Feeling up without asking: is this normal?

[ShellyM]

You know, I think you can have a look that tells men "touch and you'll get a nub back"...be careful with that one though, because you may repel even those that you DO want to touch something lol.

[Tybee Swing]

Hey everybody, thanks for all the support tonight! I just came back online and saw all these kind posts.

Originally Posted by Menage_a_Trois

You need to ask whoever is in charge of the parties you go to if this is considered appropriate behavior at their parties.

This is just a house party hosted by one couple, and they don't post any rules. All that's sent out to newcomers is directions to the house. That's fine for them, but from now on we'll stick with the organized clubs that have rules, orientations for all newcomers, etc. We have to travel, but better that than getting offended every time we go out.

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

A light went on when you said this!

We have only been to one party and the couple that threw it is really awesome and a fun couple to play with at the club... We were nervous about a house party and they told us it would be no big deal - so we went thinking it was something we really needed to try out...

We weren't in the house for fifteen minutes when I walked into the kitchen and some jackass made a bee-line over to Mrs Spoo and planted a huge kiss on her. He had a boa that was being passed around the party and he came over to put it around her neck...

But then he quickly pulled her close and stuck his tongue in her mouth...

I saw the kiss - but not the approach - and it wasn't until later that she told me it was unwelcome and unasked for. But when she told me, she said I couldn't say anything to him about it. Needless to say, I was pissed - as was Mrs Spoo. But this had never happened, so she was unsure what to do.

We left early and apparently this guy became more pushy and more asinine as the night went on, insisting that the games that were being played included nudity and sexual rewards...

He ruined the party and was not invited back...

It is our impression that house parties tend to have an atmosphere where there is a lot more expectation that anyone can touch, kiss, fondle anyone else. This has always been our hesitency for going to house parties - and having our impression proved true at our very first one probably guarantees that we won't try another.

This was not a couple we'd have played with based first on their appearance - second on his attitude. And we are a fairly picky couple - which we feel we have the right to be - and we cringe at any situation that means people we aren't into can have their way with us (one reason we tend to hate party games).

Mentioning house parties reminded me of that memory - which still really pisses me off...

Spoomonkey

Thanks Spoo, this sounds soooo similiar! It's much like how I feel at these house parties when this stuff happens out of the blue, like Mrs. Spoo felt. Like you said, we'd never have played with this couple with the offensive guy, either. He was repulsive to me, very unattractive, and even had a stereotypical comb-over! UM, pass! LOL But worst of all was his attitude - he was just a total jerk. The host won't be inviting him back because apparently he caused trouble at a prior party a few weeks earlier and upset somebody - 2 strikes and he's out. However, there are new ones like him that will probably be at the next party.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by nice_cpl_n_bama

I've seen that too. Laurie very nearly broke a mans thumb at a Halloween party over this very issue. She told him once clearly and politely that she was not interested and he persisted. Laurie used to be an auxiliary officer for our local police dept and has had the self defence training. she grabbed his thumb and twisted till he whimpered.

Wow, I'm in awe! I wish I had Laurie's balls. Maybe Laurie and Prettylady could give us gals some lessons!

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Mrs.PaganLovers

Having said all that, I realized that my reaction in the vanilla club was much different than in the swingers club and it shouldn't have been. No one has the right to put their hands on me unless it is invited! I guess it was because of the different atmosphere, it will never happen again. I don't care where I am or the expectations, there are jerks everywhere, and they will be promptly put in their place by this little lady, and they will be reminded that I am a LADY. Ladies stand up for yourselves and speak when someone is out of line!
Ok, jumping off my soap box now.

Blessings
Mrs. PL

I'm sorry you got mauled like that! You are right, regardless of what kind of club we're in or what we're there for, respect should be at the forefront, and no matter what, a woman's permission should be clear to a guy before any groping commences. Hugs!

[MoonLightKiss]

Tybee, you will never be in the wrong for feeling that way. No man or woman EVER has the right to start copping a feel without permission. Next time a guy does it you could always look at him and say "and you are?" When he says "Insert name here" You could always put on your best and most flirtatious smile and say "Well my name is Tybee, now that we have been properly introduced, you may now proceed to kiss my ass." and walk away. But then again...

