 2 cents.

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My honest opinion is you have likely ensured that swinging will never happen. Why would it? If she can't trust you to bring it to her first, then how will she ever feel the sense of trust that is necessary is swinging?

 

The better route would have been to use your prior experiences as a conversation starter to bring up the idea, and then to use your experience to answer any questions she had honestly and frankly, both the good and the bad. From there, it might have gone somewhere, or it might not, but at least you would have given it a chance of happening.

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Before you start with anything else, the FIRST place to start is by talking with her. This (the LS) is ALL about communication. If you can't talk about it beforehand, bad things are most likely on the horizon. You will be putting her in a position where she could be feeling betrayed and/or forced to do something she not only isn't interested in, but may (probably) go against everything she knows and believes about marriage. This is NOT a good plan. Talk first, then talk some more, and more, and more.

 

Ask yourself, is this fantasy more important than your wife?

 

:trainwreck:

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I have to agree with the others.

 

Unfortunately, I think you've shot down all your chances of swinging. You've bombarded her with something she isn't prepared for. It was more than highly risky, but probably more deadly. If my husband had done this to me, it would have guaranteed that nothing would have ever happen.

 

If you have time, I'd call it off and leave well enough alone.

 

I understand the talk here can be stimulating. It's great to be among like minded people. With that said, I'm going to be brutally honest with you -- I know you say you're highly sexed, but that's also what a teenaged boy, who can't control his libido, would say. If you can't discuss swinging with your wife, it's going to be hard to discuss anything with her. Why not just sit down and talk with her about your swinging experience; broaching the subject that way instead of bombarding her with a couple.

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Wow, thank you so much for your candid replies. I guess I really never give it that much thought and maybe I was thinking below the belt line again. I really did not want to face her and the rejection from her when I brought this conversation up, but perhaps I should proceed during sex as you have suggested. Thank you so much.

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new&Playful, it's always refreshing to hear from someone who is open to listening to the advice given to them...especially when it might not be something they want to hear. Kudos to you! :)

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Absolutely! Sometimes that honesty is hard to take. Thanks for not taking offense, because none was meant.

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New&playful why is there only one way? Find another way of opening up to her and having her open up to you and she might just well surprise you! Since opening up to Mr G i've surprised myself at some of the things i've been open about, things that I fantasize about that I had never acknowledged to myself let alone to somebody else...

 

Hoping that she'll jump on the bus with you is a recipe for disaster. We found ourselves in a situation once where 'she' was doing it for 'him'...the experience leaves you cold!

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this is quite refreshing to find so many adults that can talk candidly and openly about sexual play. I thank everyone of you especially the couple's because we'd love to meet you :) now if my wife and I could only find this many awesome couples in our slow paced state of Iowa.

Thanks again a playful husband

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Have you ever thought of bringing her here? Let her read some posts? See if she'd be interested?

 

This is where I started our swinging journey. Dave was the one that brought it up to me... I had to investigate swinging before I was going to give consent to move on. We've enjoyed swinging for over 8 years now and we love it. Just a thought... you don't have to though... but this is a great way to research what you're unsure about. :)

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Guest sandraandalex

Remember, a lie of omission is still a lie.

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If she enjoys fantasizing and talking about different sexual experiences, then engage in that with her, but no please don't try to cajole, guilt or in any way manipulate her into something she is not interested in or ready for. I would be so pissed and hurt if I told my husband I did not want to swing and then he went behind my back to try to create the situation anyway hoping he could then convince me.

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If you haven't already, I would definitely take down any ads you have up to meet other couples. Like everyone here has suggested, this is has all the makings of a train wreck. If you thought talking about swinging with you wife would be hard, imagine the conversation you'll have to endure when she finds out that 3 out of the 4 people at the table are all there to seduce (AKA coerce) her into dropping her panties...especially if she has made it clear that she is not interested.

 

Is there still a chance it could happen? Maybe. But you'll have to be prepared to be completely honest, vulnerable and open to getting shot down. You're going to want to explain why this is important to you, what you find so fascinating about it, and why she shouldn't feel threatened by it. Also be prepared to explain your priorities and stand behind them. If your wife is genuinely more important than swinging, as disappointing as it may be, you may need to abandon your fantasy. Some people simply are NOT wired for it. A good friend of mine is probably the most sexually open and adventurous person I know. However, when shee and her husband tried swinging, she discovered it wasn't for her. She said, if anything, she's more polyamorous. She needs the emotional connection. Everyone's different.

 

I think maybe you're right that you're thinking with the wrong head. :) I'd suggest taking a little "alone time", clean the pipes, and try revisiting the question at hand once you've got that batch of baby batter off the brain. Because if you go through with it, and let's say she agreed to participate in your fantasy (possibly under duress), that post-ejaculatory period, where you've gotten what you wanted and your fantasy is fulfilled and your wife has locked herself in the bathroom, crying uncontrollably, is where you need to focus. Ask yourself if it's really worth it.

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