so this is spam

[Alura]

I'm just a hick Okie and I don't pretend to know the difference between "advertising" a meet and greet and "spamming." I do know that you may not do either in the Meet Up! forum.

Here's the apology you requested in your private message:

I'm sorry you interpreted my request that you not spam (advertise) us as my having called you "spammers." That was not my intention.

Now that you've won, perhaps you, like I, can go to bed and get some sleep.

Mr. Alura

[good times]

I was one of the people that reported your post in the meet up forum to Mr. Alura as spam. Why I did that is that it does not meet the criteria for a swingers board meet up as defined in the rules for that forum. You were advertising a regular meet and great that you host that is open to everyone. Swingersboard meet ups, on the other hand, are limited to Swingersboard members only. Advertising meet and greets or socials is not allowed on these forums. So yes, by the rules of the forums your post in the meet up forum would be considered spam.

[twoforone100]

Thank you. Pretty simple You get to make a choice when you do things. You can be rude or not. Life is simple when you are nice. The first time. I don't mind being told what to do in your house. You could have said what the problem was clearly the first time. It is your right and your job to enforce the rules. But I do mind if you are rude about it. If you say it polite fine. But to call it spam the first time and be rude about it. Yeah i gonna take that personally. You might want to spend some time being proactive with a clear statement of the rules in that fourm. It might help you sleep at night. It might solve some issues. It is not a matter of winning it is a matter of being polite and doing what is right. And it is not an apology when you put limits on it. Sort of like the kid who says "i am sorry but" You either are or you are not. But thanks again. Have a nice life and good luck in all of your activities. Patrick pattie

[Tybee Swing]

Swingers Board Meet Ups! are for members and regular posters of the board to meet for dinner or some similar non-threatening venue to put faces with the screen names and to talk about Board issues. They are not intended to lead to sex.

Originally Posted by Alura

My perception of a "meet and greet" is a gathering which swingers attend hoping to meet potential playmates.

My impression of the Meet Up is that it is a good-sized gathering of swingers who are getting together to socialize and simply have fun. Like any meet-and-greet, there is no expectation of sex. But certainly, any social situation in which swingers are gathering, they are usually hoping to meet potential playmates - or at least they are open to it, if there is attraction. In this regard, I see no difference at all between a meet-and-greet and a Meet Up.

I'm not saying that people should advertise their events on the board (I'm not even addressing that). I'm just suggesting that in reality there's no difference between swingers traveling to meet at a Meet Up vs. meeting at a more localized event. If anything, because they're spending a lot more money and time in order to attend, they might be a bit more hopeful of the possibilities than they would be at the local pub gathering.

We were going to attend in Nashville, but had to cancel, unfortunately. If we had thought the Meet Up was just having dinner and discussing board issues, honestly we wouldn't have bothered, because our time and money is in short supply these days. Although we never have any expectations about sex, we were open to meet potential playmates, and were definitely going to be attending Menages if we were able to attend. To us, this event appeared to be a large-scale meet-and-greet. Anybody could read about the event, become a board member here, and attend.

[JustAskJulie]

Mr Alura did the right thing. He works for me (voluntarily I may add), so if you have a problem with him, you have a problem with me. LikeMinds has already pointed out what rule you broke, the very basic rule of the Meetup forum - the most basic rule. The Meetup forum is NOT for announcing on-going meet & greets, it is for setting up Meet Ups (like the recent one in Reno and the upcoming one in Nashville) to encourage members of the board to come together and put faces with names.

I'm sorry if you feel you have been slighted but you have not. You got the same PM that Mr Alura has sent to many others and you are the first to have a major issue with it. If you have an issue with him and his PM to you, then you have an issue with me and this board. So you have two choices, leave or chill out.

[twoforone100]

My issue was never with your rules it was how we were told about it. The email was and is rude. Have fun with your website. Feel we must just disagree. Patrick pattie

[mrs good times]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

My impression of the Meet Up is that it is a good-sized gathering of swingers who are getting together to socialize and simply have fun. Like any meet-and-greet, there is no expectation of sex. But certainly, any social situation in which swingers are gathering, they are usually hoping to meet potential playmates - or at least they are open to it, if there is attraction. In this regard, I see no difference at all between a meet-and-greet and a Meet Up.

