Let Wife's boss touch her while she was passed out

[jennandjamesinm]

Originally Posted by WoodyInSoCal

Look everyone, this is pretty simple.

She was incapacitated. She was in the care of her husband who contributed to her molestation.

He betrayed her trust.

If she were concious and agreed, that would have been a totally different thing.

Boss or no boss all the husband had to do was say "no" and that would have been the end of it.

Exactly what I was thinking - you just put it better!!!

Jenn

[curiousagain]

OK, we probably aren't going to hear back from the OP, I like to play devils advocate, I like to philosiphize sometimes, I'm bored. Bear with me.

We aren't cutting the Husband any slack because he was alcohol impaired, but evidently everybody was, including the wife who was incapicitated by alcohol voluntarily. Now obviously, since the boss had hit on her dispite her being married beforehand, he deserves the castration/crucifixion at dawn we all wish on him whether sober or inebriated. But, if the husband had been incapacitated and the wife impaired and she had allowed this as her husband was unable to protest, would we be ripping her a new one?? Would we say, "she was drunk"? We have all done or allowed to be done things, while drunk we would not while sober. Admit it, think back, you know you have. I will be the first to raise my hand. I'm not looking to start a flamethrow I am just wondering.

Thoughts anyone?

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by curiousagain

I like to philosiphize sometimes, I'm bored. Bear with me. . .

. . . if the husband had been incapacitated and the wife impaired and she had allowed this as her husband was unable to protest, would we be ripping her a new one??

I most certainly would!

It would not change my view one bit, nor what I have already said in my other posts.

LM

[jennandjamesinm]

Originally Posted by curiousagain

But, if the husband had been incapacitated and the wife impaired and she had allowed this as her husband was unable to protest, would we be ripping her a new one?? Would we say, "she was drunk"? Thoughts anyone?

I think it goes either way - her boss getting a feel off of her or his female boss getting a feel off of him, it is totally wrong to allow this to happen. If he was sober enough to give his consent, then he should have protected her, and she was in his place, the same applies. Alcohol isn't an excuse. In this lifestyle, its about trust, whether you are male or female.

Jenn

[biblonde]

I would feel the same way no matter who was doing what....rape/molesting happens both ways and isnt exceptable!! If my hubby was passed out drunk there is no way boss or not that I would let another woman feel him up. HE is the one that needs to give the okay with it and be awake enough to make that decition. It is HIS choice who touches him..with my permission of course!! lol

[EvilMJ]

I dunno Curious. I still have a hard time cutting a guy slack when he allowed a man, who his wife made it clear previosly that she was not interested in, molest her.

Your husband is a man you are supposed to be able to trust, especially when you are not able to take care of yourself. No means No...I think both the husband and the boss need to remember that. If the wife had done the same thing I would have said the same thing to her....you don't do crap like that to the people you love.

I know I have done stupid crap when I was younger and had too much to drink, but never once can I say anything I did harmed someone.

There is no excuse for that kind of action, no matter if it was the husband or the wife.

( Disclaimer: Of course this is not a flame....I like you too much for that, this is just an open debate )

[tribbles]

mmmm...I read this thread last nite and then got to thinking... (dangerous for me..LOL)

If the hubby was upset with his wife for getting so wasted, but not in touch with his feelings, might this be an unconscious move to get even? I know years ago D and I had issues like that and if he had gotten wasted, after we agreed not to...I might have allowed something like this in my anger...

Or maybe the hubby who was also under the influence, had lowered control and the boss asking was such a turn on for him that he didn't control his behavior as well as we would have liked him too? As well as even he would have wanted to, especially with hindsight? And if hubby had not been drinking too then this wouldn't have happened. Maybe the hubby needs to explore if the helpless damsel image was a turn on.

In the long run, this episode can be something that helps everyone grow. I don't see how anyone was hurt in an irreparable way. (This from someone who was felt up at age 5 by some dude in a white coat while waiting for my tonsils to be removed. I was 5-didn't tell anyone since it just didn't seem important at the time. It didn't physically hurt, I just wrote the guy off as an idiot examing the wrong kid. I never did find irreparable harm in that experience for me-there doesn't need to be any here either. Just grow from it).

[biblonde]

WTF..TIBBLES..no harm????are you kidding! Just because you let it go doesnt make it right...That is called child molesting! AND that my dear does leave damage!!!!!!! And with this situation it was her boss! That could cause all sorts of problems at work. LET IT GO ...please! IT is called molestation whether the hubby said okay or not SHE didnt which mind you is against the law!!! and for a reason! What the hubby did is soooooo wrong. He allowed his wife to be violated by her Boss knowing good and well that she didnt like him....You need to get out of your little happy box and get into the real world!

