Memory Lane: How did you get here?

[Babysteps]

It's very funny that I should click on this thread today, my Honey and I took a little "walk down memory lane" last night. I became a member in '06, this was when he first suggested to me that the L/S might be something that would interest us. And he suggested it in a very delicate, absolutely NON-pushy way too. My reaction? Complete devastation. And yes, that "devastation", was wholely the result of ignorance. I was desperate to learn as much as I could about the L/S, VERY curious too, and I stumbled across this site. The Swingersboard was an absolute Godsend for me.

I came here without his knowledge and began to research the L/S, learn as much about every aspect as I could. After some time I began to post. Some of Ya'll got a little frustrated with me at times, I did and still do appreciate the time that you took responding to my questions and concerns. And when I say that I came here "without his knowledge", I don't mean that I was worried about how he'd react, and I wasn't trying to do anything behind his back, it was just something I needed to explore on my own, and at my own pace, although now when I look back, I sure wish that I had allowed HIM the opportunity to be involved WITH me, to share my thoughts and feelings with ( which IS of course the advice that Ya'all gave me all along)

I soon became aware of how partaking in "recreational sex" could have very real benefits to a marriage/committed relationship, mostly the communication that is necessary to successfully swing, or to entertain the possibility of swinging. The kind of communication that is essential to having a healthy relationship, swinging or not. There really IS quite a community here, and I find you all to be very reasonable, intelligent, informed and most of all CARING people!

Eventually we began to have conversations about the L/S. He shared with me the story of how he became involved in it, and what about the L/S appealed to him. I was very intrigued. We began to have some SOLID talks, which did nothing but help me better understand, and ease many of my fears and concerns.

Not long ago he asked me if I would mind if he came to the board, I said, OF COURSE NOT! I have learned alot and grown alot since I first joined, and I warned him about some of my initial posts here, I told him at the time I was very hurt and confused, he said, "doesn't matter, I won't even read them". I told him, no, I want you to read them. For a long time he didn't, but I would sometimes make reference to something that someone said to me at that time, and his curiosity became picqued.

Last night he read my early posts. Some things that I mentioned tore him up, he said he wished he knew how I was feeling at that time, ( it was unfair of me to keep him out of the loop, I now regret that decision, but a part of me still feels it was a necessary decision for me to learn the way I did, if that makes sense). The thread is in archives, so he couldn't reply to some things he wanted to. No matter now anyways....its all good.

So THAT is how I got here, and that is how Truckerbuddy got here too. A journey that we continue to take, sometimes fearlessly, sometimes not, but ALWAYS together, and ALWAYS with very open and honest communication!

[truckerbuddy]

Well, I didn't find it, I was brought here by a lovely lady, I think you all know her as
( babysteps ) And I think you know that she is the love of my life.

When I frist asked her about swinging, she ask ( what is it all about ) I tryed to tell her the best way i knew how. but at the time, I didn't know just how bad it hurt her, not intell i read her first posts. with myself haveing some experience, I know it's not for everyone, and if I had know just bad she felt about it, I would have told her to drop it, I needed/wanted her more than anything that the lifestyle could ever bring. but now with the open honest communications, and giving her time to explore, there may come a time that ( maybe ) we can play together.

So what what brought me to this site?? one love filled lady that I love with all my hart

hugsss and long hot wet loving kisss to my babysteps

[Babysteps]

Originally Posted by truckerbuddy

Well, I didn't find it, I was brought here by a lovely lady, I think you all know her as
( babysteps ) And I think you know that she is the love of my life.

When I frist asked her about swinging, she ask ( what is it all about ) I tryed to tell her the best way i knew how. but at the time, I didn't know just how bad it hurt her, not intell i read her first posts. with myself haveing some experience, I know it's not for everyone, and if I had know just bad she felt about it, I would have told her to drop it, I needed/wanted her more than anything that the lifestyle could ever bring. but now with the open honest communications, and giving her time to explore, there may come a time that ( maybe ) we can play together.

So what what brought me to this site?? one love filled lady that I love with all my hart

hugsss and long hot wet loving kisss to my babysteps

[ALilOEverything]

I've always been interested in threesomes, foursomes and moresomes since I was a teenager. I found out what swinging was when I was 15 and found a copy of my parents Michigan Connection magazine. I read the magazine cover to cover and the seed was planted. I dabbled in it over the years in my late teens and my 20's. When the internet came into my home one night I searched swinging but at the time there were very few sites for personal ads. There was no organization to them, all on one page for all ads across the U.S. There happened to be a couple 45 minutes from my former husband and I but it was obvious from the beginning we weren't compatible. We talked about it occasionally when discussing fantasies and a few years later we decided to see what the internet had come up with. We put an ad on AFF and I wanted to do more reading about swinging. I was a message board junkie anyway and hoped to find a quality board that wasn't full of spammers and ads. When I found this site I was hooked from the beginning and became a very active member and even a mod for a time. Life circumstances brought swinging to a hault and we ended up divorcing for reasons unrelated to swinging. I left the boards because swinging was no longer a part of my life and I didn't have any interest in swinging as a single female as I needed to give myself time to heal emotionally. My new husband had a MFM experience and I was very open and honest about my entired history. He was intrigued, interested but more interested in being with just me. We talked about swinging on occasion but nothing seriously, I came back to the boards briefly a year ago to show him more of what it was about. We weren't wanting to seek out swinging at that point. Last week it was brought up (I don't remember by who) that going to a club would be fun. We talked very deeply about it and decided to go for it. Of course I had to come back to the boards as this is always a warm place to come and it was good to refresh my memory. He isn't into message boards but he does enjoy hearing me read about issues pertinent to us. Our club experience was awesome once he got over the initial jitters of walking through the door. We'll probably go back in a few weeks so it looks like I might be back to the boards to stay!