I'm not saying that people should advertise their events on the board (I'm not even addressing that). I'm just suggesting that in reality there's no difference between swingers traveling to meet at a Meet Up vs. meeting at a more localized event. If anything, because they're spending a lot more money and time in order to attend, they might be a bit more hopeful of the possibilities than they would be at the local pub gathering.

We were going to attend in Nashville, but had to cancel, unfortunately. If we had thought the Meet Up was just having dinner and discussing board issues, honestly we wouldn't have bothered, because our time and money is in short supply these days. Although we never have any expectations about sex, we were open to meet potential playmates, and were definitely going to be attending Menages if we were able to attend. To us, this event appeared to be a large-scale meet-and-greet.

I think you have the wrong impression of the meet ups. I have hosted two and attended four and at no time did I go wanting to "hook up". I go because I want to meet the wonderful people on this board and get to know them better. We have and will spend a lot of money to travel to these meet ups because we have made some true friends on this board and look forward to seeing them again. Because of the distance between us, meet ups are about the only chance we get to sit down face to face and enjoy each others company. Pm'ing or talking on the phone isn't nearly as much fun. This is an amazing opportunity to meet in person the people you think you know from their posts and to potentially make life long friends. We have been lucky enough to do just that and hope Nashville will prove to be the same.

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

Anybody could read about the event, become a board member here, and attend.

Your right and it does happen. We had this situation at the last Reno meet up. I have found that those who sign up just to attend a meet up are sorely disappointed in the meet up because they expected to get laid and didn't. They are not familiar with the board or the people so tend to not be able to follow the conversations, jokes or the camaraderie that is there naturally with those that post and read often.

[Tybee Swing]

Meeting the people here face to face, having some laughs, and possibly making lifelong friends does sound great. After having read here so much (we started reading here as newbies) and then posting here so much also, I was really looking forward to that. We were sad that we had to cancel.

BUT, this is a group of swingers after all, and the group is planning to go to a great on-premise club. You don't mean to insinuate that sex doesn't happen, right?

We would never expect to get laid, either at a local event or at a board Meet Up. We've never attended anything with expectations. But we would think that the possibility exists equally, at either type of event. Where swingers are gathered, stuff happens. That was my main point. Is this still the wrong impression of this board's Meet Ups?

[mrs good times]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

Meeting the people here face to face, having some laughs, and possibly making lifelong friends does sound great. After having read here so much (we started reading here as newbies) and then posting here so much also, I was really looking forward to that. We were sad that we had to cancel.

We are sorry you had to cancel too because we would have liked to meet you. Having read many of your posts I would have enjoyed asking you some questions and being able to look you in the face to get the real impression of your answer. That is the part that is missing from the internet.

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

BUT, this is a group of swingers after all, and the group is planning to go to a great on-premise club. You don't mean to insinuate that sex doesn't happen, right?

We would never expect to get laid, either at a local event or at a board Meet Up. We've never attended anything with expectations. But we would think that the possibility exists equally, at either type of event. Where swingers are gathered, stuff happens. That was my main point. Is this still the wrong impression of this board's Meet Ups?

At both of the Reno meet ups we went to swingers clubs to expose others to the differences in clubs across the country. We can openly talk without worry that the people at the next table will be offended, we can dance and be ourselves. Has sex ever happened at a meet up? I suppose but everyone is so busy visiting and seeing the sights or showing others the sights that there is little time for working on a "hook up". We are spending time getting to know everyone not just one couple that we may find attractive. So yes, I do think you have the wrong impression.

[catalina8591]

241 - i agree with you! I live way way over here and if we were settign up a meet and greet it would be on a number of boards simply because I thinkt here are probably just a small handful (so far i have found only 1 other) people from Hawaii. Gee what fun for a meet and greet? Okay in any big city that might be fun. Also i think if one of you all were comign to Hawaii and we had a meet & greet cooincidentally at the same time, it would give you the opportunity to possible meet some one that interest you on your vacation. A large portion of our population at any one time is visitors...

[Alura]

I'm sure "meet and greets" are great fun and an important part of the swinger lifestyle. I hope everyone who goes to one enjoys themselves. We've been to a couple over the years. Some were fun and some were not.

Swingers Board Meet Ups! (Note the exclamation point. It's an integral part of the trademark and one of the many things that makes our Meet Ups! unique.) are not "meet and greets."

