Let Wife's boss touch her while she was passed out

[jr555666]

My wife, Wendy and I have experimented in swinging in the past by inviting a friend to join us in bed on several occassions. This saturay Wendy and I were at a pool opening party and she had a bit too much to drink and too much sun. We were at her boss' house and he directed us to a room where I could lay Wendy down for a bit. He had hit on Wendy in the past but wasn't a total jerk or anything, he was nice enough to help me get her in bed, but I noticed he was also taking this chance to feel her. Wendy was nearly asleep/out and I should have just said Ok I can take it from here. I don't know what came over me but when he put his fingers at at the hook/clasp of her bikini top between her breasts and looked at me, I just nodded and he looked back to her for a sign of her noticing. Her eyes were closed and I just kind of stood there as he slowly undid it and very gently pulled her top apart and to the side so she was topless. He felt each breast gently and then softly kissed each nipple. Then he stopped and said thanks, you have no idea how long I've wanted to see and touch your wife's breasts. Then he left. I'm not sure what to tell Wendy or what I should do. I feel I let her down, which I know I did, but I'm not sure what step to take now?

[SC_GAcouple]

What a weird situation. Whether you tell your wife what happened or not is up to you and your guilt. If she was not responding, like she was passed out, i feel you letting him do that was very wrong. I know I would be pissed at my husband if I found out something like this. If you do bring it up, maybe casually mention something about it to see if she realizes what happened, or if she was out cold. Good luck to you, and be more cautious and thoughtful in the future!

Mrs. SC

[jr555666]

Yes it was a very weird situation and I realize I handled it horribly. But thanks for your wishes of good luck and for your two cents on the issue. I'm pretty sure she doesn't have any idea it happened.

[LikeMinds321]

From what you've described your wife obviously had too much to drink. She's going to have to take responsibilty for that. Still, you were there caring for her when she was barely conscious.

I think it is your responsiblity to tell your wife what you allowed to happen to her. What you allowed her boss to do to her.

She has to face her boss every day. He knows what happened. Your wife should know too, so that she can be prepared for whatever her boss says or does to her at work or anywhere you all see each other again.

This is no time to keep quiet and hope the problem will go away. That approach won't help your bad situation. And indeed, this is a bad situation. Face it head on and start talking to your wife so you can both decide how you're going to deal with this together.

LM

[EvilMJ]

you did let her down...terribly. As a husband you are supposed to protect and care for your wife. Yes you have to face the music and talk to her....


All I can say is if I were in her position I would not be very forgiving for what happened. Be prepared to take the heat and own up to it...by not saying anythign you are going to make a bad situation horribly worse

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

She has to face her boss every day. He knows what happened. Your wife should know too, so that she can be prepared for whatever her boss says or does to her at work or anywhere you all see each other again.


LM

Exactly what I was thinking...

Do you want her to find out from him or you?

There is a chance he won't say anything but there is also a chance he will.

I think having her find out from him instead of you has the possibilty of making whatever the outcome may be, the worse possible one.

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

you did let her down...terribly. As a husband you are supposed to protect and care for your wife. Yes you have to face the music and talk to her....

All I can say is if I were in her position I would not be very forgiving for what happened. Be prepared to take the heat and own up to it...by not saying anythign you are going to make a bad situation horribly worse

Yes, you let her down very badly. Marriage and the lifestlye are about trust. I trust Mr Spoo more than anyone else and he looks out for me all the time, especially in the lifestyle.

You need to tell her because if she finds out any other way she'll trust you even less, and be prepared because if it was me I would be pissed and it would take a long time for me to feel safe and trust again.

I agree that she needs to know, you and her boss do and since she has to see him every day how long will it be before the cat's out of the bag and then how will she feel.

You need to rethink your motives in this situation as well, of all the people you could have let do that to her, her boss was the worst. What a horrible feeling to go to work everyday and know what her boss did to her.

Tell her and tell her now and ask for her forgiveness. Good luck

Mrs Spoomonkey

[Spoomonkey]

I was going to say, "don't say a word, dude..."

