Should I tell my husband I wasn't having orgasms?

Here's the story, in all the 13 years we've been married I never had an orgasm. i always just faked it. i enjoyed the cuddling but strict upbringing i didn't think i could enjoy sex. last month hubby talk me into swinging with a nother couple. i didn't expect it to be any different id been faking, i could fake with someone else as easy. Something happened i got into it with the guy and had my first orgasm. i screamed. it was great. the next week i had one with hubby to. last saturday we did it again and it was even better i had three orgasms in one night since then hubby told me three times that our sex has really got better. it has i getorgams almost every time now
hubby was always good lover it was just me he always waited for me so i faked it so he could finish
the problem is that hubby told me lots of times that his pleasure was because I enjoyed it i felt guilty lying about faking it. should i tell him that i was faking it two make it better for him / i feel guilty i feel sorry i took so long to learn to orgasm. i feel i should tell him but it would prolally break his heart to think he wasnt pleasing me for 13 years.
sorry about typing why do they put the letters in the wrong places

[Chip_n_Muffy]

Why would you do that, what could you possibly gain by hurting your husband needlessly? You have moved to YOUR next level sexually, why would you denigrade him now? What good could come of it? I absolutely don't get this one.

Chip

[graygo98]

Dito Dito Dito

And congratulations to you both! Just when you think its as good as it gets... it gets better!

[Zoe&Wash]

You've probably also never told him that you hate his mother's oyster stuffing every year at Thanksgiving. Nor do you need to.

Let this dog sleep.

W

[eager4more]

Congrats on your newfound level of fun

Who would benefit from your telling him - you, him or both - and how? In the short-term or in the long run?

On one hand I agree with the previous posts, but if iyou don't tell him and it turns into something that's going to eat at you for years, that could affect you both in the long run as well.

Sorry for the wishy-washy non-answer...

[sim]

yes I agree.have ur fun and enjoy life now.forget about telling him anything

[Everlearning]

You said you feel really bad for faking for so long. You also said that his satisfaction comes from pleasing you. I fully understand that. I will gladly do without if that is what it would take to please my partner. You now have the ability to please him very much by the very fact that you are able to enjoy so much more. So, all that to say this: if you want to make it up to him, continue to have as much fun and get as much as you can out of every lovemaking session and he will be very pleased. I know the greatest feeling I get comes from my partners pleasure. I'm sure he feels the same way.

[Spoomonkey]

I believe in honesty between a couple, but I tend to agree here. I would simply talk about how much more you are enjoying sex now that you two are more adventurous. Obviously, he does it for you, so it isn't like there is going to be a lingering problem with this.

I would let it go and embrace your new experiences with him - let him now become the world's greatest lover for you and the rest of it (the past) won't be that big a deal anyway.

Spoomonkey

[intuition897]

This thread is actually something I can relate to, unfortunately. Mr. and I have been married 10+ years now and for about the first two years (I think, can't remember exactly), I had faked it. We married very young (I was 19) and still hadn't quite grown into my sexuality. I was all about impressing and pleasing my partner back then and I couldn't get the hang of having an orgasm with someone else in the room :rolleyes Ah the stupidity of youth. So anyway, one night after an argument, we were mad and had some "angry sex". Something just clicked and I had finally had an orgasm - a really real one - with him. To him it was business as usual, but I was ready to crack open some champagne! It finally got the better of me because I really wanted to share this with him, so I confessed. He was understandably hurt, and it took quite a lot of talking to convince him that it was a problem with me, not him. He forgave me and we moved on. I think in the end he appreciated my honesty (honesty is extremely important to him), but it was a definite mistake on my part to lie in the first place.

Unregistered, it really depends on the kind of person your husband is. If he's like mine, he'd be more upset that you witheld this from him (in essence continuing to lie) than he would with the truth. There's no doubt he will be hurt by this if you told him, and will doubly doubt himself because your first orgasm happened not with him, but with another man! We can all logically agree that it wasn't your husband's lack of sexual prowess that was the problem, but with yourself as you said. It's not terribly surprising that a swinging encounter gave your sensory system the shock or jump-start it needed to push you over the top; in order to enjoy it, all inhibitions should be checked at the door, and it sounds like whatever it was that was inhibiting your orgasming got checked at the door that night too! This is a great thing. Maybe men don't generally understand this, but not all women can just get off at the drop of a hat. For some of us, there's a trick to it. Kind of like trying to explain to someone who's never done it how to swallow, or sneeze, or hiccup. Everyone has to figure it out for themselves. It just comes more naturally to some than others.

Bottom line: it all depends on what you can live with and what kind of person your husband is.

[Fred&Wilma]

Realize your hubby has already figured it out on his own that you have reached the level of screaming orgasm's.
In fact he probably knew before when you were faking it (very hard for the eyes to fake it)
Rather than make a scene or create an uncomfortable situation he may have found a way to take it to the next level in a non-confrontational manner instead.
Also who really cares how you got there, but that you did. Can you imagine going through life and never reaching that level? What a waste that would be.

Here's to those shatter the windows and soak the bed orgasm's. Wahoo!

[flassh]

Don't tell him. It is not appropriate given that it happened with another man. Swinging is titilation for guys for several reasons. 1) visual 2) instinctual 3) validation of his merit with keeping his woman satisfied and by showing her off and sharing his treasure.......Guys truly live out some fantasy thru their wives pleasure giving abilities

[two4youinswva]

All you need to tell him is that the sex you're having with him now is the best it's ever been. And isn't that the truth?

[DBL D]

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

All you need to tell him is that the sex you're having with him now is the best it's ever been. And isn't that the truth?

I can't agree more. I truly believe in honesty but one just can't relate everything that comes across ones mind. Besides if he's like me, he probably could tell you were faking it. That only works on film. LOL. Now that you have had a real orgasm, you know that must be true. He was very patient with you all those years and I'm sure he's no dummy. He kept you anyway.

Let dat dawg sleep.

Male D

[LongPlayShareD]

Swinging always has its way of Improving
The relationship, the marriage as is the case.

I would admit,, as he did admit..
that your Sexual Enlightment,, has become,,Better.

For there is Nothing wrong,,,
Its just Getting Better,,,,Soon to be Great!!....

You'd Never have the Hott..Ooh soo Wet,,Ecstacy..
Of Explosive,, Unending,,, Climaxes

For we all are here
To ExplorGasm facelick

[WesternSwing]

I can tell you I'd never want to know. I wouldn't tell him and just enjoy your new found pleasure. It sounds like he is having an even better time too. And like others have said, he probably has figured it out on his own. But there is no reason to create a problem where one doesn't exist.

Mr. WS