Advice & Info

My wife and I are familiar with swinging and are active to the extent of considering it to be a lifestyle. Having read other books on this subject, some good, others not so good, we were wondering if there was really much more to be learned or anything that could actually surprise us. Well, there is and we were. Both of us regret that we did not have access to a book like this when we first discussed the possibilities of jumping in. We might have avoided some early mistakes and have been a little less puzzled by some of the situations we encountered.
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I found this on Netflix last night, so I decided to watch it. The documentary is the story of the rise and fall of Platos Retreat and Larry Levine. While it's interesting, it's not really that informative. I felt like they could have given a lot more info with a good narrator rather than just using interviews (both current with those still alive and older interviews and recordings of Larry Levine himself).
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Overall, I liked it a lot.

The introduction is a little boring. It describes how the authors gathered information for the book and their theories about why swinging is popular today. It gives good information about the types of clubs operating in different areas of the US and Canada. I felt like there was a bit of a judgmental attitude toward play with single men in the beginning. They say something like if you go to a club on a singles night you should prepare yourself for raunchy scenes. I'm not really sure why multiple men with one woman is raunchy and multiple couples or fmf is cool. Honestly I'm not even sure what raunchy means! But to me it has a negative connotation. Otherwise the authors were pretty balanced and open.
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The Book of Vice by Peter Sagal

Whether this is a book about swingers or not a book about swingers might be up for debate. But the first chapter of this book was written about the writer's and his wife's visit, with permission and knowledge of the owners, to a well-known swingers' club. They came away with the notion that it is definitely not for them but the people they found at the club are as normal and normal could be. An interesting observation from a writer and his wife who knew nearly nothing about the lifestyle before they started their research. I read this chapter out-loud to my wife and we came to several points in the narrative where were where both paralyzed with laughter.
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This book is NOT a swinger book, but you may find more info in this book to help you improve your swinging than you will in most any swinger book. It is a must read and a life-saver for anyone who admits to even the slightest bit of shyness, trepidation or fear of entering rooms full of strangers ... even moreso if you have any hopes of actually talking to said strangers.

93% of people admit to some level of shyness - from the introduction.

The first chapters go into the 5 Roadblocks to socializing in a room full of strangers and then how to overcome said roadblocks. Who would think that the good advice of our mother "don't talk to strangers" would still be ringing around in the back of our subconscious, but it is!
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The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities
Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt
ISBN 1-890159-01-8

This book is an easy-to-read treatment of alternative sexual relationships and would highly recommend it to someone questioning traditional relationships or seeking guidance as to the care and feeding of such relationships or who just wants a good basic book on polyamory and open relationships. Much of the advice, especially communication and boundaries, is applicable to anyone in a relationship, vanilla or otherwise. It would a good foundation book to one's alternative sexual lifestyles library.

The authors define "slut" as "a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you" and segues their reclaiming of the word "slut"as a positive, gender-neutral word into practical discussion as to handling multiple sexual relationships in a ethical manner.
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Read the book "Why women have sex"?

First of all I am not a book promoter but I was in the bookstore the other day and of course the title caught my eye. I picked it up, put it down...later at home I read some reviews and decided I have to buy this book.

I'm almost done and at this point I think its a "must read" for any man today, especially if you are in the "lifestyle" alone or with your wife.
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Reading this book makes me sad to think that Sue is no longer with us and can no longer provide the wonderful example she was to all those in the lifestyle. Sue and her husband, Ron, ran one of the most well-known clubs and conventions in the country for many years. In addition, she often spoke at other lifestyle conventions and was a regular contributor to several swinger magazines. I'm not sure but I got the feeling reading this book that many of the chapters may have originally been articles that she wrote for the various magazines compiled with other info to make a really good book.

Sue was known as the "Swing Mom" and the advice she gives in this book is just as down to earth as any good mom would ever give. Her advice is very real and honest, it's not the fluff that many books give you but the straight facts with good information thrown in. Despite over 20 years of experience in the lifestyle and running in her club she never comes off as pretentious or as if her way of swinging is the only way or the better way.
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I was convinced I would hate this book based on the title. I think it's because of how turned off I get when I see the question "How do I Convince (or get) My Wife to Swing". You can't convince someone to do something they don't want to do, and the idea that someone would try really bothers me.

However, this book is actually pretty good. It is written by women, from a woman's point of view directed at men who are interested in swinging but don't know how to bring it up to their wives.

The one disappointment I had with the book is that I didn't feel it spent enough time early on in establishing that a couple must have a very strong relationship and good communication before anyone considers bringing up the topic. Instead it jumps right into telling you that your desires are normal and that your wife has fantasies too. The book explains to men the questions they need to be able to answer for themselves, as well as their wives, before they ever bring up the topic. From there it goes into explaining why women typically think differently about sex than men do. After that it jumps right into the discussion on how to move forward in your plan to "Get Your Wife to Swing".
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