Wanted to go further, husband intervened

My husband and I have always swung in the same room. However, recently I hooked up with Eric, our local stud at a party. This guy is to die for and all the ladies are nuts over him. The problem is his ego is almost as big as his huge dick. He knows how to work both. With his ego comes the knowledge that what one woman might hesistate to do another with gladly do.

Basically, after some great foreplay and teasing the two of us starting getting really naughty. My hubby was in the room watching us from a corner that I forgot he was there. Eric brought me to seventh heaven time and time ago while calling me all sorts of nasty things. He got a little rough too but I was really getting off on it. When he finally threw me on the bed, ripped off his rubber and said he was going to ass rape me, my hubby stepped in. Eric just laughed said screw this and walked out. I ran after him begging him back and my hubby ran after me. It's kind of funny now. The sad thing was that I told my hubby off and sucked Eric off after he had anal sex with one of my friends. My hubby was mortified that I would degrade myself so much but it kind of turned me on.

Should be both admit that we may want different things and start swinging separately at times? I really get off being with someone like Eric who's rough and tough and really nasty as opposed to my loving and caring husband. What should I do?

[teknurse]

I have to admit, I'm somewhat speechless after reading this one. I'm pretty sure that if something like this happened to me and my wife, it would be the end of our swinging. Bottom line, swinging for us is about making each other happy, and doing it together. If she were to act that way to me, the respect would be gone, as would the trust. Quite honestly, if someone were to treat my wife like that, I'm afraid I would have done more than 'step in'. I'll admit I'm a bit provincial in my attitude regarding my wife, but there is NO WAY I could have stood by and had someone treat her that way, not unless we had discussed it beforehand and it was all part of the 'experience'. I'm not sure why this post disturbs me so much, and I apologize for my vitriolic response if it offends anyone.

Allen&Tami

[OhioCouple]

I am going to have to agree with Teknurse here. I too am bothered by this. If that sort of activity were not a part of my husband's and my normal sexual activity, nor had we discussed the possibilty of it before hand, he would have been very upset to see someone treat me in that manner. Let's just say that the 'local stud' very well could have gone home with more than a bruised ego.

I don't feel swinging separately is the solution for you. You need to sit down with your husband and explain that you were turned on by this and explore that with your husband first, not with the local stud. There is a major difference between using some naughty words and essentially creating a demanding rape scene. How was your husband to know that you were enjoying this as opposed to just 'going with the flow' out of shock and fear. I'd be willing to wager that the vast majority of husbands would have been just as shocked and appalled. This man rips off his rubber and then says he is going to shove his endowment up your ass? It sounds as though you have a condom rule and right there...that one is getting ready to be broken. Then you tell your 'loving, caring' husband off for protecting you and proceed to have unprotected oral sex with a man that has just had anal sex with your friend?

In my opinion you totally disrespected your husband and that signals big problems in your marriage. Rather than toss around the idea of swinging separately, you need to STOP swinging entirely and get your own house in order.

Like Teknurse, I am not sure why this post bothers me so much either. The more I think about it, the more bothered I become.

Lori

[teknurse]

Teknurse wife here.
I know why it bothers you because her actions were completely wrong. Sorry, but you should be on your hands and knees begging for your husbands forgiveness not sucking on some one night stand. It is shocking that you can even be married to a man that you obviously have so little respect for, no one is that hot. If you want it rough then that is one thing but attacking the man who is protecting you out of love is just shameful. I would be embarrased to post that I was so self involved that I disregarded my partner because I thought this guy was so hot I couldnt pass it up. Its just my opinion but I believe my partner is the most important person in the world and if he isnt happy it isnt worth doing. I appoligize for being so long winded but reading your post offended me on so many levels I had to reply.
Good luck in the future, you may want to take OhioCouples advice and stop swinging until your house is in order.

[naughty A]

doesn't surprise me that this is source is unregistered I wouldn't want to admit to it either. You don't think it's a fake posting do you?

I can't even imagine this happening. We'd have left long before and I do indulge in the occassional bdsm scene-ing.

I can't imagine any ladies I know being too impressed with his actions either. I have to think if I even witnessed a scene like this ... I would shun this "stud's" company to the extent of not even attending a party/place I knew he might be.

whoa... what else can I say. Echo the get your house in order girl. time to rethink this.

Naughty A.

[DragonsLair]

I agree with everyone else here. Swinging in separate rooms is not the answer. Talking and more talking is the answer. And I agree with OhioCouple, stop swinging until you work this out.

