Bisexuality Forum?

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Sweet_Candy

Does this mean we will get a straight forum?

You have a valid point. We've heard a lot over the years to the effect that straight couples tend to feel left out because so much of the discussion revolves around bisexuaility. While I don't know that we need both, seperating one or the other out might make both sides a little more comfortable to discuss their preferences.

[fun4two]

yes vote here...

[kaos127]

i am all for the forum i think it would be a good idea

[Dooode]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

You have a valid point. We've heard a lot over the years to the effect that straight couples tend to feel left out because so much of the discussion revolves around bisexuaility.

SLS has a Straight Forum ... although I haven't a clue what they talk about.

Straight things, I guess.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Dooode

SLS has a Straight Forum ... although I haven't a clue what they talk about.

Straight things, I guess.

I guess I should take a look. It seems like most of their forums are overrun with personal ads more than anything else though.

[Confusia31]

I think a forum that would allow anybody and everybody to post thoughts of comfortable situations for them will give others the ability to see/feel how human beings react with one another and realize that sexuality has more to do with the person not the body...It will be great to also see how the pressure from the bi world affects the hetero worlds,...it is only a start to the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

[novabicple]

We're both bi yet we vote with a strong no. There should not be a box in the corner... sorry, a separate forum, in which to put bisexual threads. Many comments in many non-bi threads on this board reflect our feelings that no one should be labeled, catagorized or segregated from the so-called 'mainstream' - particularly in Schwingworld. A separate forum would do just that.

Why make people feel like they're 'different' and don't belong with everyone else?

[Mike and Jan]

novabicple has a point, Julie.

And, it might just keep all mention of bi husbands out of the other swinging discussions.

I've always thought it was interesting when we heard from so many of the ladies about enjoying, or fantasizing about, seeing their men with another man. And, I think these posts allowed some men to realize that they weren't weird at all for considering doing just that.

If it's a separate thread these men and women might never read about these things.

I'll just bet that there are more than a few couples who've opened up about this sort of fantasy from these threads.

[Dooode]

Oh, I don't know. The Bisexuality Forums on SLS are quite active compared to all the other forums there (other than the political and open forums, of course). Heteros--and those claiming to be hetero--participate as well.

The few who also responded to this topic said that they answer whichever topics are currently active .. so there would be a balance of opinions. The major advantages would be taking the bisexual topics out of the mainstream forums to eliminate the confusion for new people thinking that bisexuality is a must to be swingers. Just like the poly and fetish forums, bisexuality is not strictly mainstream swinging (definately not for the guys anyway!), but can still be a part of the lifestyle. I am living testament that this can be so.

The key is creating a comfortable environment for all factions while eliminating confusion and pressure (to be something you're not), while educating and supporting others who are in the same boat. I can only see this as being a benefit.

Sorry, as much as I believe in the "Brotherhood of Man", I just don't see a box.

[JustAskJulie]

I can definately see both sides of this and the point definately would not be to single people out and say they are different but rather to make them more comfortable. Just as the poly forum has allowed a lot of people to feel more comfortable and accepted for their choices a bisexuality forum may do the same and may (hopefully) allow those men who have had bi thoughts but been scared to share them open up a bit more and feel more accepted.

It would not be a situation where every thread that mentioned bisexuality was moved there or expected to be there, there is always going to be some overlap just as there are with the other forums here.

[sereneiders]

Julie,

I agree, but I see novabicpl here. Perhaps what isn't so clear for me is the rule to pick where to make a post. Of course, topics overlaps, and it often happend that a discussion in one forum derivate in a new one in some other forum.

For the Poly forum, it was cloear for me the guidelines: while in Swingerlanld the feelings development are usually avoided (if not ill seen), and even more, it is advisable to avoid them for most newcomers, there is a sub-group of swingers who actually have no problem with this, who may ponder the idea of developing feelings, or who actually do engage in polyamorous relationships, and as it was seen, there is a conflict because either some of the former feels threatened by the laters, or because the laters does so by following certain (additional) rules which are unknown for the former, leading to confuse the "ruled game" with the scenarios all the swingers AND poly-friendly people wants to avoid. So, having a place where people can reasure they're talking about the "ruled game" of love, setting themselves appart from the ones who doesn't understand the need for having rules, became important, as for the people to know that, once in the Poly forum, we're all in the same page regarding the "rules".