The way the wives have responded here (and these are some open minded women) should give you a good idea of just how ugly it could get if you come clean. If I were in your shoes, I would immediately think about how short my couch is - how I know I'd sleep poorly on it - and how odd it would look on the lawn...

Then I thought - he's told somebody... Maybe somebody at work... And chances are the boss, and whoever he has told, aren't as open-minded and understanding - and may think conisderably less of her...

Not a good thing...

One of the things that I have learned about women who swing is that they are often deserving of more respect than the average woman.

She gives you a lot of trust - and counts on you to be there for her when she can't be there for herself... Bottom line is - you failed her... I wish I could think of a more delicate way to put it, but I have to be real here. You need to start rebuilding that trust before it gets totally blown away when/if she finds out what you did...

Cowboy up...

Spoomonkey

[intuition897]

Oh man. I am going to try and be gentle here, but there is no getting around that this is a MAJOR transgression. At least it would be in my and Mr. intuition's marriage. Your wife is going to be hurt and ashamed, and you get to live with knowing you weren't there to protect her when she was vulnerable. This doesn't let her boss off at all; what an ass! Waiting until the woman was unconscious to take advantage of her... This is just one of the reasons that swinging and drinking don't mix. I agree with Mr. Spoomonkey; you're definitely going to feel the heat from this one. The worst part will be when/if she forgives you for it. That's when you'll realize that just because she forgives you, it doesn't make it go away, and you're still left feeling like s**t.

I don't have much advice to offer except to be truthful and just brace yourself to accept whatever punishment she deems suiting. Throw yourself on the mercy of the court. Perhaps I'm making a bigger deal of this than it actually is, but as I said, it would be a huge breach of trust in our own relationship. Sorry I didn't have better or kinder advice.

[LikeMinds321]

Something just occured to me.

The boss made this move in front of her husband. I'd say he must have been pretty sure he could get by with it. He must have felt jr555666 was unlikely to object.

Maybe the boss is a swinger. Maybe he was picking up vibes that Mr & Mrs jr555 are swingers. To the boss, maybe swinging is okay with an employee.

I think this is something to think about. I'm not tryint to make what happened sound okay, because I don't think it was.

All three of them were probably influenced by alcohol. But I do find odd - or different - that the boss went about getting closer to her through her husband. I think most "vanilla" bosses who wanted to hit on a married employee would do it far away from her husband.

What do you all think?

LM

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

The boss made this move in front of her husband. I'd say he must have been pretty sure he could get by with it.

There may have been a vibe - a flirt - a wink... Maybe even from the wife...

...before she passed out...

Waiting for his "chance" and taking it only after she was under was not "swinger-like" at all to me.

Like you said - nothing makes this "right" - because the whole "consent" thing was removed from the wife. She didn't have a choice. But - I would like to think that the boss was more of leech than a possible swinger... I would hope that most swinging males would have more respect (even self-respect) than that.

You do bring up a good point - and if he is a swinger, then he needs to learn the common sense ettiquette (sp?).

Spoomonkey

[jr555666]

You are right i failed her. I don't think he is a swinger and as far as i know he has no idea we have. he's just a horny selfish guy who saw an opening and went for it. he had hit on her several times before and she wanted no part. Wendy is a very attractive, fit gal who is more than young enough to be his daughter, not that age really matters. but he did look to me for an ok and i gave it to him. i'm trying to figure out why i did. i know it was wrong on every level. and i regret it. but in that moment i got lost in, i was almost glad this fat old guy got to see her chest. i know, that is awful! what is scary is thinking about if i would have let it go farther ... but yes, i need to tell her and before tomorrow when she goes to work.

Okay, that's what I was waiting to hear!

What I told Mr. Naughty was that it would depend on how I felt about my boss, & by your last post.....well, what they say down this way is

"Well, that there just ain't ra'ght!"

[jr555666]

Again I want to thank everyone for their opinions.

[mfmyeahbaby]

What ever happened to trust in the lifestyle. You violated your wife and should let her know that when her back is turned her boss is thinking about sucking her tits. Shame... I certainly hope that she doesn't give you uncontrolled total swinger pleasure because you don't deserve it.