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Thread: Heard her masturbating - do I tell her?

  1. #1

    Default Heard her masturbating - do I tell her?

    This doesn't have anything to do with swinging, but I would appreciate the advice of more open minded people on the subject.

    My wife just learned to masturbate (in the shower) and has started doing it regularly. She has mentioned this on a few occassions after sex. I asked her if I could watch some time and she said yes.

    Long story short, her attempt to be quiet this morning failed and I heard her for the first time.

    Here's my question... do I tell her that I heard her and tell her how sexy it was and how hot it made me? Or, do I just leave her to her privacy? She is a bit of an emerging exhibitionist, but I still don't want to embarass her.

    Any thoughts?
    Last edited by incommunicado; 06-05-2003 at 09:51 AM.

  2. #2

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    I would bring it up to her, but not as part of everyday conversaton. I would do it the next time you are making love, during your foreplay when she will be already feeling sexually excited. Tell her how hot it made you and how erotic it was for you. Again, tell her that you would love to watch her some time, that thought of it is just driving you wild.

    What this should do is keep her from feeling any embarassment about being 'a little loud' and she may get even louder now just beacause she knows it drives you wild. Don't rush to the shower unless she invites you, wait a few days or a few times and the next time she gets to rocking in the shower step in with her and tell her you just couldn't stand it anymore, she was driving you wild with lust.

    Chances are you'll open a whole new avenue of play for the both of you.

    Good Luck!

    Mrs. 'O'
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  3. #3

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    Yep, I'd ditto what Mrs O advised.

    Enjoy the adventure!


  4. #4

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    I think that you could suttly mention to her, perhaps in a "playful" way that you heard her and how it turned you on. I wouldn't comment to much on how load she was unless the neighbors could hear or children were close by. I would hate for her to be worried about it and then you miss out on that in the future.
    I put the "grrrr" in swinger baby, yeah!

    --Austin Powers

  5. #5

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    Ditto of Mrs. O.

    or you could try saying

    "I thought I heard you but wasn't sure but just the thought of it heats me up."

    Naughty A.
    The proper response to "Good morning" is not "Prove it!"

  6. #6

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    Or you could yell out loudly:

    "HEY, ARE YOU KILLING A CAT IN THERE?"

    j/k

    If it turns you on, bring it up.
    M&M

    Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

  7. #7

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    Originally posted by ciscosv
    Or you could yell out loudly:

    "HEY, ARE YOU KILLING A CAT IN THERE?"

    j/k

    If it turns you on, bring it up.

  8. #8

    Default

    I don't know that I would bring it up to her. I am an exhibitionist (even been arrested for it three times) and a real turn on for me is to be masturbating and being watched, tho not knowing anyone's watching til either they can't control themselves any longer or I see them out of the corner of my eye. I once masturbated while the roofers, who were putting the roof on my condo watched, but that's another story.

    Jim likes to watch me masturbate and I love for him to watch, but it's much more thrilling when I either get *caught* or I'm having a session, thinking he's gone or not home and he comes home and very quietly watches from outside whichever room I'm in, not revealing himself til I'm done or until I *see* him peeking through the door.

    She's already given you the go ahead to watch. She doesn't have to know you're there or when you're watching, yanno.

    This could also open up an avenue of playful fun for the two of you. For instance, occasionally Jim will tell me under no circumstance am I to play with myself for X amount of days, which is IMPOSSIBLE. And if he *catches* me, either I get a spanking which leads to terrific sex (right, Julie ) or I become a *love slave* doing what he wants when he wants on demand and there are a few other things that can happen that I won't go into.

    While you can bring it up to her if you want, you run the risk of possibly embarrassing her (especially if she's never allowed anyone to see her masturbate) whereas, maybe staying afar for right now and inching yourself slowly towards her masturbation session (for instance just listening a few times, then coping a short peek, then coping a longer peek, etc etc) until you feel comfortable enough and think she's comfortable enough that if you make your presence known (not by bustin in with a raging hardon), she'll continue on and let it take it's course from there.

    Just MHO.

