Limits were established then changed

[Drkknight]

Had a situation occur that has me a little perplexed. I met this couple, we chatted a few times, set up a meeting and got together and they let me know that they were into "rough trade". Now I made it clear from the beginning that I was pretty vanilla and that I wasn't into rough stuff. The wife said cool but the husband had something else on his mind. We get started and he breaks out a barber strap. That was a deal breaker for me. I dressed and left. Got a call a couple of days later with "i didn't understand what you were looking for". Am I crazy? Has anybody had a similar experience where limits were established then changed?

[Pepper & Drew]

Wha? I had to Wikipedia that one....boy, you learn something new every day!

Sure, we've had people agree to condoms and then try to go without. We've had people ask to play separately even though they know good and well you said you don't play alone.

I love that people think that they can convert you or persuade you into things you're not interested in.

You were right to just walk away.

Pepper

[sweet_tna]

Yowzers! Yeah, I'd be walking away from that one, too. To each their own, but if it ain't my thing, I ain't gonna' swing . . .

Luckily, I haven't had any date/play time go that far awry.

=)

[3sumff]

Drkknight, don't worry! You absolutely did the right thing! However, for them, have them reread the corresponding emails between you to. Cheez! lol

[realcplub2]

Regardless of WHO he broke out the barberstrap for, you did the right thing..

Joke em if they can't take a fuck..

But seriously, dont sweat it.. Not every scene is gonna be for everyone, and as far as the ROUGH TRADE.. I am as preplexed as everyone else here, generally, thats referred to as BD/SM ... And lets face it just like everywhere, there is a site for everyone, there is one for that.. and plenty out there into that particular KINK.. send them a link to ALT.COM

So again, don't sweat it..

[Additude]

Your lucky you got out of there with your pants on dude.....

But I still don't understand what you felt the meaning of the use of the barber strap was for.

Did you feel it was meant to be used as a spanking device personally for you?

I guess you were not looking for what they were looking for. They probably just wanted to test the water with you.

I'm interested in what happened when you decided to leave and what their reaction and comments were at the time of your decision to depart their company.

[Drkknight]

He wanted me to use the strap on her. He was smaking her butt and telling me how she liked it. I didn't get the impression she did after he stroked her a couple of times. When I got up he asked where I was going and I told him I wasn't comfortable with the scene. He didn't try to stop me and she didn't say anything at all.

[fun4Ds]

Well that was cool of them

I supose its different, everyone has their thing.

I might have stayed a little longer

[Additude]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

Well that was cool of them

I supose its different, everyone has their thing.

I might have stayed a little longer

I would have stayed.

It didn't seem to me they pushed the boundries as it was between them, which makes you the odd man out....

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by Drkknight

He wanted me to use the strap on her. He was smaking her butt and telling me how she liked it. I didn't get the impression she did after he stroked her a couple of times. When I got up he asked where I was going and I told him I wasn't comfortable with the scene. He didn't try to stop me and she didn't say anything at all.

Um, what you describe is BDSM, not rough trade. Just so you don't use it with the wrong crowd and end up in totally the wrong situation , here's the slang definition: Trade (gay slang) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Kinda a whole different animal....

They still were wrong to spring that on you and you were still right to get the hell outta dodge.

Pepper

[JustMrJ]

Yep, either way it was not what YOU were into and you were well within your rights to get dressed and leave.

All parties MUST respect boundaries or it's just not fun anymore...

Last I checked, I'm in this for fun...

[two42lovers]

Yep - if you are uncomfortable, absolutely you should say goodbye. No doubt they will have no trouble finding sexy guys who will want to join in their turn ons. (All they need to do is ask "Does anybody want to spank my wife, fuck her in the ass and pull her hair, then cum all over her tits? She really gets off on it..." -lol! They won't have any troube finding willing partners.) Wonder if down the road you end up kicking yourself for bowing out?

[DesireCancunCpl]

yup we met a couple at a restaurant once for cocktails. we agreed to go easy & get to know each other first..............nothing on the first date. we get there..........he is drunk (shes a living doll and a sweetheart). her and my wife hit if off immediately. he proceeds to ruin the evening with all kindsa pointed personal (DETAILED sexual preference) questions. we exited early and never heard from them again. come to find out, other couples (aquaintences of ours) that agreeded to meet them at a hotel, received a lot of pressure and had to leave, too.

[pervgeeks]

Yep, we had a bad experience that put us off for a few months. We since learned to make it a rule "no BDSM with play partners". My husband and I dabble with each other, but there's a huge trust element to this stuff and the trust involved with that takes years to earn, not conducive to swinging for us.