Group Dynamics

[JustAskJulie]

This was a topic that was discussed during last nights chat and I wanted to bring it back up here in regards to how it relates to this board.

When new people come to the board how do you expect them to act?

What actions turn you off to other users?

What things are likely to land someone on your ignore list?

Someone mentioned an "Etiquette Guide", I'm assuming this is something beyond the Expected Behaviour thread? If so, what should it be and how should we ensure that all new users see this and read it?

[Elusive BiFem]

Hmmmm....Julie....you were doing that as I was writing up my thing on Group Dynamics! Great minds thinking alike?

You may want to go back and delete my post. I put it in General Chat.

Sorry...- EBF :slam"

[JustAskJulie]

Nah we'll leave it. You took a slightly different angle on things so we'll see if either of us gets any response....lol.

[Elusive BiFem]

Ok by me. However, at least your's is getting some views. Nobody is even looking at mine.

Hey Everybody!! Head over to the Cafe Forum and look at my post on Group Dynamics! Please????

- EBF

[Miss_Piggy]

Let's make a link to it to possibly increase it's exposure.

Click here for EBF's thread on group dynamics

[Elusive BiFem]

Thank you, Miss Piggy. But in the name of all that is fair, will you make a link from mine to Julies?

- EBF

[Elusive BiFem]

My questions on Group Dynamics were a little different than these, so I'm taking a stab here...

Originally posted by JustAskJulie
This was a topic that was discussed during last nights chat and I wanted to bring it back up here in regards to how it relates to this board.

When new people come to the board how do you expect them to act?

I like to see people post an intro that tells me something about them. Something that I can really latch onto and maybe start a conversation with them about. Kind of lets me get a feel for them. Beyond that, I like for them to get involved. Everyone has ideas and opinions that can be valuable. However, I also feel they need to exercise just a bit of caution until everyone gets to know everyone. Whether we like it or not...little groups do form and it just takes some time to become part of that group.

What actions turn you off to other users?

Several things. People that think they know what I'm thinking. People that make negative comments regarding ongoing discussions without benefit of having gone back to see what the real facts/issues/concerns were and are. People that get too friendly with me too quickly via PM. And no, I'm not talking about friendly PM's that say hi...noticed your comments...agree with your comments...that sort of thing. I'm talking more personal "Hey you wanna meet up!" types of things. Also, I don't like condescending and/or patronizing attitudes..."ya'll don't know what you're talking about....I'm the gift to the swinging world..." And immediate negativity or argumentativeness.

What things are likely to land someone on your ignore list?

See above. The #1 thing is the "too personal" PM. Total shutdown on that one.

Someone mentioned an "Etiquette Guide", I'm assuming this is something beyond the Expected Behaviour thread? If so, what should it be and how should we ensure that all new users see this and read it?

I personally don't think an Etiquette Guide is the way to go. You already have that type of information posted in the announcement forum. Unfortunately, most people don't take the time to read that stuff...and really, the board is kind of overwhelming when you first start. Plus...so many interesting things going on that people don't want to take the time with the housekeeping chores. Can't blame them there.

Perhaps...when member's join, they are automatically sent a copy of the announcements forum with that information and before they can post, they have to read that? Could the board be set up that way? Or, maybe, when they do post an intro, the first person to respond, moderator or regular member, post a link to that forum with the suggestion they browse through it?

Maybe others have better ideas. All in all, though, I don't see it as a huge issue since we don't have that problem too often.

- EBF

[JustAskJulie]

Like anything there is no way to MAKE someone read anything. YOu can put it there and say "check this box to acknowledge you read it".... but how many of those boxes have you checked without ever having actually read the text?

[Elusive BiFem]

Good point. I think I probably would have read it had I been directed to it right off the bat. However, this was my first message board experience and I really didn't know what to do and would have done whatever anyone told me to do. Others with more experience might well say, yeah, yeah, yeah...Check!

OK...second suggestion...if things start getting out of hand how about you or your representative send them a friendly PM with that same link. Just a gentle nudge in the right direction. That might be better since it isn't a major problem on this board.

- EBF

[JustAskJulie]

That is probably a good suggestion for all moderators if they notice that someone isn't sticking to the expected behaviour.

[Elusive BiFem]

Thank Goodness!! I thought I was going to have to answer another question and dig myself out of another hole!

- EBF

[cek]

Good comments, hope many read them.
Oh it is sooooo hard to write what you
intend when so often we use body jestures
or other means to augment our oral
communications.

Good and wise words folks.

[cek]

Well I profoundly say thank you for
some of the posts that show what
is expected, etc.

Maybe, a page (er post) with the
various suggested links that people
would get to or see first might be good.

I, for one, missed that whole section.
Better late than never, I guess,
but I am enjoying some of the posts
and threads that I did not even know
existed before.

Don't know how to make people read
but maybe making the links more obious
would be good. I thank "Miss Piggy"(?) for that.

[JustAskJulie]

Actually those links are the first thing you see if you come here and aren't registered yet. And they do go out in the Welcoming email when you register as well. Just goes back to the old saying, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

[Elusive BiFem]

Yes, cek...they are good and wise words and the reason for the success of this board. Most people come here and spend some time getting to know others before jumping in helter skelter all over the place. I read your other thing...you wanted a t-shirt . Not a bad goal...but I think they are all gone. However, you can always purchase one.

I've read your many post tonight and find it fascinating that in just 4-5 days of membership, you are averaging over 14 post per day. That is far more than the owner of this board!! However, most of your post tonight have made some sense and it does seem you are attempting to make a contribution rather than just posting to see your name in lights or something. In the meantime, take a close look at this from Julie:

- Show common courtesy. Remember that if you are new here, people don't know you YET. But we do want to get to know you. It is best when you initially start posting to do so in a manner as to not offend anyone. Many people don't take too kindly when you get too friendly on the first few posts. We don't know you yet, so we may not realize you are joking and we may feel uncomfortable if you start treating us like you are our best friend. Start slow, we'll get to know you and we'll all share a mutual respect and admiration in no time.

See what I mean? And again, real contributions are always welcome as are real questions. Frankly, your early stuff came across as quite condescendng and patronizing - something few of us appreciate. As I told you before, this is a message board and not a chat board as you may be used to. Maybe you are getting the hang of it now. I hope so.

- EBF