This is what, utilmatelly, tells me what deserve to be discussed in the Poly forum and what deserve to go to the other forums, and when a discussion in some other forum deserve to be followed in the Poly one.

In the other hand, IMO, the average straight swinger attitude towards bisexuality is "it is ok, but not my cup of tea", and even for bi swingers, the topics they face when swinging are the same straight swingers does (it may change the characters, but not the cream of the scenario that is usefull for everyone else, bi or not bi). Very few people may have a undesired reaction agains the bi, because of being bi, and most of us would recognize these people as having so issue leading them to react the way they do.

Notice the same happens with Poly-friendly people when discussing swinging issues where the "feelings stuff" has nothing to do with the issues being discussed.

So, the question is... what would deserve to go to the bi forum, or to be followed in a bi forum once started in any other forum? The sole fact that some of the involved people is bi? If so, then I'd agree with novabicouple, and if not... then, what?

As an example for this, some time ago I started a thread at the "Situational Help" forum, looking for advice regarding my own conflicts with bisexuality, for the ones who didn't read it it was, briefly "should I try again?" giving my emotional background. If by then there existed the Bi forum, should I had to post it at the Bi forum or at Situational Help? I'd still choose Situational Help, because at the Bi forum I'd be affraid of getting a biased advice, since for my question it was important to get advice both from bi and straight people, pondering the scenario from their own viewpoint.

To give the oposite example, if we as a poly-friendly couple face a problem while swinging that involve, let say, our girlfriend, in such a way that I feel the outcome may hurt the poly relationship, I'd choose the Poly forum, because I am pretty sure the advice I'd get at some other forum would dimish the value the poly relationship have for me (some may even say "well, you run into this because of the poly relationship in the first place. We told you so and now you're whinning about this? look for advice somewhere else"... that one would be right, so the advice should be looked at the Poly forum).

So, in order to vote for a Bi forum, I'd need to answer this question: what deserve to go there, and what doesn't.

[fun4two]

i posted before i wanted to see the bisexuality forum ...i think it would be a nice place for people to have questons and what nots answered or a chance to ask questons that normally you would try to keep out of regular post...just like the poly forum...it would be a good start for the bi community....and the bi curious people too....

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by sereneiders

So, the question is... what would deserve to go to the bi forum, or to be followed in a bi forum once started in any other forum? The sole fact that some of the involved people is bi? If so, then I'd agree with novabicouple, and if not... then, what?

To (hopefully) help answer your qustion let me give you the determining factors that decide what goes in the Situational Help forum. Topics there are questions about specific situations. IE. This is the situation, should I do it, vs general questions. For example your post needed a context for your question. However, had you just asked the question without the context it would have not fallen in the Situational Help forum, and yes had there been a bisexuality forum it would have fallen there.

We've seen a lot of topics debating the whole idea of bisexuality, debating what makes a person bisexual, debating whether or not anyone is actually straight. Those would go in the bisexual forum. If someone was asking "am I bi?" and giving a context for their situation that could go either way.

You said that you felt like a Poly forum was deserving because it gave those who are poly a place where they feel safe to discuss their questions without judgement of non-poly swingers, that is the same goal we would have for a bisexuality forum. To give those who are bi a place where they can comfortably discuss issues of bisexuality without being judged. Perhaps what we need is a poll to see just how many bisexuals here have felt attacked for their opinions or have held back from posting because they felt their thoughts would not be accepted.

Perhaps we do need a straight forum as well, because on the same hand, it has been made clear on more than one occasion that often (completely) straight couples don't feel welcome or accepted because of their lack of bi-ness.

[Miss_Piggy]

Perhaps the forum could be just generally on the topic of sexuality or sexual orientation or something like that. Then discussion of bisexuality and straightness and such identifications could all fit into the same place. I think most of the discussion of the difficulties related to being a straight couple are heavily related to bisexuality in swinging.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Miss_Piggy

I think most of the discussion of the difficulties related to being a straight couple are heavily related to bisexuality in swinging.

Good point and very true.