[BiDrywallChick]

Originally Posted by curiousagain

OK, we probably aren't going to hear back from the OP, I like to play devils advocate, I like to philosiphize sometimes, I'm bored. Bear with me.

We aren't cutting the Husband any slack because he was alcohol impaired, but evidently everybody was, including the wife who was incapicitated by alcohol voluntarily. Now obviously, since the boss had hit on her dispite her being married beforehand, he deserves the castration/crucifixion at dawn we all wish on him whether sober or inebriated. But, if the husband had been incapacitated and the wife impaired and she had allowed this as her husband was unable to protest, would we be ripping her a new one?? Would we say, "she was drunk"? We have all done or allowed to be done things, while drunk we would not while sober. Admit it, think back, you know you have. I will be the first to raise my hand. I'm not looking to start a flamethrow I am just wondering.

Thoughts anyone?

I can't rembeber if I said in my reply about this before, so i'll clarify:

I am not excusing the wife for getting so wasted she wasnt in control of her own decisions. She is going to have to accept responsibility for her own actions, in this case the lack there of. However, I do hold the husband 9 and definately the pig boss) more responcible for not putting a stop to this in the beginning. My husband would most definately kick arse if someone tried this while I was incapasitated in any form. As I would for him. Its a basic respect for another person. Even if it was him trying to subcounsiously get even for her getting into that position, it wasnt right. If the shoe was on the other foot, I bet he would have been at least a little pissed.

As far as being alcohol impaired.. I never cut anyone slack for that. thats just me though. I am a firm believer in whatever you do, do it in moderation. I have had my fair share of drunken or stoned stupidity. I still had to accept my responsibility for what I did. Let me tell you, some of it was super stupid. Either be able to control yourself and be able to make sound judgement calls or dont do it. I think there are zero innocents in this case. Just some are more guilty than others.

[VeryChaotic]

Well I definately don't think we'll be hearing back from mr jr555... whether or not he told his wife, whether or not she forgave him, I think he MOST CERTAINLY got more "advice" than he bargained for when he decided to post his problem!
I agree with everyone whole heartedly that he was DEAD WRONG.. and as to the whole "what if she did it to him?" well, I think the ONLY difference is he may not have been AS pissed off when he found out.
Just MHO...

VC

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by curiousagain

OK, we probably aren't going to hear back from the OP, I like to play devils advocate, I like to philosiphize sometimes, I'm bored. Bear with me.

We aren't cutting the Husband any slack because he was alcohol impaired, but evidently everybody was, including the wife who was incapicitated by alcohol voluntarily. Now obviously, since the boss had hit on her dispite her being married beforehand, he deserves the castration/crucifixion at dawn we all wish on him whether sober or inebriated. But, if the husband had been incapacitated and the wife impaired and she had allowed this as her husband was unable to protest, would we be ripping her a new one?? Would we say, "she was drunk"? We have all done or allowed to be done things, while drunk we would not while sober. Admit it, think back, you know you have. I will be the first to raise my hand. I'm not looking to start a flamethrow I am just wondering.

Thoughts anyone?

I haven't reached any conclusions about the drunkenness factor, but the thing that really pisses me off is that the guy isn't sorry he did it... just sorry that he's going to have to pay the piper. And pay he will. Oh yes.

[Vespertine]

Not only would I kill my husband, but I'd also kick my boss' ass.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

Not only would I kill my husband, but I'd also kick my boss' ass.

Oddly - that sounds pretty erotic...



Spoomonkey

[WildMiCouple]

Originally Posted by biblonde

WTF..TIBBLES..no harm????are you kidding! Just because you let it go doesnt make it right...That is called child molesting! AND that my dear does leave damage!!!!!!! And with this situation it was her boss! That could cause all sorts of problems at work. LET IT GO ...please! .................................................. .........

....You need to get out of your little happy box and get into the real world!

Boy......a little rough here don't ya think? All I hear Tribbles is saying is that she could get over it and move on and others might be able to also. No need to get your panties in a twist with her :rollseyes

Brett (and Tammy)

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by intuition897

...the thing that really pisses me off is that the guy isn't sorry he did it... just sorry that he's going to have to pay the piper.

I didn't get this feeling from his posts. I felt that he is sorry about what he did and understands he was wrong. When I went back and read his posts, I think he was trying to understand why he did something so wrong and how he could best handle his situation.

I've said already, I think this was a terrible thing he did. But I believe he knows it.

LM