The terms Meet Up! and Meet Ups! are the property of the Swingers Board (That means Julie.) and the Meet Up! forum exists solely to support Swingers Board Meet Ups!

The Swingers Board is also unique in that it's main reason for existance is NOT to facilitate swingers meeting one another, but to discuss. That philosophy carries over into Swingers Board Meet Ups! and is an important difference between Meet Ups! and "meet and greets." We don't have Swingers Board Meet and Greets!

If a user, member or not, spams us in the Meet Up! forum with an advertisement for his "meet and greet" or any other activity that is not a Swingers Board Meet Up! it will be promptly removed. We will write a PM to the poster explaining nicely why the post was removed. The PM will be much like the one sent to Twoforone, as the last 150 (or so) have been.

Please read "About the Meet Up! forum" if you have any further questions or ask Julie or me in a Private Message.

Mr. Alura

[twoforone100]

We were just saying that pm should be rethought and be less rude and not call people spammers when your rules are not clearly stated. Your rules your website. There is no need to be rude and the first time someone breaks them perhaps you should point them in the direction of the rules not resort to name calling. patrick pattie

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Alura

Swingers Board Meet Ups! (Note the exclamation point. It's an integral part of the trademark and one of the many things that makes our Meet Ups! unique.) are not "meet and greets."
...
The Swingers Board is also unique in that it's main reason for existance is NOT to facilitate swingers meeting one another, but to discuss. That philosophy carries over into Swingers Board Meet Ups! and is an important difference between Meet Ups! and "meet and greets." We don't have Swingers Board Meet and Greets!

Mr. Alura,

I went to the Meet Up forum as you suggested, and read the three posts at the top by Julie, labeled as "important". In none of them did I see your "trademark" exclamation point, or mention of it. In fact, I did see where Julie referred to the meet up as a meet and greet:

"If you have a meet up and it turns into more after the fact that is up to you, but it should not be advertised here as anything but a simple meet and greet where anyone and everyone would feel welcome and be able to meet others with like-minds, make friends and perhaps learn more about how this lifestyle fits them (and in some cases if it does)."

In our experience, that's what a meet and greet is - just a gathering in a neutral place, just to hang out and talk, absolutely no pressure, absolutely no expectations. You meet. You greet. (I wouldn't expect it to be anything else.)

Throughout this board, there are posts about people connecting at past events over the course of the Meet Up weekend (after the dinner, of course). I received PM's stating the same thing. But I'm told that my "impression" that couples might connect at a Meet Up is incorrect. I think the spin that's being put on this seems dishonest and creepy. I'm sure you all have your reasons.

Edited to add: Throughout those three threads labeled "important" in the Meet Up Forum, the term "meet and greet" is used frequently by regulars in regard to the Meet Ups.

I've been around here for awhile, but the Meet Up philosophy and definition is very hazy at best, and several of the posts are contradictory. (If it seems that way to me, imagine how hazy it is for newbies on the board.) Perhaps the board has redefined what a Meet Up is over the years, but forgot to go back and edit all of the posts that are supposed to explain it. If nothing else, clarity is very much needed.

[Mr. Truelove]

Originally Posted by twoforone100

We were just saying that pm should be rethought and be less rude and not call people spammers when your rules are not clearly stated. Your rules your website. There is no need to be rude and the first time someone breaks them perhaps you should point them in the direction of the rules not resort to name calling. patrick pattie

Mr. Alura is perhaps one of the most polite people on this board. It's my feeling that any personal attack at you must have been unintentional at best. If I had gotten that response from him, I would have been fine with it.

Writing a post in a way that unintentionally appreared as spam is equivilent to writing a response that unintentially appeared as insulting. Call it a draw!

:beatdeadh

Mr. Truelove

[Laura Alura]

An interesting thread to me, as it so totally exemplifies (what I perceive to be) the greatest challenge of the internet and how it is impacting our language. I believe, that we as a culture, perhaps more than most, tend to turn nouns into verbs and vice versa.

In a nutshell, "Please don't spam us" was interpretted to mean "We are being called 'Spammers.'" I often tell Eighteen "Drive carefully." By this same logic, he could interpret that to mean "You are a reckless driver." Not at all what I am saying.

And so, as mrs good times points out, the viewing of someone's face during some conversations cannot be replaced. Hence the wonderful success of and need for
Meet Ups! I'll see y'all at the Meet Up! in Nashville!

Smiles!
Mrs. Alura