May not be the most ladylike approach. Probably not advisable, either, so chalk it up to my jack and coke talking lol...

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by BradAndJanet

Well...I can see from your avatar that you do have one of those hard-to-resist perfect asses.

*blush* Thanks, Brad and Spoo. We need a blushing icon on here. LOL

Originally Posted by BradAndJanet

Still, a man's got to contain himself and not get carried away. He was wrong to assume anything. He was a jerk and I'll bet it's not the first time.

You're right! We learned after the party that he offended somebody and started a ruckus at another place a few weeks earlier. In fact he was told "no" in a sexual situation, where he was trying to join in, and seemed to be not be taking no for an answer. Someone had to step in and handle him.

You know what's sad, his wife seemed like a very nice lady. I actually felt sorry for her.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by MoonLightKiss

Tybee, you will never be in the wrong for feeling that way. No man or woman EVER has the right to start copping a feel without permission. Next time a guy does it you could always look at him and say "and you are?" When he says "Insert name here" You could always put on your best and most flirtatious smile and say "Well my name is Tybee, now that we have been properly introduced, you may now proceed to kiss my ass." and walk away. But then again...

May not be the most ladylike approach. Probably not advisable, either, so chalk it up to my jack and coke talking lol...

LOL! I'm kind of leaning right now toward the thumb-twisting maneuver. And Intuition's idea about panties with a warning printed across the ass....how about, "touch this and DIE"? Now that will make me real popular, huh?

[Darkblue]

Originally Posted by BradAndJanet

Well...I can see from your avatar that you do have one of those hard-to-resist perfect asses.

Still, a man's got to contain himself and not get carried away. He was wrong to assume anything. He was a jerk and I'll bet it's not the first time.

-B

I would agree with that statement as well!! it must be hard to resist but hey if you cant control yourself then you shouldnt be at the Party in the first place....

I am glad to say we have never had that problem just due to the fact that Germans are very reserved and wouldnt touch unless they were invited to do so!! so i can leave the Mrs alone for hours (not that i want to) i would know that she is safe and no one will bother her unless she wants them too.. and i agree no one has the right to touch anyone else wether it be a female or a male without being asked or asking!!..
I do put my arm around a women but thats all if she wants me to go further then she will let me know in one way or another!!

I feel sorry for those who have to put with these jerks.
Personly i would of grabbed them by the balls and twisted them slightly then tell you like to inflict pain and lots of it and would they like to play a bit more!!


Steve

[Mr. Truelove]

I think this thread is just Tybee bragging that "she is so hot, the men can't keep their hands off her."

And from the picture I was looking at, I have to agree.

In seriousness though, I know I wouldn't think about any sort of groping without some sort of indication it was welcomed. I think it's totally inappropriate.

Mr. Truelove

[Darkblue]

Mrs Tybee doent have to brag, we can all see she is hotter than hot!!


Steve

I wanna move to the states!!!!

[MrsVan]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

I would like to say, though, that if you ever grabbed my crotch uninvited, I doubt I'd be the least bit bothered by it, VolSpoomonkey

I can say that Spoo is the least bothered by someone grabbing his crotch uninvited. facelick As I seem to recall some of that going on at the Meetup.

MrsVan

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by MrsVan

I can say that Spoo is the least bothered by someone grabbing his crotch uninvited. facelick As I seem to recall some of that going on at the Meetup.

I was just trying to be a good host - and what kind of host doesn't share his goodies???



Spoomonkey

[MrsVan]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

I was just trying to be a good host - and what kind of host doesn't share his goodies???



Spoomonkey

Oh, you were a good host I am not complaining at all...

MrsVan

[Tybee Swing]

It seems like all the fun is happening in Ohio. If it weren't so far from the beach, I'd be tempted to move up there.

[getnit2gethr]

Yea. I've noticed that sort of behavior going on at clubs and was recently wondering about that too. To me it's wrong and I can't bring myself to do it. They have to literally ask me to. Sometimes even give me a good smack to get my attention, lol.

It is a little confusing to me. It appears that some women welcome it. Others might go along with it cause they think it's normal. Surprisingly, I have yet to notice anyone complain about it. You are the first. I'm not even sure how my own wife feels about it. I'm gonna ask.