Time and Communication

C&D · 02-08-2004, 11:23 AM

That's what it took...

If you look back and view our profile you'll see it's been well over a year since we've had any activity on this forum. I am now happy to say that we are officially swingers...Woo Hoo. It took a lot of time and communication but it was well worth the wait.

We have played with a couple locally and even though the results aren't what we wanted (that's another thread) it has not deterred us from the lifestyle. Matter of fact we've been corresponding with a couple for about a month now that we plan on meeting the first weekend in March.

So if anyone is looking for advice...that's it. Time and Communication.

D

Spoomonkey · 02-08-2004, 12:06 PM

Mrs Spoo and I were joking around about this yesterday. The day after a visit to the club is usually spent in varying degrees of naked congress - with lots of talking wrapped around sporatic bursts of sex. She smiled at me and finally said, "Thanks for asking me to swing."

I had to laugh. That was absolutely the scariest thing I have ever done. Here I was, married to a woman that I could not live without and I was bringing up the idea of including others in our love life! Oh, I had brought it up before - jokingly to see if there was any interest there at all - but when it really came time to "pop the question", we were walking towards the car after a long day of work. "Have you ever heard of soft swing?" I asked. She said "no" so I explained it to her (as best as I understood it at the time). She was intrigued by the idea of voyeurism - so we gave it a whirl...

Then, without pushing her and always agreeing that the one with the most restrictive boundaries set the limits, we slowly evolved to where we are now - very comfortable with full swap activities in same-room situations... And she is now the one who finds new places to go and new things to try. I actually catch her surfing for porn or new clubs now... The student has truely become the teacher

We have friends who are involved in the lifestyle where one will be a little bit pushy of the other and it just ends up causing some really nasty scenes. Sure - there are times I'd like something to happen that doesn't because I am not sure that we are on the same page - and I have no doubt that my wife could talk about similar times. But, our most important goal in this lifestyle is to be able to go home and curl up together with naughty grins, fun memories and our passion for each other not just intact, but heightened.

You are 100% correct - with time and communication you may be able to help your mate feel comfortable with the idea of swinging. On the other hand - if you aren't the kind of couple that can show that kind of respect for each other - then chances are there are more problems than just an unrealized fantasy life. The fact that you approached swinging with "time and communication" says much about you as individuals and as a couple. You may have just joined the ranks, but you are miles ahead of those who jump in blind, hoping their partner will follow.

Spoomonkey

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02-08-2004, 11:23 AM	#1 (permalink)
C&D Here to Stay Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 60 Location: Tyler, TX Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:CandD3	Time and Communication That's what it took... If you look back and view our profile you'll see it's been well over a year since we've had any activity on this forum. I am now happy to say that we are officially swingers...Woo Hoo. It took a lot of time and communication but it was well worth the wait. We have played with a couple locally and even though the results aren't what we wanted (that's another thread) it has not deterred us from the lifestyle. Matter of fact we've been corresponding with a couple for about a month now that we plan on meeting the first weekend in March. So if anyone is looking for advice...that's it. Time and Communication. D

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02-08-2004, 12:06 PM	#2 (permalink)
Spoomonkey Chimpin' Ain't Easy Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 6,739 Location: Ohio Status: Married Monkeys - will you be our vine? Swing Lifestyle Name:Spoomonkey	Mrs Spoo and I were joking around about this yesterday. The day after a visit to the club is usually spent in varying degrees of naked congress - with lots of talking wrapped around sporatic bursts of sex. She smiled at me and finally said, "Thanks for asking me to swing." I had to laugh. That was absolutely the scariest thing I have ever done. Here I was, married to a woman that I could not live without and I was bringing up the idea of including others in our love life! Oh, I had brought it up before - jokingly to see if there was any interest there at all - but when it really came time to "pop the question", we were walking towards the car after a long day of work. "Have you ever heard of soft swing?" I asked. She said "no" so I explained it to her (as best as I understood it at the time). She was intrigued by the idea of voyeurism - so we gave it a whirl... Then, without pushing her and always agreeing that the one with the most restrictive boundaries set the limits, we slowly evolved to where we are now - very comfortable with full swap activities in same-room situations... And she is now the one who finds new places to go and new things to try. I actually catch her surfing for porn or new clubs now... The student has truely become the teacher We have friends who are involved in the lifestyle where one will be a little bit pushy of the other and it just ends up causing some really nasty scenes. Sure - there are times I'd like something to happen that doesn't because I am not sure that we are on the same page - and I have no doubt that my wife could talk about similar times. But, our most important goal in this lifestyle is to be able to go home and curl up together with naughty grins, fun memories and our passion for each other not just intact, but heightened. You are 100% correct - with time and communication you may be able to help your mate feel comfortable with the idea of swinging. On the other hand - if you aren't the kind of couple that can show that kind of respect for each other - then chances are there are more problems than just an unrealized fantasy life. The fact that you approached swinging with "time and communication" says much about you as individuals and as a couple. You may have just joined the ranks, but you are miles ahead of those who jump in blind, hoping their partner will follow. Spoomonkey