    Quin


    ()()
    One thing about me is that I'm consistant in my behavior, my thoughts, and my posting. I don't sell out or change for any reason outside of my own self wanting to. What you see is what you get: today, tomorrow and every day after that.

  9. #9

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    It is possible that you could let her discover you masturbating yourself when she gets out of the shower. And if she ask why you were doing it--just let her know you were envisioning her masturbating herself--and you couldnt resist


    Or---do u think she would be offended if you joined her in the shower while she is masturbating--tell her u want to wtch her enjoy herself???

  10. #10

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    Thanks! I appreciate all the input. I've decided to let her have her privacy. It's not hurting anything for me not to be involved in the scenario and I don't want to make her feel wary about doing something pleasurable for herself. I can always enjoy it if I hear it happening again.

  11. #11

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    [QUOTE]Originally posted by ciscosv
    [B]Or you could yell out loudly:

    "HEY, ARE YOU KILLING A CAT IN THERE?"

    j/k




    Good one......even for a serious subject. Next time you think about her in the shower, walk up behind her, kiss her neck (my personal favorite of things to be kissed above the waist) and tell her how hot she made you.......but don't really ask her if she is killing a cat!!!
    If you're not living on the edge, then you are taking up too much space.



    P...is she
    D...is he

  12. #12

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    Keep quiet about it. Masturbating in private is a private moment of personal intamacy. It's one thing to play with yourself in front of your partner to turn them on. It's another thing when you do it in private for your own pleasure. If she wants you to know that she is masturbating to turn you on, she will make it VERY OBVIOUS (like "OH God! Get in Here and DO ME!!!").
    It would feel like an invasion of privacy if you told her that you know, when she thought she was keeping it to herself. It would be less painful for her to come downstairs and find you rifling through the contents of her purse, spread out on the kitchen table.
    Nothing is foolproof, for it inevitably underestimates the ingenuity of the fool.

  13. #13

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    Originally posted by LarrySmith
    Keep quiet about it. Masturbating in private is a private moment of personal intamacy. It's one thing to play with yourself in front of your partner to turn them on. It's another thing when you do it in private for your own pleasure. If she wants you to know that she is masturbating to turn you on, she will make it VERY OBVIOUS (like "OH God! Get in Here and DO ME!!!").
    It would feel like an invasion of privacy if you told her that you know, when she thought she was keeping it to herself. It would be less painful for her to come downstairs and find you rifling through the contents of her purse, spread out on the kitchen table.
    good thought...but because she is doing it in the shower...makes me think she is getting pleasure from the water...not trying to hide...I think she might be dropping hints...I say bring it up.

    J and I play in front of each other all the time...Its a great addition to relationship!
    "Bacon and Boobs make everything better!"
    D (2003)

    She is J...He is D

  14. #14

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    I have to disagree with you Larry.

    I don't think any door should be closed on a couples sexuality without discussing it. If he brings it up in the fashion that it has been discussed prior, it is not violating her 'privacy' or compromising it. By discussing it with each other, he is able to express his desire and she can share with him how she feels about allowing him to watch her. To not discuss it means that 'incommunicado' is having to stifle his desires and she is having to hide something in which she derives pleasure.

    What is the worst thing she can say? "No, I'm not comfortable with that, because...." And even if she say's 'NO', who knows, maybe she will derive even more pleasure knowing that it is driving him wild whilst making for a more intense orgasm for her.

    Win, Win situation, in my opinion.
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  15. #15

    Talking

    You say she has mentioned it a few times after sex so until she does again I would just continue to enjoy the sounds of her enjoying herself. Go ahead and masturbate yourself if this gets you that hot while you listen.
    If she ever brings it up after the heat of passion then perhaps you can tell her that you heard her and tell her how sexy it was and how hot it made you. I doubt that she'll be very upset about it.
    Then you can tell her again that perhaps if she's not against it you could watch her so she can see how much pleasure you get from it. It can only heighten your sexual intimacy...

    Just my opinions,


    Tigress xx
    Nothing in this world is accomplished without passion.

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