At the very least you need a signal to let your husband know you're okay with what's going on and you like it. Otherwise I can see where he'd get concerned. If anything like that ever happened to me, I think the guy would be going to the hospital thanks to my husband.

You two have some serious conversations ahead. Please take the time to talk and to work this all out before your next swinging encounter.

Best of luck.

DragonsLair

He is T. I am A.

[BodyScape02]

Lori of OhioCouple summed it up very well and the rest of the responses are good too.

Personally, I find this appalling. I cannot imagine either of us behaving in such a manner of disrespect for the other.

I have to wonder if this post is real...

[danc694u]

Short and sweet.

Your ass woulda been walking home.

[OhioCouple]

Chances are that this post may not be real. But if it is, then she is getting some valuable feedback from a jury of her peers. Other married couples.

And I agree with whoever said "There isn't anyone that hot." I've never seen anyone so hot that I would disrespect my husband over. And I've seen some pretty hot men.

Lori

[oleretired1]

I totally agree with what all the others have said regarding this issue; there is no one so hot as to cause me to treat my husband that way......it's time to sit back and re-evaluate what you are looking for in this lifestyle

R of D&R

[Alura]

Originally posted by naughty A
You don't think it's a fake posting do you?

I can't even imagine this happening. We'd have left long before and I do indulge in the occassional bdsm scene-ing.

Naughty A.

I think it's a fake post, Naughty A. If it isn't, either swinging or the marriage is in severe trouble. I have to say that if this happened to Mrs. Alura she'd have beaten the shit out of "Eric" herself. I'd have been shouting, "Don't kill him, Sweetheart! Lawyers! Trials! Things like that!"

Mr. Alura

[Roxysbayou]

Originally posted by danc694u
Short and sweet.

Your ass woulda been walking home.

My sentiment exactly! There are plenty of women out there looking for a good man, such as this one telling by his actions, to waste him on a woman like this. She should have been on her knees begging his forgiveness.

But you are right it's probably fake. I can't believe any woman would actually sink that low.

i thought it was fake, and kind of interesting how this person percieves swingers as being totally selfish. People say on this board all the time that you have to be able to separate love from sex in order to swing. Whoever wrote this obviously could never imagine doing that...so he/she thinks that anyone who could have sex with someone other than their spouse must be completely self-absorbed and and uncaring...

well, maybe im reading too much into it...but i really think a lot of the general public see swingers as the type of people who would find this type of behavior to be totally reasonable...

[imsnowman]

Originally posted by Alura
I think it's a fake post, Naughty A. If it isn't, either swinging or the marriage is in severe trouble. I have to say that if this happened to Mrs. Alura she'd have beaten the shit out of "Eric" herself. I'd have been shouting, "Don't kill him, Sweetheart! Lawyers! Trials! Things like that!"

Mr. Alura

In my opinion its a troll post.

[OhioCouple]

Consider this for a moment.

Years ago I worked with a woman in which her and her husband were into some pretty heavy BDSM. Also the second swing experience we had had all the makings of seeing how far we would be willing to go and we met them at a swingers club.

Before we ever started swinging, one of the reasons that I investigated it so throughly is that I thought perhaps that may be part of what swinging was about. I then learned there are many different types of swingers. Role playing and bondage is just one area that is involved in swinging for some.

Perhaps this gal was awakened to something she really enjoyed. There is nothing wrong with that. Just not my cup of tea, but to each his own. The simple fact of the matter is that she totally disrespected her husband. That is where the problem lies for me. People can do what ever they want when they turn down the lights and I don't frown upon that as long as all are consentual. In this case, the husband was far from it. That should have been enough to call it a night, right then and there, go home and discuss the situation. Not go ahead and do what you wanted, because you wanted to.

Also, I would like to point out that it is not unusual to get a first time poster that posts as "Unregistered". It happens quite often when people are using the board for the first time and has even happened where it will show a screen name of a regular member, but show their status as unregistered if they forget to log in. I have seen many times where an unregistered poster will come back in and answer their own thread with a screen name. (If I am not mistaken, you cannot respond to your thread if you don't register and create a screen name, but you can start a new one.)

There is no telling if the original poster was sincere, but the fact lies that she may have been and really wanted advice. I think the post should be treated with the favortism in the respect that it was sincere (innocent, until proven guilty). If it is indeed a troll, then they'll be back to stir up trouble, right in this very thread and you'll recognize it right away. They won't be able to refrain from doing so.

Lori